


that could be you and me.

by villiblom



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Badass Roronoa Zoro, Bisexual Vinsmoke Sanji, Christmas Dinner, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, New Years, Roronoa Zoro Being an Asshole, Roronoa Zoro and Vinsmoke Sanji Bickering, Trafalgar D. Water Law is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:07:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 44,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23527378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/villiblom/pseuds/villiblom
Summary: Sanji is invited back to the Vinsmokes for the holiday to spend Christmas and the New Year there and he absolutely doesn’t want to go back there but he can’t refuse (read: he can't refuse Reiju) and decides to go but he knows his siblings –sans his sister- will make the days there feel worse than hell itself so he decided to get a date to come along. Unfortunately for him, his date is either the worst choice he’s ever made, or the best.
Relationships: Eustass Kid/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Franky/Nico Robin, Fushichou Marco | Phoenix Marco/Portgas D. Ace, Kaya/Usopp (One Piece), Monkey D. Luffy/Nami, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 20
Kudos: 164





	1. Sanji.

**Author's Note:**

> its a bit hard to believe its been almost a full year since i started something original. i wanted to write throughout 2019 and i did manage to write something but i usually ended up hating everything i wrote so i couldn't update ongoing stories or start a new one till now i guess. im rusty cause i haven't been writing for the past two or three months so if it's ooc or weirdy structured please ignore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i re-read the story and realized it was drifting a bit so i redid the chapter and hopefully this makes more sense. I'll also be re-doing the other one for Zoro.

That day began normally, as any other day did. Sanji was up before the sun rose and did his morning routine. He went into the bathroom immediately after finishing his morning exercises and bathed before heading back into his room and changing into a royal blue suit with a white long-sleeved shirt and a black tie.

  
Sanji grabbed his watch and checked the time before wearing it on his left wrist. He knew he would still have to take it off when he got to the restaurant but wore it anyway and grabbed his house keys, car keys, phone and wallet from the side table before exiting the bedroom and house, locking the door on his way out.

Sanji went to the elevator and pressed the button for the lower floors and waited for a minute while the elevator went up to him from the ground floor. It dinged open when it reached his floor and Sanji entered inside before pressing the number for the ground floor where his car was parked. He checked on his phone on the way done and replied to the messages left by Usopp and Chopper and some of Ace’s old messages. The elevator dinged once again when they reached the ground floor and Sanji pocketed his phone is his suit jacket before exiting the elevator and walking to his car.

  
Sanji unlocked the car and entered inside before starting the engine and peeling out of the underground parking. He drove rather leisurely to his restaurant on the other side town as it was still rather early and none of his staff would be arriving for at least another two hours. Sanji knew it was a little weird to arrive at work two hours earlier than he was supposed to but he liked pre-preparing the food for the customers that would come to eat breakfast there.

He pulled into his restaurant parking sooner than expected and after parking the car, walked around to the back entrance of the restaurant and entered inside.

Sanji’s restaurant served as a cafe during the morning, a restaurant at lunch, and occasionally as a bar. The interior was designed in deep red colors that spanned the entire wall area from the front entrance around the areas designated for the customers to sit, the display cases for their pastries, and the area for the register.

The bar was located upstairs but it was only opened on the weekends but never on Sunday, as that was the store’s general day’s off. Sanji always arrived first and took care of the morning’s shift food and today was no different.

Sanji arrived and soon after entering and turning on the light, he went to change and remove any non-essential clothing in case it were to get dirty or worse. He left them in his changing room locker and went to begin cooking the day’s pastries.

An hour or so after his arrival, Sanji was called up by one of his waitresses and he ignored it and washed off the bits of dough stuck to his skin before exiting the kitchen and heading to the front door to unlock it and let her in.

Sanji, when he’d hired his staff, had told them in case of the keys being misplaced or something happening to either them or the store he was going to always arrive first and they were to call him to inform them when they were outside for him to let them in. Sanji knew it was a weird request and he could just unlock the door when he arrived so he didn’t have to go through the process of walking to the door and unlocking it each time, but it was what he preferred as it provided an albeit peculiar, sense of comfort.

He moved aside and let her walk in and closed the door behind her before greeting her cheerfully. “Good morning, Rebecca!”

Rebecca began removing her bag and her outer coat and taking it to the changing room but not before replying to Sanji’s enthusiastic greeting. “Good morning to you too, Sanji-san!”

“Ah~” Sanji swooned and pretended to faint. “You look wonderful today as well, Rebecca!”

Rebecca put away her things and changed into the black and pale pink colored top designated for work before returning outside to the eating hall. She giggled at Sanji’s comment and said, “Thank you, Sanji-san.”

“Has no one else arrived yet?” Rebecca adds and Sanji shakes his head. “Not yet. You’re the first one here.”

Rebecca glances at the dark brown watch latched onto her wrist and nods. “Well, I am a bit early today. I’ll begin cleaning the tables downstairs first. Is there anything you need me to help you with?”

Sanji shook his head again. “No, I’m good on my own. Thank you for asking.” He begins heading back to the kitchen and adds, “I’m hoping you’ll open for the other when they arrive.”

Rebecca flashes a smile and Sanji swoons again. “No problem, Sanji! Get back in there! It’s going to be time for us to open soon.”

Sanji laughs and goes back inside the kitchen and continuing with the pastries. Eventually, he hears the bell fixed on the top of the entrance door ring once while he was doing the finishing touches on a cake.

The second ring follows soon after the first and Sanji assumes it was half of his morning shift staff. His assumptions are confirmed when he hears the clicking sound of Shirahoshi’s shoes on the tiles. She pops her head in the kitchen and sends him a quick greeting which he returns with almost as much flare as he did for Rebecca.

Caimie, his last waitress does the same and is rewarded with the same reaction. Sanji’s shower of praise and adoration is interrupted by Rebecca calling out for the two women and is closely followed by a threat from Rebecca for him to finish his work soon or they were going to be late.

Sanji took all the pastries he’d made and neatly arranged them in the display case. He made sure they had enough drinks and materials for the customers that would order a drink before giving Rebecca the okay signal and watching as she flipped the “close” sign outside to “open.”

* * *

Their morning rush was surprisingly more manageable than they all thought and they soon found themselves either resting on one of the empty chairs whilst waiting for either a customer or busy cleaning the bottom half of the restaurant for the umpteenth time.

The bell rang again but when Sanji looked up to see, he found out it was just his second cook arriving in time for work.

Sanji had hired several waiters and waitresses because he knew to manage the register, serving people, and making the food, although not impossible, would be tricky for him to do. So, he hired an extra chef to handle the lunch rush and sometimes the night one as well. It worked out well for him because he found a capable cook which meant he could relax and take a couple of minutes to himself.

“Hey guys,” Hatchan greeted when he entered, and like Rebecca, went inside to change out of his normal clothes. “Business is slow again?”

Shirahoshi nodded and lifted her head from where it rested against her palms on one of the empty tables. “The morning rush is getting slower and slower every day.”

Rebecca added, “I mean I’m happy I don’t have to deal with some annoying customers, but when it’s this slow, I would honestly prefer every annoying customer.”

Hatchan laughed. “Then, move your shift over to lunch. There’s more than enough annoying customers at that time.”

Rebecca and Shirahoshi simultaneously shook their heads. “No, thank you. I’ve seen how haggard Coby and Helmeppo look after.”

Sanji greeted Hatchan with a head nod and moved aside for the older man to begin cooking. He went back to the changing room and dug around in his coat before pulling out a small white box, barely past the length of his wrist to where his fingers ended, his phone, and a gold and white lighter.

Sanji passed by the front again and interrupted their mini argument over which rush, morning or lunch, was worse to deal with. “I’m gonna be outside for a bit.” Sanji lifted the box up and tapped it with his finger once before heading outside and closing the door behind him.

* * *

Sanji’s life had been exciting, or extremely busy depending on how you looked at it. As a child, he had a dream to run his own place and make his own food for whoever wanted to eat, and as he grew up and became a teenager, he enrolled in his first-ever cooking school and spent four years, studying and learning, from some of the best cooks in their country.

When he graduated with flying colors, Sanji sought tutelage. He had learned a lot being in the school but he doubted all he learned in class would be quite the same as being in a restaurant. He searched for someone capable, someone he would grow to admire and respect, someone that would help him further his skills, and fortunately enough, he was lucky to find someone he considered the best.

Throughout his life, post-graduation, Sanji spent it working under that man and although Sanji still considered his methods barbaric and boorish, he had enough pride to admit that he did learn something. That the five years, he spent there was the backbone holding his own restaurant in place and keeping it afloat.

Sanji pulled out one cigarette from the white pack and flicked open his lighter, and lighting his cigarette. Sanji took a deep drag from it and held it inside, letting the smoke swirl with his insides and nestle deeply inside his lungs before exhaling slowly and blowing it out.

Sanji repeated the action four more times, and each time a bit more of his cigarette burned closer and closer to where his slim, bony fingers rested. Sanji was about to take another drag when he felt a low vibration in his back pocket.

Someone was calling him.

Sanji took his phone out and almost immediately, his face contorted when he read the name at the Caller ID. Sanji sneered at his phone and considered letting it ring until the phone call ended automatically but knew that wasn’t ever going to be enough to stop his insufferable elder siblings.

“What?” Sanji asked, his tone highly acidic and abrasive.

A harsh and cruel laugh sounded in his ears. “Is that how you greet your brother now, Sanji? I’m hurt.” His brother finished with a mock gasp of pain.

Sanji rolled his eyes but didn’t let up. “You are no brother of mine, Niji. What do you want?”

Niji simply laughed again and said, “Those are our words, dear brother. A failure like you simply cannot be one of us.”

Sanji grits his teeth and dug into the filter part of the cigarette. His grip on the phone tightened to the point Sanji wondered if it was possible to break a phone with his bare hands because right now, it felt like he could.

“What. Do. You. Want?” Sanji spat out each accentuated word and was punished with another sound of Niji laughing.

“You’re so tense, little brother.” Niji mocked. “It’s not like I want to talk to you either, you know. But because our father is becoming old and disgustingly sentimental, he wants to see you.”

Sanji scoffed and threw down the cigarette and stomped on it, the tip of his shoes digging into the earth. “He’s never wanted to see me for the past twelve years, what does he want from me now?”

“Ooh!” Niji made a sound and said, “You spent all that time counting if Daddy was ever going to come and get you back, Sanji?”

Sanji growled angrily and barked out. “If you don’t tell me what the fuck you want, Niji, I will hang up on you.”

Niji whistled and laughed again. “Okay, okay. No need to get your panties in a twist.” His voice became serious. “Dad wants you home for the Christmas holidays.”

Sanji scoffed again and shook his head. The outright audacity of his family, if he could even call them that, never ceased to astound him.

“No fucking way am I returning back to you or that man.”

Niji laughed again but it was filled with scorn and hate. “It’s not up to you, Sanji. He wants to see you, so you better be here before Christmas.”

“Listen to me very well, Niji, and make sure you tell this to that man as well. There is no fucking way I am going to come back there. You can all go and find the biggest pole out there and shove it up your fucking asses.” Sanji hanged up after saying that and made sure to block that number.

His nerves were agitated after nearly a minute spent talking to one of his elder siblings and Sanji pulled out two more cigarettes and smoked them down to the end. Sanji took a bit longer to cool off before heading back inside and returning his phone, cigarette box and lighter into his coat. He exits the room only to bump into Shirahoshi.

“I’m sorry about that, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” Sanji said but it lacked the usual enthusiasm and vigor. “Are you alright?”

Shirahoshi nodded and waved off Sanji’s concern, “I’m fine. I was just a little bit dazed.”

Sanji offers a smile but even Shirahoshi can see it’s forced and weak. He turns, about to walk past her and back to the kitchen when she grabs his arm and halts him from leaving.

Sanji turns to her and looks at her expectantly and Shirahoshi flusters and lets go of Sanji’s arm, crossing her own behind her back as she hurriedly spits out a lame excuse.

“Uh…I was talking to Rebecca and Caimie,” Shirahoshi began, “And since Christmas is in two weeks, we were talking about our Christmas plans and…”

Sanji tensed at the mention of Christmas but kept his face blank and neutral.

Shirahoshi, “I wanted to ask if you had any plans for Christmas, this year. Last year you stayed here by yourself, so I wanted to know if you had planned anything this year or not.”

Sanji could tell Shirahoshi’s question came from a good place and he did appreciate her worries for him although he felt bad for making a woman, especially a young woman like Shirahoshi worry about him, he couldn’t really tell her the truth about his family and why he was so adamant when it came to this specific holiday.

Sanji smiled at her again and did his best to make it look natural. “Unfortunately, I’ll be staying home this Christmas, Shirahoshi. Thank you for worrying about me though,” Sanji rested a hand on Shirahoshi’s shoulder, “I appreciate it.”

Sanji walked past Shirahoshi and went back to the kitchen and wholly immersed himself into making food in the desperate hope that the scathing words that were already etched into his skull from his elder brother would dissipate if he ignored it hard enough.

* * *

The next day, fortunately, was a Saturday, which meant Sanji only had to work for half a day and it was at night. Sanji groaned and turned over in bed, burying his head deeper into the pillow. He was about to fall asleep when he felt a vibration to his left and soon a ringing sound filled the room.

In his sleep-dazed state, Sanji groaned again and reached out for the noisy device. He felt his fingers around the small rectangular shape and grabbed it, his fingers automatically sliding the green caller icon to the right and answering the call.

Sanji slapped the phone onto his ear and made a weak sound into it that he assumed sounded like “What?”.

Sanji expected several different people that weren’t his sister to be calling him so when his sister’s stern yet kind voice filtered through to his ears, he immediately shot upright and grasped his phone in hand.

Sanji pulled the device away and looked at the ID and it was, in fact, his elder sister calling him at 7 in the morning. Sanji returned the phone to his ear and hesitantly responded, “Reiju…?”

Reiju scoffed and said, “Do you know anyone else called Reiju, Sanji?”

Sanji shook his head then remembered she couldn’t see him. “No, it’s not that. It’s just you almost never call me. Is something wrong?”

“I don’t call you because you’re never there to pick up my calls!” Reiju bit back and Sanji winced. She was right.

“I’m sorry…” Sanji replied meekly and he heard Reiju huff into the speaker. “But you didn’t answer my question. Is something wrong?”

Reiju paused for a moment before exhaling heavily. If Sanji wasn’t sure about there being a problem before, that sigh definitely confirmed it.

“Are you really not going to come this time as well?” Reiju asked, her voice uncharacteristically small and timid. 

Sanji hesitates and runs a hand through his messy morning hair. “I…don't know, Reiju… I don’t want to be anywhere near that man, not after what he did.”

Reiju sighed. “I know, Sanji and I don’t want to be there either. But you know how bad he can be if you don’t come. I told you what happened last time.”

Sanji, “I honestly think the little tantrum was worth it. I can’t stand to be there knowing how much sick pleasure he gets from seeing me angry.”

Reiju, “It wasn’t just a tantrum, Sanji! Tantrums are what Yonji does! What he did was attack everyone that came within a meter distance of him!”

“He’s done worse and we both know it, Reiju.” Sanji countered.

Reiju huffed again and Sanji could see her running a hand through her hair frustratedly. “Anyway, will you come? Please? Don’t leave me here alone with them again, Sanji.”

Sanji faltered. He absolutely did not want to step a foot in that building his siblings called home, nor did he want to see that man he was supposed to call his father but he couldn’t stand to leave Reiju alone. He already felt guilty for doing it to her last year, doing it once more would be an asshole move even if it meant seeing his siblings and birth father in the flesh.

He sighed and said, “Okay. I’ll come.”

Reiju’s tone immediately became vibrant and happy. “Really? Thank you, Sanji!”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved off his sister’s comments but a smile pulled on his lips. “But don’t tell the others I’m coming yet. I need to sort things out here first.”

Reiju agreed and after a few more words the call ended and Sanji sat there in silence. He looked down at his phone and cursed himself. He had just willingly doomed himself to almost a week in his elder siblings and father’s presence. Reiju was a blessing and would definitely help to ease some of the animosity flying between them but Sanji couldn’t count on her to be there always. He considered getting Ace or Brook to come along but he knew they both had to already have plans for Christmas.

Sanji groaned and fell back onto the mattress. He covered his face with the bedsheets and blanket and tried to fall asleep. After all, he still had two weeks to try and come up with a solution. For now, he was going to sleep and internally wish he woke up when it was the new year already.


	2. Zoro.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing, Zoro!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you for all the kind feedback despite it being only one chapter out. I really do appreciate it a lot. I'm also trying this new style where I write two chapters ahead of the current posted chapter that way I can hopefully avoid writer's block and at least have a couple of the chapters in store. So when I'm done writing the fourth chapter is when I'll post the third one and so on and so forth. Please tell me what you think about it and hmu if there's anything wonky with the story or characters! Enjoy!

Zoro’s morning routine usually started with his best friend and business partner cussing out the shower as if it were a living, breathing creature, and today was no different.

“Fucking piece of shit!” Law cussed loudly and Zoro rolled his eyes so hard, he was sure they grazed the back of his skull.

“Zoro!” Law bellowed, “I keep telling you to get this fucking shower fixed every fucking time! It removes nothing but fucking cold water every fucking day!”

Zoro held his breath and kept quiet, internally hoping Law would think he was still asleep and leave him alone but alas, luck was not on his side. Law barged into his bedroom and Zoro briefly considered acting like he was still asleep but remembered the hell it brought the last time he had tried that. 

Zoro cracked an eye open and looked up at his best friend. He was positively _seething_. 

“Morning to you too, Law.” Zoro made out and sat up slowly and stretched. It was like watching a lethargic tiger wake up, albeit a large, green one.

“You asshole,” Law spat, “While you were busy here, enjoying your _toasty_ nap,” The amount of venom laced in the word “ _toasty_ ” almost made Zoro fear for his life. “I was busy being rained on by the coldest shower on earth.”

“Oh come on,” Zoro replied and yawned. “It’s not that bad. You’re just too used to warm showers. Once you get used to it, it’s actually kinda nice.”

Law glared at Zoro so fiercely he wondered if there had been any reported cases of spontaneous human combustion. “Are you saying I’m too pampered?” Law’s voice shookwith anger.

Zoro got out of bed and passed his friend and headed to the aforementioned bathroom with Law close behind him. “No. I’m saying, try taking a cold shower once in a while. It won’t kill you, you know.”

“I go to work at 4 in the morning, you asswipe. It could kill me!” Law snapped back and Zoro guessed he had a point.

“Okay,” Zoro said wearily. “I’ll talk to Kidd and ask him to fix it.”

“No.” Law refused. “Don’t bother my boyfriend to fix something you should have fixed by yourself.”

“Are you being serious right now?” Zoro asked incredulously. “He is the one who installed it!”

“It doesn’t matter. Get someone other than my boyfriend to do your chores.” Law said and pushed Zoro out of the bathroom. “Now get out. Unlike you, I still have to get to work.”

* * *

After Law finally went to work, Zoro got a chance to use the bathroom and clean himself up after last night. He had come home late from the gym, and was too tired to bother showering and just fell asleep with his face mushed into the pillow. Zoro cleaned his body, brushed his teeth and shaved off the little stubble he had growing on his chin before exiting the bathroom and going to the kitchen to fix himself a snack.

Zoro grabbed his food and went to sit on the couch while he browsed through his phone for his schedule. When he decided to start his own dojo with Law, Zoro hadn’t expected to be as busy as he was now. Zoro had to (albeit, the persistent persuasion from Law contributed a lot to it) make a schedule in case he forgot a class or missed out on an individual training session with one of his weaker pupils.

Fortunately for him, his schedule seemed mostly clear for the day except for a class he had in the late afternoon. Zoro could probably get a plumber to fix their shower before Law came back at night and decided to chew him out for not fixing it. Again. 

Zoro finished his food and went back into his room to pick out a clean pair of clothes and shoes before grabbing his helmet, keys, phone and wallet and walking out of their apartment. He went down the stairs and took a left and then a right before turning around and taking two lefts and finding his monochrome motorcycle parked a few blocks from their apartment.

“Did you move yourself or something…?” Zoro muttered to the bike before climbing on and inserting the keys and turning it. He wore his helmet and tested the engine twice before stepping on the ignition and peeling out of the parking space and down the road to Law’s boyfriend shop.

* * *

Zoro reached Kidd's garage and parked outside. He turned off the keys and climbed off his bike before taking off the helmet. Zoro slid the keys into his front pockets and carried the helmet on his left hand before walking into Kidd’s garage.

When he entered there was no sign of the wild redhead and Zoro paused for a second to place his helmet down on a semi-clean surface before his ears caught the sound of something, a metal, cluttering to the floor closely followed by a pained hiss and headed towards it. He found a tuft of familiar flaming crimson hair sticking out of one of the cars and knocked on the hood twice.

“Oi, Kidd,” Zoro said as a form of greeting and moved back a step for the redhead to pull himself out from under the car.

“Zoro!” Kidd greeted rather amicably and fist-bumped him. “It’s been a while.”

Zoro snorted and said, “No, it hasn’t. I saw you last week with Law, remember?”

“Oh…” Kidd said and shrugged. “I guess I forgot.”

Zoro shook his head, already exasperated. Brief memory loss was something Zoro had become acquainted with in the fleeting months he’d known Kidd. Law frequently mentioned how it was one of his rather “adorable” traits but Zoro struggled to agree as Kidd was the farthest being from adorable. Kidd was by no means a small man. He stood tall at 6 feet, nearing 7 which meant he was almost a good two feet taller than Zoro which aggravated him more than he would like to admit.

“Anyway, I came to ask if you know of any good plumbers? Law bitched about the shower again.” 

The skin where Kidd’s eyebrows were supposed to be lifted, “Oh yeah, he told me today.” Said, “If that asshole Zoro comes here and asks you to fix our shower, you have my permission to physically throw him out.” Kidd did an exaggerated impression of his boyfriend that was far more accurate than it had any rights being. Not that Zoro would ever tell the large red male.

Instead, Zoro huffed in annoyance. Law could really be a fucking pain in his ass when he wanted to be. “Yeah, so.” Zoro forced his voice to not betray how annoyed he really felt. “Do you? Know of any plumbers, I mean.”

Kidd hummed and bit his lip as he thought. “There’s this one guy, I’m not sure if you’ll know him though. He’s the one who made your bike.”

Zoro’s brows furrowed. “Nah, I don’t know him. You never really introduced us. Why? He’s good?”

Kidd nodded. “I learned what I know from him.” Zoro’s eyebrow shot up. Kidd was a pretty fucking good mechanic (and a pretty arrogant one, at that) thus hearing him praise someone other than himself meant a whole of a fucking lot.

“Alright, do you have his number?” 

* * *

Zoro had to drive for another thirty minutes -in his defense, the road kept twisting and turning every time- before he finally spotted the disturbingly bright shade of aqua blended in with a pale shade of red, just like Kidd had said. At the top of the garage door were the skewed words “Franky’s Shop,” in white spray paint. It looked a bit weird and childish from the outside but Zoro believed in Kidd’s talent enough to park his bike nearby and walk inside. 

Unlike Kidd’s garage, Franky’s shop had a few mechanics inside. From what he could see, Zoro spotted four mechanics. One was working on a beaten-up white car over to the left, another one was bent over the hood of a bright red car to the right side and the remaining two were on either side of a sleek black car and appeared to be interacting with someone underneath it.

_‘What’s with all these mechanics and being under cars?’_ Zoro thought to himself as he walked in and cleared his throat. The mechanic working on the white car turned to him and then called the one working on the red car. The mechanic working on the red car left the car and came up to Zoro, hastily wiping his greased fingers and palms over his stained overalls. 

First thing Zoro noticed was the abnormally long nose the man had closely followed by the large mass of black curly hair the man had neatly tied up into a bun on the top of his head. He was dressed in dark green overalls with a black shirt on the inside and yellow boots. Zoro found the man’s appearance a bit weird but considering he had natural mint-green hair and could only see through one eye, he figured he had no right to judge.

“I’m looking for Franky. Kidd sent me.” Zoro said without an introduction and the man floundered for a second at the mention of Kidd, clearly, some bad memories dwelled between the two, before replying. “Franky? Let me get him.”

Zoro watched as the man went to the blue car and knocked on the board he could now see went under the car. The man bent down and whispered something to the man down there, and Zoro guessed that was the man he was looking for. The curly-haired man stood back up and went back to Zoro.

“He’s coming. Just wait here.” The man said and went back to working on his own car, leaving Zoro to, well...stand there.

After a few minutes, the man underneath the car rolled out and stood up. Zoro briefly wondered if it was a thing going around for mechanics to have the wildest color of hair or it was just this guy and Kidd. 

The man in question, Franky, had bright blue hair, identical to the paint-job outside, and was rather literally built like a tank. He had shoulders wider than most human beings Zoro had ever seen and his biceps were about four times Zoro’s. Everything about his upper body had to be nearly four times Zoro. However, it contrasted weirdly with his significantly smaller lower half, and paired out with legs as slender as Law’s, Franky was quite a sight.

Franky came over to Zoro and greeted him cheerfully. Must be another thing mechanics shared. “Yo! I’m Franky! Usopp told me you were looking for me?”

Zoro nodded, “Kidd sent me, said you could help me out.”

Franky’s eyes lit up and his grin widened at the mention of his former apprentice. “Kidd, huh?” “How’s that kid doing anyway?”

Zoro swiftly ignored the unintentional pun and said, “He’s great. He’s got a shop downtown.”

Franky grinned in response, clearly proud of the bristly red-head. “Anyway, you didn’t come all the way here to talk about Kidd. What do you need help with? A broken car? A busted bike?”

“My shower. It’s broken.” 

Franky’s expression became confused. “Wait, you drove all the way here, past Kidd, a pretty handy mechanic, to ask about a... broken shower?”

Zoro felt about as ridiculous as the story sounded. “Yeah, I know. It’s a long story. But, can you do it? I need it fixed by today, if possible.” 

“Well…” Franky scratched at his chin, “I can’t really leave to fix a shower. I’ve got a deadline to match.” He pointed at the blue car, “I’ve got to fix that car before it gets dark.”

Zoro cussed softly. Things really were not looking good for him. “Then, is there someone else you can spare to come and fix it for me?”

Franky observed his staff and paused at the man Zoro had interacted with when he arrived. “Usopp!” Franky yelled and the sound was loud enough to startle the man and his co-workers. Usopp hurriedly put down his tools and came over to the two of them. “Yes, Franky?”

“I need you to go with this man,” Franky turned to Zoro and looked at him for a moment or so before Zoro caught on and said, “Zoro,” 

Franky continued, “Yes, with this man, Zoro, and fix his shower.”

Usopp looked conflicted for a second, the desire to stay back and work evident on his features before he agreed and went back to the red car to grab his tools and shove them into a golden yellow and white box covered in little bright yellow flowers that intertwined at the top and climbed onto the white handles. It was as if the box was being devoured by a golden yellow flower.

“You came here with a car?” Franky asked conversationally while they waited for Usopp to return.

“Nah, I have a bike.” Zoro said, “Actually, Kidd says you’re the one who helped make it. Thanks, by the way.”

Franky let out a loud shout of surprise (and joy?) and rushed outside to look for Zoro’s bike. When he saw it, Franky’s voice grew even louder and he ran to the bike. Zoro followed behind and Usopp behind him. The two men stood to the side as Franky gushed over his (technically, Zoro’s) bike and observed it thoroughly, as if looking for any faults or mistakes. Whether it was a mistake on Zoro’s part or his own that he was looking for, Zoro couldn’t really tell.

Zoro walked closer to _his_ bike and asked flippantly, “You done making out with my bike now?”

Franky reluctantly pulled away from Zoro’s bike and looked wistfully at the bike. “She’s one of my greatest works, you know.”

Zoro snorted lightly and climbed onto the bike and waited for Usopp to get on before replying to Franky. “For what it’s worth, she’s the best bike I’ve ever ridden.” Zoro did say that partly to comfort the abnormally large aqua-haired man but also because it was the truth. She really was the best bike Zoro had ever ridden.

Usopp gingerly climbed onto the bike positioned himself with his box between his chest and Zoro’s back and his legs dangling on the sides of the bike. Zoro clicked his tongue and turned around to look at Usopp.

“Have you never ridden a motorcycle before?” Zoro asked a bit annoyed and Usopp jumped at the glare unknowingly etched onto Zoro’s features and at the question.

“Not really.” Usopp managed out and Zoro huffed for the second time in less than an hour. Zoro took the yellow flower box and kept it in front of his thighs and showed Usopp where his legs were supposed to rest. 

  
“You can hold onto the bars back there or onto me. I don’t mind either way.” Zoro said and handed Usopp the helmet. Usopp quickly wore the helmet and grabbed onto Zoro’s midsection. Zoro waved goodbye to Franky and promised to return Usopp as soon as the shower was up and running before turning on the bike and stepped on the ignition _hard_ , pulling out of the parking before speeding down the road at startlingly high speeds.

* * *


	3. First Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she turned to Sanji and flashed a quick and bright smile and said the last thing neither he or Ace were ever expecting to hear.
> 
> “Well then, Sanji. How would you feel about taking my dear best friend,” She looked back at her table, the two men now deeply engrossed in a conversation and back at Sanji, “along with you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry!! i know i said a weekly update and it's been nearly a month but i re-edited the chapters from the beginning and writing this one was a really long and tough process but im really sorry and i'll try to update as frequently as i can!!

“Fuck,” Usopp exhaled as he got off the bike on shaky legs. Zoro snorted and turned off the engine before taking out the keys and putting them in his pocket. “Don’t die on me now, Usopp. I still need your help.”

Usopp, still stuck in a sort of post- _’driving-across-the-street-at-exceedingly-high-speeds’_ trance, nodded and followed Zoro up to the apartment.

They reached the house and Zoro directed Usopp towards the bathroom while he went to the kitchen to get a drink. Zoro grabbed a cold beer from the fridge and headed down the hallway to the bathroom to check up on the long-nosed plumber.

“You need anything?” Zoro asked, his tone a bit detached and aloof.

Usopp looked up from his tools at Zoro and shook his head. He stood up from his previous squatting position and looked up at the showerhead. “I’ve tried turning it on and it doesn’t seem that bad. It’s probably just a problem with the heater.”

“Huh,” Zoro grunted and took another long pull from the bottle in his hand. “So, you can fix it?”

Usopp nodded. “Yeah, for sure! If it’s what I think it is, then yeah, it’ll be really easy.”

“Cool, cool.” Zoro swirled the dark yellow liquid around and took another pull from it albeit not as long as the first one. He took out his phone with his other hand and sent a text to his annoying roommate.

‘ _Got it fixed, you can stop your bitching now_.’

His phone dinged almost immediately. _‘I was not “bitching”, you asshole._ ’ It read and Zoro almost laughed. He didn’t know what qualified as “bitching” to Law but in his books, Law was _definitely_ bitching. 

His phone dinged again. _‘Did you get Kid-ya to do it?’_

Zoro quickly typed out a reply. _‘Nah, you cock-blocked that, remember? I found another guy. He says it’s not that bad.’_

Law was almost as fast to reply. ‘ _Which guy? I thought Kidd was the only mechanical guy you know.’_

Zoro replied, _‘He is. But he’s the one who knows this guy. It’s a friend of a friend.’_

Law, _‘I’m not too comfortable with the idea of a stranger inside our bathroom, Zoro-ya.’_

Zoro rolled his eyes and sighed. Leave it to Law to worry about something like this. _‘It’s fine. I’m watching him._ ’ He adds, ‘ _Besides, what is he gonna do? Try and steal your precious toothbrush? Unclog the toilet? Fix the sink’s drain?’_

Zoro could almost see the crease in between Law’s dark eyebrows and the harsh glare form in his mind. _‘Shut up. You know what I mean_ .’ Law sends another text, ‘ _Just be careful and make sure the shower is actually working. I don’t want another repeat of last time. I gotta go.’_

Zoro sends the thumbs-up emoticon and locks the screen before slipping his phone back into his pocket. He took another swig of the beer and looked at Usopp. His attention was quickly drawn away, finding the act of keeping watch too boring and mundane, and looked towards the yellow box sitting on the floor.

“Did you do that yourself?” Zoro asks conversationally and briefly wonders why he’s bothering to converse with the other man. It wasn’t like him in the slightest.

Usopp turned to Zoro again, his eyebrow cocked in confusion, and Zoro pointed to the yellow box and asked again, “The box. Did you do that yourself?”

“Yeah. ”Usopp looked at the box and a shy but fond smile pulled on his lips. He laughed once, embarrassed, “It was something I did when I was bored.”

Zoro nodded and let his fingers play idly with the bottle’s rim, circling it round and round as if it were a game only his fingers were in on. “It’s good.”

Usopp flushed brightly and turned back to the shower. “Thanks.”

Zoro nodded again and left the bathroom. He went back to the kitchen and quickly chugged the remaining murky liquid before disposing of it and taking another one from the fridge. Zoro returned to the bathroom to find Usopp in the midst of packing up his tools. 

“Done already?” Zoro asked and Usopp nodded. “It’s like I thought. The problem isn’t with the shower but the heater. I need to go fix that instead,” Usopp finished packing up and grabbed his box and stared at Zoro, “Could you show me where it is?”

Zoro left the bathroom again and walked out of the apartment with Usopp trailing behind him. They went down the stairs and to the basement where several white heaters were situated. On the giant cylinders were two letters written in paint. As they neared the cylinders, Zoro realized it was the door number for each tenant in the building.

“Which door number do you live in?” Usopp asked and squinted down to look at the nearest cylinder. 

“16.” 

Usopp begins moving around, searching for the number 16. He manages to find it, situated in the back, and sets his toolbox down and begins working. In the middle of his work, Usopp suddenly exclaims and swivels around to look for the green-haired man. “Mr.Zoro!” He calls out and after a beat, the aforementioned man walks up to him.

“What?” He asks, an eyebrow raised.

Usopp is quick to say, “I forgot to say this earlier but I need you to go back to the apartment and check the temperature.”

“You can’t tell that shit from down here?” Zoro asked and Usopp shook his head.

“Well, I mean I can but sometimes it’s not very accurate. The temperature I could get here if I fix it could be slightly or drastically different to the one upstairs. I need someone to go and see if the two match. ”

Zoro sighed but did as Usopp asked and went back up the stairs and into the apartment. He walked into the bathroom and turned the tap, letting the water drip out for a beat before placing his hand, palms facing down against the water. 

He deemed it an acceptable temperature for both him and Law and went back down to tell Usopp. After he did that, things moved relatively smoothly. Usopp managed to fix the shower and regulated the temperature and Zoro made sure to send a text to Law, telling him that it was fixed, even going as far as to send a picture of the shower running.

Zoro waited for Usopp to gather his tools once more before they descended the steps to the outside of the building and to his bike. Fixing the shower had taken less time than Zoro expected when he looked at the time, it’d only been an hour give or take. Zoro climbed onto his bike and once again handed off the helmet to Usopp. They resumed their position from before and Usopp tightened his grip around Zoro’s middle as the latter man stepped on the gas and drove off.

* * *

After Zoro returned Usopp back to Franky and settled the bill for the shower, his phone began ringing. Zoro pulled out the device and checked it. It was an alarm. Due to his poor memory, Law had advised him to put alarms ten or twenty minutes before any schedule in case he forgot about it entirely and began doing something else. This idea had helped him out more times than Zoro would like to admit, and this time was no different. His phone rang shrilly in his palm as he read the little notification on the top, alerting him that his private kendo class was about to start.

Zoro cursed under his breath and went to his bike. He hopped on and immediately pulled out of Franky’s garage and down the street to his dojo. Zoro sped down the street and arrived at his dojo in record time, although he _may_ or _may not_ have broken several traffic rules and _may_ or _may not_ have nearly driven right into someone.

Zoro parked his bike and hurriedly entered his dojo. He rushed to the changing rooms and quickly changed out of his clothes and into more formal and appropriate wear before exiting and entering his dojo to find his student already there and waiting.

Zoro went to the small sliding door to his left and got out two wooden swords. He handed one over to the student and grasped the other in his right hand. The two men came close to each other and stood about a foot or two apart and bowed. Zoro waited for the child to lift his head and assume his stance before doing the same and consequently, starting the lesson.

* * *

An hour before opening time, Sanji woke up and headed to the shower. He made quick business in the shower and exited the room with his hair dripping wet. Sanji swiped a towel from the rack and carelessly flung it over his shoulder to catch the drops before they dripped down his neck and back and hit the floor. 

He went over to his expansive closet and dug around looking for the perfect suit. Considering today was one of the days he opened at night and would consequently be working late hours, chances were he would return at an odd hour in the morning so, with that in mind, Sanji picked a black suit with a red undershirt and a similar black tie. He paired them off with a simple silver watch and gold cuffs and a pair of polished black shoes, quickly spraying himself with some cologne and deodorant.

Sanji went back to the bathroom to return the towels and paused in front of the mirror. He tilted his head to the right then to the left and hummed. He turned his head again and pulled at one of his ears. Maybe it was time for him to wear one of his studs again.

Sanji's lips pulled up at the memory of the piercing and after a second spent deliberating whether or not to wear them, he returned to his closet and dug up the old black and white box. The box was decorated with a medium-sized silver engravement in the middle and had a similar one at the bottom, parallel to the one on top. Sanji opened it and before he was three different earrings; two small ones were arranged to the left side of the box and sat directly beside the longest one Sanji currently owned. The two small earrings were small black and gold studs with a simple white outline and a similar white stopper. 

The other earring he’d bought was far more noteworthy and daring. It was a long one and had two clamps at each end. One of the ends, the one meant to go into his ear lobe, had a metal shape on it that would dangle just past his ear and would occasionally brush over his neck while the other was a clamp meant to go either on the lower part of his ear or the higher part, directly above his ear lobe. 

Sanji considered wearing two small ones but settled for wearing the long one instead. It was already more than enough change in his appearance, Sanji didn’t want to risk looking too out of place with the three on. Sanji wore the long earring and clipped the other clamp on the top part of his ear. He went back to the bathroom to see how it looked and was rather pleased with the business but sort of chic look it gave.

He styled his hair in a careless sort of way, letting the curls fall softly past his left eye and messed up the rest with his hand before deciding to leave his house before he spent another minute fixing his appearance. Sanji grabbed his keys, phone, and wallet before exiting and driving off to work.

* * *

Law, for the first time in over a month, reached home at a semi-decent time. He had been taken aback when his supervisor had, quite literally, _shoved_ him out of his office and the hospital building. Law had tried to ask why he was being let out _six_ hours before his usual time but he received no reply save for the consistent hands on his back, urging him to leave.

He was pushed out until he stood in front of his car, still dressed in the white lab coat that was soon removed from his body. Law’s supervisor handed him his phone, keys, notepad before waving, and rushed back into the building with a warning that ‘jokingly’ threatened to rob Law of a job if he came back in before the sun was up and shining again.

Law, a bit miffed at being manhandled out of his workplace in front of his colleagues, had no other choice but to enter the car and drive himself back home. He knew his supervisor would never be able to fire him especially over something like this as the man tended to favor him the most, but if Law was being truly honest with himself, he was internally grateful for the man’s forwardness. Law was exhausted and was also severely deprived of rest that consisted of more than 2 hours at a time. So, Law got into his car and drove off. And despite his initial worries about traffic considering he was leaving work at what was considered a “normal” time, Law reached their apartment complex pretty early.

He parked the car and exited before heading up the stairs and up to his and Zoro’s shared house. When Law decided to move in with Zoro, he knew the risk he was taking because while the two worked incredibly well as friends, living together was a separate matter entirely. Law didn’t know how badly they would clash and true to his fear, they clashed terribly the first few months they lived together. It got too bad that even Law’s boyfriend was urging him to move out and consider living with him but Law was as headstrong as a bull and Zoro was no different. Neither male had enough pride to move out so they bore through the hell of living with each other and eventually (after a lot of persuasions) came to a truce.

“Zoro!” Law called out when he entered and after a minute of silence, he heard rustling in the next room, Zoro’s room.

Zoro’s head soon popped out of the room and judging from how his eyes were barely open, his hair was even more of a mess than usual and the shirt was barely managing to hang onto his body. Law guessed he’d just woken up.

“What…?” Zoro groggily managed out and Law gave him another once-over. 

“Wanna go for a drink?” 

Zoro’s eyes bulged open and gaped at Law as if he’d spouted another arm and head. Law rolled his eyes at the overdramatization and added, “What? You don’t want to? I was under the assumption you were a fervent alcoholic with no worries for your liver.”

“It’s not that…” Zoro began and Law walked past Zoro and into his room. He left the door open as a silent invitation for Zoro to enter and he did. Zoro hovered by the door before settling for leaning his weight on the doorway. “You know you’ve never invited me out for a drink, right?”

Law took off his work clothes and tossed them to the hamper near Zoro. “That’s not true. I invited you at that time with Kid.”

“That was only because Kid overestimated how much he and Heat could drink and you didn’t want to waste the alcohol!”

Law shrugged. “It’s the same thing, isn’t it?” He reached into his closet and grabbed out a simple black tee with matching black ripped jeans. He wore a light grey cardigan over it and turned to Zoro with an eyebrow raised. “Based on all your questions, I’m guessing you don’t want to?”

Zoro shook his head. “I never said that. I’m just wondering where it’s coming from.”

“It’s my way of saying thank you,” Law said and clasped his hands in front of him, his face irritatingly blank and unreadable.

“For what?” Zoro’s expression was muddled. 

“Fixing the shower, you dunce.” Law’s tone implied that it was pretty fucking obvious and thinking about it, it really was.

“Oh. Well, if you’re going to be taking me out for a drink every time I do something you ask me to, I’ll be hospitalized for alcohol poisoning.” Zoro said carelessly and walked out of Law’s room with the other man right behind him.

Zoro paused just outside of his room and said, “Let me change as well then. I’ll be fast.”

Law shrugged and walked away. “I’ll be waiting downstairs then.”

Zoro nodded but Law didn’t see it and went back into his room to change into something decent. He found a pair of black pants in the corner of the room and dug around his bed for a shirt. He settled on a tan-colored shirt and a pair of dark brown boots. Zoro exited his room after taking his keys, wallet, and phone and made sure to lock up the house before descending the steps and meeting up with Law downstairs.

* * *

Sanji opened up the restaurant when he arrived and made sure to put the signs directing people upstairs to where the bar was located. They were due to open in the next thirty minutes, so Sanji spent most of that time ensuring things were where they were supposed to be and confirming his bartenders and waiter’s location. 

Sanji, in addition to Hatchan, Coby and Helmeppo, had hired two more men that usually worked the night shift on the weekend. Sanji had received a text from both of them informing him that they would be arriving in less than ten minutes and while he waited for them to arrive, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts before settling on a letter category and selecting the person he went there for.

A few seconds passed before a click sound was heard and a familiar voice filled Sanji’s ears.

“Sanji?” Ace asked and Sanji felt something in him get lighter. It was always strangely rewarding and calming to interact with the older man and that feeling never wavered despite the years he and Ace spent together. “What’s up?”

“Hey, Ace,” Sanji greeted and was hesitant to add, “I sort of... did something and I need your advice.”

Sanji heard some rustling before it was silent again. “You want to talk about it over the phone?”

“Nah,” Sanji replied, “I’m about to open the bar in, like, fifteen minutes. Could you come over here instead?”

Ace was silent for a beat and then said, “Yeah, sure. I’m on my way.”

“Thanks,” Sanji said and hung up the phone. He exhaled heavily and pocketed his phone again. 

He wasn’t going to lie, he was a bit scared about sharing his holiday plans with Ace, not because he had made prior engagements with the man or anything, but rather because the older man knew and had witnessed first hand how terrible his family was. Sanji wasn’t scared of what Ace could do to him but was, in fact, scared because he rarely liked disappointing Ace and he knew this would definitely count as a disappointment.

Sanji was pulled out of his musings by a sharp knock and he looked up to see a giant familiar head of bright green hair. Sanji went to the door and unlocked it and waited for the two men to walk in before shutting it.

Bartholomew was the first one to greet him, his voice still as glass-shattering loud as usual. “Hey! Sanji!” 

Sanji cracked a smile and pumped his fist with the offered fist from Bartholomew. “Nice to see you too, Bart.”

Bartholomew gagged a little at the nickname but headed into the changing room to get dressed. The second man and his waiter for the night, Cavendish was more withdrawn and elegant with his introductions and offered Sanji a simple bow before going to get changed as well. 

Sanji went upstairs to the bar and sat at the stools. He trusted Bartholomew and Cavendish enough to let them close up the restaurant before heading upstairs so in the meantime while he waited, Sanji tried thinking of a viable excuse to avoid going to his parents.

He couldn’t use the “I’m sick,” excuse because it was well-known that Sanji took good care of himself. He couldn’t say he already had planned before after Reiju found out he’d spent last year just indoors after lying he’d made plans with Ace and his other friends. Also, all his past excuses were immediately ruled out by his promise to his sister.

Sanji was a lot of things, but he liked to believe he was a man of his word. Especially when it came to the only person he considered to be family. Sanji groaned and slammed his head down on the counter. 

“Is what you did that bad you’d slam your head down on the counter?” A voice asked and Sanji lifted his head to see his best friend staring down at him with an eyebrow raised and a small lift to his mouth.

“Ace!” Sanji exclaimed and the man took the seat next to his. “When did you get here? I didn’t hear the door at all.”

“You didn’t hear the door because you were too busy trying to make an indentation of your skull on the counter,” Ace replied and looked at Sanji again “Whatever you’ve done must be bad if you’re willing to slam your head that hard.”

Sanji looked despondently at the counter again and said, disheartened, “I agreed to go to my parents for the holidays.”

Ace was alarmed at the revelation and gawked at Sanji. “Are you serious?”

At that moment, Bartholomew entered with Cavendish and the two separated with Bartholomew heading to where Sanji and Ace sat and Cavendish going to set up the tables.

Ace quickly ordered a drink and repeated his earlier question. “Are you being serious, Sanji? You know how bad it is there! Why would you go back to that?”

Sanji, frustrated, ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know! Reiju pleaded with me to come and not leave her there alone and I couldn’t refuse! You _know_ I can’t refuse Reiju.”

Ace mumbled, “I told you your weaknesses for women would come back to bite you, one day.”

Sanji leveled a glare at Ace. “Is this really the right time to be lecturing me for my infatuation towards the opposite sex?”

Ace scoffed. “Of course it is! You’re about to go back to the one place you hate because Reiju asked you to!”

Sanji countered, “I can’t leave her there alone, Ace. You know how horrible they can be!”

Ace sighed and gratefully took the drink Bartholomew laid out for him, and quickly poured it back. He savored the burning feeling as the alcohol passed through his trachea and down into his stomach, the feeling immediately warming him up in the cold December weather.

“So…” Ace began and signaled for another drink. “What are you going to do?”

Sanji exhaled heavily and slammed his head back down. Ace could vaguely see a small dip in the counter each time Sanji slammed his head down like that but he said nothing and sipped at his drink. “I don’t know. That’s why I called you. I was hoping you would have the answer to my problems, like usual.”

“Usually, your problems are what to wear, or what to do when you “accidentally” make too much food. Not what to do when you have to spend a week with your crazy, psychotic, and incredibly homophobic family.”

“What’s with the quotes? It’s usually an accident!” 

Ace said, voice bleak and deadpan, “No one can make seven full cakes by accident, Sanji. That’s just impossible.”

Sanji faltered and turned his head to the side, his earring following behind with the movement and clinking against the wooden counter. “You’re not helping me, you know.”

Ace rolled his eyes and popped another shot back. Just as he was about to respond, the door dinged open and three customers Sanji had never seen before walked in.

One was a tall, dark-skinned slender man in simple casual clothing. The second one was a woman with long tangerine-colored hair that reached just past her waist and was dressed in simple blue jeans and a white top with a blue coat that simultaneously showed off her long legs but made her look petite and cute. The last man was the largest of the group and had the largest muscle mass Sanji had ever seen. He was dressed casually, just like his companions, and had on a simple pair of black jeans with a tan color shirt but his hair had to be the most interesting part about him; It was a peculiar blend between fern and emerald and was short, barely two inches high, and was spiked up.

The group appeared to be arguing, or rather, the green man and the lovely woman were caught up in an argument while the other man seemed like he couldn’t even be bothered. The dark-haired man came up to the bar counter and ordered a Vermouth cocktail. The two seemed to still be caught up in their argument until the dark-haired man turned to them.

“I’m not going to buy you a drink if you two keep arguing like children, Zoro.” He appeared to be addressing the man and as if a switch was turned on, the man, Zoro, immediately ceased arguing and made his way to the bar.

The woman clicked her tongue but followed after and stood over to the side while Zoro ordered. 

Seeing a woman standing by the bar sparked a sense of chivalry in him and Sanji immediately left his seat and went to the woman, offering up the closest seat which was behind her.

“Hello, mademoiselle,” Sanji said smoothly and pulled the stool back far enough for the woman to sit. “Here, a woman of your beauty should not be standing when there are so many seats available.”

The woman turned to him, a bit startled by his presence but smoothed it over with an easy smile and up close, Sanji realized she was absolutely _stunning_.

“Oh my, thank you,” She said flirtily and sat on the offered chair. She turned to her friends that were still busy ordering a drink to bother looking at her or Sanji, “The service here is really special,” She glanced at Sanji and gave him a wink, “I like it,”

Sanji literally _swooned_.

“I’ll have the strongest drink you have!” The green-haired man bellowed and his vulgar behavior snapped Sanji out of his daze and he sent a menacing glare towards them both.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just as vulgar as he sounds.” The woman spoke and Sanji’s attention immediately went back to her. 

He rushed to say, “I don’t mind him at all!” He held out a hand and was gracious enough to be blessed with the feeling of the orange-haired woman’s palm in his. “And, if I may ask, mademoiselle, what is your name?”

The woman giggled and Sanji felt faint from the sound. 

“It’s Nami, and you are…?” Nami prompted with a cocked eyebrow.

“Sanji,” He grasped Nami’s hand in his again and placed a kiss on the top of her palm. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Nami.”

“Who the hell is this?” A man, the green-haired one, spoke up to Sanji’s right and his gaze shifted over to him, his face instantly contorting into a deep and mildly disturbed frown.

“I don’t know. He came here and began hitting on Nami,” The other one said and Sanji sent a disinterested look his way. He didn’t care much about what the slender man had to say but approved of his polite mannerism, however, his green friend had yet to be anything but rude and brash.

The green man gave Sanji an appraising look and the latter man almost bristled at the indifferent attitude he had after he was done. _Almost_.

“Sanji!” Ace called out to him and waved him over. Sanji turned back to Nami but not before sending both males a nasty look and said, “Alas,” He began dramatically, “I’m sorry, Nami, but I have to depart from you now,”

Nami took her hand back and rested it on her thigh. “No worries,” She glanced over at her two companions and added, “I think we’ll be here for quite a while.”

Sanji thanked whichever deity that was watching over him and bid Nami goodbye once more before heading over to Ace.

“Dude,” Ace began when Sanji had taken his seat. “Were you really going to hit on that woman the entire night?”

Sanji glanced at Ace and then back at Nami, “No, I just wanted to tell her she was beautiful. Women deserve to be complimented every day.”

Ace couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Sanji was still a ladies’ man. 

“Anyway, we need to find a way for you to not go to that place again, Sanji.” Ace said and slapped the younger man’s thigh to get his attention. “Are you even listening to me, you womanizer?”

Sanji nodded but his eyes were still fixated on the woman and her companions with whom she was currently engaged in a conversation. “I am…I am...”

Ace rolled his eyes again. “Did you come here to pick up girls or to get help with your problem, Sanji?” Ace’s words appeared harsh but he had a small smirk on his lips that grew even wider when he took in Sanji’s oddly beautified appearance. “Is that why you dressed up so prettily today? You even wore the earrings.”

Ace’s hand brushing against the metallic chain brought Sanji back to the present time and he leaned back, far out of Ace’s reach, one hand cradled protectively to his ear. 

“Shut up!” Sanji squawked and Ace laughed. “What’s the problem?” Ace leaned closer to Sanji so it now looked like Sanji was bent, nearly in half, behind his stool in a desperate attempt to escape his best friend while the best friend continued leaning down, a lecherous glint in his black eyes. 

Ace leaned lower suddenly until his and Sanji’s face was a hairbreadth away and whispered, “I think you look rather sexy with it,” Ace pushed it a little bit further and brushed his hand over Sanji’s ear and tugging slightly on the chain which sent involuntary shivers down Sanji’s body. 

Ace smirked and pulled away and sat on his seat again. He took a gulp of his drink and said, the smirk still present on his features. “You’re still so easy to toy with, Sanji.” 

Sanji regained his composure and smacked the older man on the arm in retaliation, ignoring the chuckle that followed. Sanji fixed his perfectly pristine suit and tried hard to act like his heart wasn’t beating at an abnormally fast pace. He coughed and said, immediately changing the subject. “Anyway, I don’t think there’s any way to escape going there for the holidays. Plus, I already made a promise to Reiju. I can’t leave her there.”

Ace sighed for the umpteenth time. “One day, your devotion to women will be the end of you, Sanji.”

Sanji sneered at Ace but kept quiet. After all, it was the truth.

* * *

“So,” Nami looks at her friends questioningly, “What are your plans for the Christmas holidays?”

Law shrugged and took a sip of his cocktail. “ ‘Gonna stay here with Kid, like last year.”

Nami nods, she had expected that much and turned to her oldest friend, her eyebrow raised expectantly when he didn’t answer and ignored her, favoring his drink and avoiding any eye contact with the redhead.

“I’m talking to you, you idiot!” Nami snapped and kicked Zoro’s shin under the table, relishing in the sudden yelp of pain from the larger man. Law shook his head at the two adult’s antics and took a gulp from his drink, it was bound to be another long night with these two if, barely an hour in, two arguments and one semi-physical brawl had started.

“I know, you witch. Jesus...” Zoro reached down and rubbed at his sore shin. “What are your shoes made of? Steel?”

Nami smiled, but it was wholly devoid of any teeth, completely unlike her usual toothy grins, which made the sight just that much more alarming. “Answer the question, Zoro.” She said, her voice contrastingly light and airy.

“I’ll be upstate with Vivi. Law is going to be spending time with Kid, but what about you, Zoro? What will you be doing during this holiday week?” 

Zoro sneered at Nami and stopped rubbing his shin. He took another gulp of his own drink and silently called down the waiter for a refill before answering. “I don’t know,” Zoro grumbled, “Probably ‘gonna spend it in the apartment like last year and drink some booze.”

Nami rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. “Not again, Zoro!” She turned to Law for backup. “Tell him, Law! He can’t spend another holiday in that dark, depressing apartment by himself again! He’ll turn into actual moss!”

Zoro growled at the deliberate jab to his peculiar hair color but did nothing. Law snorted slightly at the insult but only shrugged in response, lifting his hands up in his traditional _‘nothing I can do about it’_ pose. “It’s his choice if he wants to evolve into a green flowerless plant, Nami-ya.”

Zoro smiled humorlessly at them both and took another gulp.

Nami huffed and turned away from Law. She should have known the dark-haired man would never pick her side in an argument between the two of them. She looked at Zoro and kicked him again, this time, harder.

Zoro yelped again and glared at Nami, “Ow! What the hell was that one for?”

“You can’t stay here alone during the holidays!” Nami exclaimed and tried to kick him again but Zoro moved faster and avoided the hit, lifting his leg high and almost crossing his leg over his other one.

“I can! I’ve been doing it for the past five years!” Zoro countered and added, “And besides, you’ve never cared about me spending the Christmas holidays alone! What’s the issue with it now?”

Nami groaned irritation, and annoyance rising inside her as the bickering continued between her and Zoro. “I have always cared, you idiot!” She shook her head, thin orange strands dancing a step behind each shake of her head. “I swear, you have the memory of a goldfish...” She muttered but Zoro heard and bared his teeth at her.

“That is true, Zoro-ya.” Law joined and Zoro turned to him. The older man had a faint blush on his cheeks, barely noticeable under the dim light of the club and the dark, mocha skin the mad had. Zoro snorted slightly. _Fucking lightweight_.

“So,” Zoro turned to Nami and cocked a brow. “What do you want me to do about it? I can’t exactly pack up and book it back home, now can I?” 

Nami winced and silently agreed. Zoro’s home was by no means perfect and had its own fair share of problems, one of them being his father whom, to Nami’s knowledge, Zoro hadn’t spoken to or seen for nearly one and a half decades. 

“And, before you even think about it, Nami, I will not join you,” He looked at Law. “or you, on your disgusting, romantic excursions.”

The waiter came over with a bottle of rum and tried refilling Zoro’s drink but when he tried to leave, Zoro motioned for him to leave the bottle there before he went and as soon as the man’s back was turned, Zoro swiped the bottle and took a heavy swig of alcohol, ignoring Law’s wince of disgust at the no doubt unsanitary methods Zoro adopted, more often than not.

Nami soon began into another one of her tirades about Christmas and how important it was for him to spend it with family, friends, or at least people who cared about him. Zoro countered her declaration by stating that the only people who cared about him and would bother spending more time together than needed were in front of him to which Nami sent a pitiful look his way and Law continued to finish his first glass of alcohol, still wholly bent on ignoring the two.

Nami continued the tirade with a lot of crap about holiday cheer that Zoro really couldn’t be bothered to listen to. The two men zoned Nami out as she continued her tirade, Zoro preferring to focus on the bottle of rum he now held while Law drunk himself way past a light buzz and into the realms of almost tipsy with one glass.

Nami’s rant was abruptly cut short, but neither man noticed, or if they did, they hid it very well. She turned and looked behind her towards the bar where the man from before was. He appeared to be stressed judging from the way his entire body slouched, defeated and his head rested in his palms, forehead pressing into the surprisingly soft palms. Nami didn’t really care much for his well being as that wasn’t the reason she had turned his way. Not entirely anyway.

Nami, almost as abruptly as she’d stopped talking, stood up and walked over to the man and his dark-haired companion, stopping just a foot behind him, she reached out and tapped his shoulder twice and waited.

Sanji turned when he felt someone tapping him and was bewildered to see the woman from before standing there, a small and polite smile on her beautifully painted lips.

She smiled even wider and nodded once to Ace and turned back to Sanji. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but overhear your little...problem.”

Sanji, once he got past the shock of seeing her, tilted his head, a little bit confused. “What problem?”

“I believe I heard you have a slight issue with your holiday plans?” Nami said slowly, waiting for Sanji to catch on. “I am almost certain I heard you were trying to find a way to escape going somewhere for the holidays...?”

The confusion on Sanji’s face morphed into a curious mix of wonder and confusion, not because he didn’t understand what Nami was asking, but he didn’t understand why she was asking. However, as Ace had said a minute ago, his devotion to women would be his downfall as with one hair flip and a quick flick of her tongue, Sanji immediately began spilling the beans.

“Yes, I have to go back to my...family's house for the holidays but I don’t want to.” Sanji began, slightly hesitating when he had to say the word family. Family wasn’t what those people were to him. He couldn’t deny that he was born, bred, and raised there but that was as much of a familial tie Sanji was willing to accept he shared with them. “But, I promised my elder sister I would come, so I have no other choice but to go.”

Nami listened intently the entire time, not missing out on the slight sneer that Sanji had when he mentioned his family. She nodded when he was done and began contemplating a lot of things at once. She appeared to have reached a solution because she turned to Sanji and flashed a quick and bright smile (Sanji definitely swooned) and said the last thing neither he nor Ace were ever expecting to hear.

“Well then, Sanji. How would you feel about taking my dear best friend,” She looked back at her table, the two men now deeply engrossed in a conversation and back at Sanji, “along with you?”


	4. It's an Agreement!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!! this is only the first part bc it was getting long and i decided to cut it short and split it into two parts so this is the first half and the second half will be up when it's done. also: if it wasn't obvious already, they are about to begin "dating" very soon!!!

If Sanji’s eyes hadn’t bulged out when he first saw Nami standing behind him, they definitely did now. He stared at her, mouth agape in shock. “W-what?” Sanji stuttered, his mind struggling to comprehend what Nami had just said.

Nami huffed impatiently and repeated herself. “I said, how do you feel about going out with my moss haired friend over there?”

Sanji simply gawked at her. He thought maybe he had heard wrong  _ again _ , or maybe his mind was just playing tricks on him so he turned to Ace, but the man appeared to be in the same state of shock as he was. 

Unable to leave a woman waiting, Sanji hastily gathered himself and stuttered out, “I’m sorry, Nami, but I’m not into men like that...”

Nami rolled her eyes and reached out for Sanji’s arm, ignoring the look of glee that passed through the blonde’s visible eye and dragged him up and off his chair and towards the two men from the counter earlier, Ace following closely behind the two.

Nami swiped an extra chair on the way there and placed it in between Zoro and Law, sitting at the opposite sides of the table, and forcibly sat the man down. Law and Zoro looked up from their conversation, startled to find two strange men near them with one sitting just beside them and the other one standing off to the side, his gaze trained on each one of them. They turned their gazes to Nami -who took up her previous seat- with obvious questions in their eyes.

“This is Sanji,” Nami began and pointed to the man in front of her. “Sanji, this is Law,” She pointed to her right, “And this is Zoro, the one I was talking to you about,” She said and pointed to her left, ignoring the displeased look on Zoro’s face. He was  _ clearly  _ not happy about having two random strangers join them and made  _ sure  _ to share that with Nami.

“Who the hell are these?” Zoro asked gruffly and Nami haughtily shrugged her shoulders. “This better not be one of those idiots who like hitting on you, Nami. I swear...”

Nami ignored Zoro’s empty threat and turned to Sanji. “Now, Sanji, what do you think of my proposal?”

Sanji, still baffled from the supposed ‘offer’ and being suddenly dragged to another table -filled with men, no less- against his will, kept silent and tried to process the sudden change of events. 

Nami, oblivious to Sanji’s inner turmoil continued, “I know he’s a bit rough and grouchy around the edges, sort of like a wild animal, you know? He’s kinda like a gorilla, but that’s his charm. He’s a little rude and uncivilized, and crude but I promise you there is some charm to that… Somewhere...” Nami trailed off at the end as if she was trying to convince herself along with Sanji.

Zoro growled, annoyed by the continuous insults to his person and by the random men currently spoiling his drink. “Oi, Nami, I asked you a question. Who the hell are these two?”

Nami sighed and turned to Zoro, speaking slowly and emphasizing each word as if she were talking to a child. “This is Sanji, Zoro. Were you not listening?”

“I don’t give a fuck what his name is. Why are they here?” Zoro snarled

Nami rolled her eyes again and said, “You really don’t listen to anything I say.” She accentuated each word again, “He’s  _ your  _ Christmas special.”

Immediately, Zoro’s eyes snapped to the blonde the same time the blonde man’s gaze did, and as if they had practiced it pre-hand, two similar expressions of disgust crossed over their face simultaneously. 

“No fucking way!” Zoro exclaims at the same time Sanji says, “Nami, I told you I’m not into men like that...especially not one like this...”

“You bitch...” Zoro continues and turns to Nami. “I told you I was fine! Why do you always have to poke your nose in places where it’s not wanted?”

Sanji rounded on Zoro the second he processed what he’d just called Nami. “You bastard, don’t you dare call Nami a bitch!”

Zoro looked back to Sanji and scoffed, his expression mean and condescending. “What the hell does it matter to you what I call her? You don’t even know her.”

Sanji growled, “It doesn’t matter if I know her or not. No woman should ever be called a bitch!”

Zoro rolled his eyes, “You’re just some dick she picked up on the way here, what would you know?”

Sanji's entire body vibrated with anger. He couldn’t believe the nerve the man before him had! Sanji couldn’t understand how disrespectful he was to Nami and how he treated her in such a rude and vulgar manner. He had the gall, the  _ nerve _ , to insult her and call her names while -at least from what he gathered- she was only trying to look out for him!

Sanji, appalled, made sure the green-haired bastard knew how vexed he was with his attitude or lack thereof.

“You have to be the vilest, ill-mannered person I have  _ ever  _ had the displeasure of meeting.” Sanji spat out with all the contempt he could muster.

“You ain’t a walk in the fucking park either, curly brow,” Zoro snorted disdainfully and took a jab at one of the weird things he couldn’t help but notice the first time he looked at the blonde, back at the bar.

“What the fuck did you just call me?” Sanji snarled, his body tense and taught, like an arrow being pulled on a tight bowstring.

“You’re going deaf now? I thought your eyes were the ones that needed to be looked at, but I guess I was wrong.” Zoro said and turned his head to the side, his face scrunching up in mock-worry as if he were worried about Sanji’s wellbeing. 

This only served to rile the blonde man even further.

Nami, Ace, and Law watched this increasingly hostile conversation with mixed emotions. Nami was exasperated not only towards her friend but towards Sanji as well. After being subjected to the pettiness and childishness that was the enigma  _ ‘Zoro’ _ , Nami had -wrongly- assumed Sanji would be the more mature of the two and watching them argue over her  _ ‘honor’  _ did nothing but drive that fact home.

Law’s and Ace’s emotions conflicted in some sense and were similar in another sense. Law, having downed another glass, was already rather tipsy and watched the interaction with a sense of amusement. Ace too was amused by the concept of it all but he also had a sense of apprehension. He feared Sanji’s and Zoro’s ‘little’ argument would escalate and eventually become a full-on brawl. Ace wasn’t worried for Sanji after witnessing, first hand, how well the man could fight, but was instead worried for the people, and things around Sanji. Ace knew Sanji had a tendency to get wrapped up in things easily and most often than not, he’d get careless and something -or someone- would end up broken. And so, to avoid major destruction to his bar and restaurant slash cafe, Ace kept a keen eye on the blonde and silently took a step or two closer.

Nami took note of how riled up Sanji was getting and compared it to Zoro. While Zoro still had some semblance of control on his temper, Nami could see it was close to reaching its breaking point and knew she had to step in before she was a witness and or an indirect accomplice to  _ another  _ bar brawl.

“Alright, that’s quite enough,” Nami declared, and as if on cue, Sanji’s attention immediately diverted to her. Zoro rolled his eyes and muttered, “ _ lover boy _ ,” under his breath but they both heard him and ignored him.

Nami sighed and turned to Sanji, “If you’re going to get this riled up each time you talk to him, you won’t be able to last long near him.”

“But Nami, I don’t want to be anywhere near this green gorilla.” Sanji’s reply was more of a whine than anything, his tone, speech pattern, and body language drastically different from how it was a second ago. 

Nami sighed again and muttered despondently to herself, “Maybe this  _ was  _ a bad idea...”

Sanji was quick to interrupt, saying happily, “Of course not, Nami! Nothing you do or say could ever be a bad idea!” He startled everyone by abruptly pushing his chair back and standing up, hands extended out as he declared passionately, “Your brain is a magnificent, beautiful organ! I’m sure whatever you have inside there is a wonderful idea, created with plenty of love, time, and affection! I would be blessed if you would allow me the great pleasure of hearing it!” He finished his declaration with a small bow, his hands extended just far enough that Nami could reach out and touch them if she so wished.

Zoro’s face scrunched up again, but this time in disgust. “Does it feel good sucking up to people like that?”

Sanji’s happy and exalted mood took a drastic fall when Zoro spoke, shattering the illusion Sanji had concocted in his mind that neither man, he, or the dark-skinned one who had yet to say a word, ever existed.

“It’s called treating a woman with respect,” Sanji bit out, rigid, “But, I guess you have never heard of it being as rude as you are.”

“Hah?” Zoro replied and Nami was quick to jump in, having already experienced where this conversation was going. 

“Then, will you help me out with this, Sanji?” Nami turned to the blonde and he rose up from his pose and gave her a puzzled look. “Please?” She added, making sure to flutter her eyelashes slightly and quickly pull on the most convincing  _ ‘i’m sad and in despair _ ’ look she could.

The reaction was almost instantaneous. Sanji’s mood lifted and one could almost see giant pink hearts form in his eyeball as he clasped his hands together and furiously nodded, immediately agreeing with whatever it was that Nami was asking for.

“Then, please take this-,” She rested a hand on Zoro’s shoulder, “-green buffoon with you to your parents?”

The whole bar seemed to silence, but as the only patrons of the establishment, it was only that table that fell under a hush with a majority of the people there stunned into silence. Ace wasn’t too surprised with the request considering he’d heard it before, back at the bar, but the forwardness and shamelessness of it kind of took him aback. However, Law and Zoro hadn’t heard it in such blatant words before and were left flabbergasted by the request. The alcohol appeared to have been briefly stunned out of Law as his usual tense features slacked and his jaw popped open slightly, forming a small ‘o’ shape and his eyes were widened. Zoro’s expression mirrored Law’s but his jaw was wide open and his eyes bugged out. He had had a slight suspicion when Nami had first brought the two men over that it had something to do with him or it involved him in some way but suspecting something and having it confirmed in front of you were two very different things.

Sanji’s initial shock had worn-off slightly and he looked at Nami, his voice shaky as he stuttered over his words. “W-what? What did you s-say, Nami?”

Nami huffed, “This idiot here,” She smacked Zoro’s shoulder harshly, “has no plans for the holidays and I would feel bad leaving him here alone. Again. So, I’m asking you to go with him to your parent’s place.”

Zoro snapped out of his shock with the hit and hissed in pain. He sent a harsh glare towards the redhead, and muttered, “Don’t treat me like I’m a child that can’t take care of itself,”

Nami returned the glare with as much ferocity. “Maybe if you didn’t act like a child all the time, I wouldn’t have to treat you like a child.”

“So, what is he gonna be? My babysitter now?” Zoro retorted and scoffed and Nami smiled tightly.

“Yes. That is exactly what he will be.”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry?”

The two said simultaneously and Nami’s smile widened. “Well, I mean, you said you would do anything I wanted you to do for me, Sanji. Unless...that was a lie?” Nami pulled out the face from before and Zoro had to grudgingly admit that she was a good actress, although he would burn seven times over in the hottest pit of hell before he told her that.

And predictably enough, Sanji fell for it and immediately agreed to it... _ Again _ .

“Wait a second, just because he agreed to it, that doesn’t mean I have to.” Zoro began, knowing full well he couldn’t count on the blonde and was alone in this fight.

“Oh, but you will,” Nami said sweetly but her expression was everything but sweet. “You see...I seem to recall you have a hefty debt to me, yes? It should be well in the thousands by now and that’s without interest...”

Zoro’s face twitched. “You evil little...”

Nami’s smile widened again. “So, you see, dear Zoro, you will do this. You will go with Sanji who is gracious enough to take you along and you  _ will  _ be on your best behavior.”

Zoro and Sanji couldn’t say anything to counter that and silently bit their tongues. Fortunately, Law wasn’t blinded to Nami’s cause the way Sanji was and nor was he held down by his wallet the same way Zoro was and spoke up for the first time since the whole debacle began.

“As much as I enjoy your idea, Nami, I don’t think either one of them will be comfortable spending a week with a complete stranger.”

All four heads turned to Law. Nami hummed and took Law’s point into consideration. In hindsight, when she came up with the plan, Nami hadn’t factored either one of their feelings into the equation as she just wanted Zoro to not be alone during the holiday and Sanji’s plight had conveniently fallen into her lap. So, she couldn’t deny that Law’s point held some truth in it, and if the roles were reversed and she had to spend time with her parents with a complete stranger, it  _ would  _ make her very uncomfortable.

“Alright then. What should we do then?”

“Uhm?” Zoro tried, “How about you listen to the people’s lives you’re trying to control? That sounds like a good place to start.”

Nami ignored him and motioned for Law to continue. At this point, tired of standing by the side, Ace grabbed a chair from the table beside him and rested it on the right side of Sanji, just in between him and Zoro, a perfect place in case a showdown  _ did  _ begin.

“They could try a trial method,” Law said and all of their attention focused on him. “You know how in those applications you’re always trying to steal from?” He asked Nami and she nodded, motioning for him to continue, “They usually offer a trial period first right? Then how about the two of them try this idea of yours but on a trial period?”

“Yeah, but for how long?” Ace asked, suddenly going along with the plan.

Law shrugged. “It could be a week or less. Christmas is in what? Two weeks? There’s enough time between now and then for the two of them to get acquainted and see if Nami’s plan is worth trying out.”

Nami nodded, appearing to consider Law’s idea careful. “I like that. Alright,” She turned to Sanji and Zoro, “We’re gonna go with Law’s plan and do this on a trial period. The two of you have a week to get to know each other better and try this,” She waved her hand back and forth between the two of them, “and see if it works out.”

Zoro was in complete and utter disbelief. He had always known ever since he was a young child that Nami could be inflexible and had an iron will, almost as strong as his own, but not once in his life had he been forced to realize it as much as he was in those moments. Nami was a treasured person in Zoro’s life and to an extent, he was sort of grateful she was trying hard for his sake but Zoro couldn’t overlook how his opinion, or feelings weren’t being taken into consideration and had been ignored several times over.

“This is ridiculous,” Zoro muttered and tried standing up. He had tolerated Nami’s nonsense for a while, but even he had a breaking point and he was  _ well  _ past it.

Nami’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm, effectively stopping him from going any further. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Zoro was tempted to yank his arm out of her grip but held back. He wasn’t in a favorable mood towards her but that didn’t mean he intentionally wanted to hurt her. “Home. I’m tired of your bullshit, Nami. I’m not going to sit here while you decide how I spend my holidays, or whether or not I’m alone. I’m not some sort of machine you can disassemble and reassemble when you feel like it.”

He looked at Sanji and added, “You too. Don’t just sit there and let her decide everything for you. You aren’t a kid.”

Zoro pulled his hand out of Nami’s grip and began walking away. Nami was tempted to call out to him or do something to ensure he stayed but a hand on her wrist prevented her from doing so. She glanced at the hand and realized it was Law. He shook his head gently, indicating for her to let him go. Nami bit her lip but did as Law advised and let Zoro walk out of the bar.

Sanji (although he would never admit it) snapped out of it after Zoro spoke to him. He looked at Nami and said, his senses finally coming back to him despite every chivalrous bone in his body crying out for him to stop.

“I’m sorry, Nami. I don’t think I can do this, after all.” Sanji said and bowed a little. “I’m really sorry. I know I promised I would do anything you ask, but I can’t do this. I just can’t be around a complete stranger for that long.”

Law nodded understandingly and once again stopped Nami before she could say anything. Sanji bowed once more to the two of them and walked away and out of the bar. Ace lingered for a while to talk a bit more with the two before following Sanji out, leaving Law and Nami there to deal with everything else.

* * *

Law and Nami left the bar soon after everyone else had gone and to their mutual surprise, they found Zoro still there. He stood a couple of feet away from where they were and appeared to be looking for something. Nami sighed, already exasperated and tired from the night’s events, and called out to him, the loud sound in the near-deserted streets immediately pinpointing where she was to Zoro.

Zoro made his way over and was unusually silent. Nami wanted to poke and ask why he was acting so out of character, but Law was faster and motioned for Nami to call down a cab for them. None of them were fit to drive as they had all had some form of alcohol in the bar with Nami having the least and Zoro drinking the most. Law didn’t trust Nami’s driving skills enough to leave the driving to her, fearing the horrendous state of his car later so calling for a cab was their last option.

She did so, albeit with a bit of grumbling, and after a few minutes on the phone, a medium-sized white Volkswagen pulled up just outside of the bar. Zoro was the first to enter the car and went straight for the shotgun seat, leaving Nami and Law to pile together at the back.

Nami gave the instructions for Law’s and Zoro’s place and the driver drove off in that direction. They reached Law and Zoro’s apartment complex in a matter of minutes and Nami left Law in Zoro’s hands with a promise of increasing his debt to her since she was handling the taxi fare. Zoro barely reacted except for a grunt in her direction and began his ascension up the stairs with Law loosely draped over his shoulder.

Zoro went up the steps to their apartment and shifted Law’s weight to one side to pick out the keys and unlock the door, kickin’ it shut with his heel once they had both entered. Zoro moved forward and glanced at the couch. He considered dropping Law off on the couch and heading to his own room but had a feeling the result of doing so wouldn’t be so pleasant. Zoro knew Law tended to be an ass about a number of things, and this would, undoubtedly, be one of them. 

Zoro hiked Law higher on his shoulder and dragged the older man over to his bedroom. Zoro kicked the door open, similarly to how he’d done for the front door and carelessly flung the slender man onto the bed. Law slept on his front, stomach pressed against the soft covers and knees hanging off the side of the bed. His cheek was turned to the side and his hands rested on top of the covers, palms pressed down.

Zoro huffed and took a second to stretch his back out; for someone so skinny, Law was surprisingly heavy. Zoro walked out of Law’s room and shut the door, taking care to close it as softly as he could before going into his own room and hastily throwing off his shoes and clothes before flinging himself onto the bed.

Zoro assumed Law’s current position for a moment before rolling over to his side and then over to his back, arms spread out in an eagle position. Zoro was tired. He knew that, and his body understood that as well, but he was still unable to fall asleep despite the exhaustion coursing through his system. His mind kept running a mile a minute and kept going back to the time in the bar when Nami brought up her absurd suggestion.

Zoro didn’t linger on anything Nami said, he already expected most of what she had said to be unreasonable and unbelievably  _ Nami-like _ . His interest laid elsewhere. Specifically, in the aggravating blonde man with the nasty attitude and weirdly, curvy eyebrows.

At that time, Zoro had been rather annoyed by Nami and the whole situation to really take a proper look at the blonde but when he recalled their first meeting at the bar counter, Zoro had to admit, despite the horrid attitude, the blonde was rather hot.

Zoro took time to re-create the blonde’s image in his head and was unreasonably pleased with what he made. The long blonde hair that looked unbearably soft and silky, like golden water running down a fountain, and the gorgeous cerulean blue eyes that came with long black eyelashes, accentuating the bright hues in the azure-colored irises. Zoro also recreated the silver earrings the man had worn for the night and ignored the tightening in his nether regions as his mind drifted to a more sensual direction.

Zoro’s fantasy wouldn’t be complete without the man’s unreasonably long legs. Zoro found it unfair that the man was not only attractive appearance-wise but also physically. The long legs seemed to be endless and to make it worse, they were clad in a fitting pair of suit trousers, that just seemed to accentuate how firm and strong they looked. Zoro was sure he could dedicate a few more synonyms to describe how sinfully gorgeous the blonde man looked when he first met him but the tightening in his boxers was becoming uncomfortable, so he decided to call it a day and forcibly put himself to sleep, thoughts of Sanji running amuck in his brain even whilst he slept.

* * *

Sanji went home soon after he left the bar. He usually stayed till the closing time in the early morning but he felt it was impossible for him to go back inside and sit there with Ace. He didn’t know if Nami and her friend were still inside, and if they were, Sanji had no guarantee that he wouldn’t fall for her whims again if she were to try and persuade him again. 

So, to avoid ending up in a potentially volatile situation, Sanji did what he thought best and went back home. He sent a text to Ace when he arrived at his apartment and informed him that he was safe at home, and apologized for leaving him there.  Ace replied soon enough and reassured Sanji it was okay, and that he was on the way home as well. He also promised to talk to the man when he had calmed down and wished him goodnight.

Sanji took a moment after talking to Ace to call up the store and inform them that he wasn’t feeling too well and wasn’t going to be returning to the store. Sanji left the locking up to them and reminded them to leave the key under the fake patch of grass resting near the entrance. The fellow blonde man, Cavendish agreed and hung up the phone after, leaving Sanji, all silent and alone, in his apartment.

Sanji went to his room and took out the earrings in his ear and went to the shower for a quick rinse off. He tossed his dirty clothes in the growing hamper and exited the bath and went to bed. Sanji put his phone on silent and placed it on the bedside table. He knew someone could end up calling him and in his sleepy state, chances of him hearing it, let alone answering it, were few and none in between but he needed to sleep. Sanji childishly wished if he slept long enough, all of the problems with his family, and his sister and Christmas, would simply fade away and cease to exist but he knew it was a pipe dream.

Sanji chuckled scorningly at himself,  _ ‘The last time I thought of something like this was when I was still under that man’s care _ ,’ He really hadn’t grown up a bit if he was still dreaming of sleeping away his problems, the same way he would when he was a young child, barely three feet tall.

Sanji shook his head before any self-deprecating thoughts could form and like the green-haired man, he too forced himself to sleep before his thoughts manifested a brain of their own and went too far. After a few minutes sitting in bed, Sanji felt his mind and body get lured under the temptation of slumber and he slowly shut his eyes, closing himself off from the rest of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me if there are any grammar mistakes, or if something is weird with the story, i'd really appreciate it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami smiled. "Too bad. You're not spending another holiday cooped up in that apartment." Nami saw Zoro's mouth open, obviously about to refute Nami's statement and cut in before he could speak, "And no, going to the dojo doesn't count."
> 
> Zoro opened his mouth again.
> 
> "And neither does going to the gym."
> 
> He tried again. "B-"
> 
> "And neither does riding your bike, or going to visit Kid, or any of the things you do all-year-round." Nami casually flicked her hair again and observed her nails. "You're gonna go with Sanji to his family, and that's the end of it, Zoro."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyaa i know its been over a month since i last updated but this chapter's are by far the longest i have ever written and it takes a while to encompass everything together but i am still trying to write it because it's my first ever fake dating story and i really like the concept of it all. also, warning for homophobic language at the end and also the use of a homophobic slur, please be warned.

The next day found Law waking up with the nastiest hungover he’d ever had. He groaned in pain and raised a hand up to rub his head, groaning louder when he felt how sore and stiff his joints were with the slightest movements. Law couldn’t remember the last time he’d drunk himself to a _pounding_ headache. The closest memory dating back to when he was still in college and was studying medicine.

Law rolled over to his side despite each part of his body crying out in pain and eventually made it up into a sitting position. Law groaned once more and forced himself to stand. He gingerly made his way out of the room and into the bathroom, taking some extra time to wash out his face and scrub out the foul morning breath and post-alcohol taste from his mouth. 

Law emerged from the bathroom feeling significantly better and walked towards the kitchen. He needed a glass of water, or three, before he could begin functioning like a normal human being. Law stumbled into the kitchen, grasping at the counter and fridge for support as he tried recalling where the glasses were usually stored in. He fumbled through one of the cabinets with squinted eyes and found a glass in the third cabinet to his right.

Law took it out and went to the sink. As a doctor, he knew how unsanitary drinking water from the sink was not to mention the number of germs that could possibly be ingested by drinking unboiled, unfiltered water but at that moment, Law _really really_ couldn’t find any fucks to give.

Law chugged the water down and let out a relieved sound when he was done. He placed the glass in the sink and hobbled over to the couch. He plopped down on his side and winced in pain when his head bobbed down and up from the movement. Law curled into his side and fell into a sort of uncomfortable sleep. Being asleep was undoubtedly better than being awake, but Law found it hard to sleep and spent most of his time, tossing and turning. He was just about to sleep when he was interrupted by the loud creaking sound of his roommate's door opening.

Zoro yawned loudly and lazily scratched at his green happy trail. He paused and reached his hands high and tilted his back slightly as he attempted to stretch out his body. He walked out of his room and went to the living room, a bit surprised to find Law on the couch, knees curled into his chest, and a grimace present on his face. Law's expression was normally pinched as if he'd bitten into a particularly bitter lemon, but it looked different now.

Zoro chuckled and asked, intentionally raising his voice higher than it needed to be. “Hungover that bad?”

Law winced and curled into himself even more. “Not so loud, Zoro-ya.”

Zoro couldn’t help but laugh, again, infuriatingly loud, and went into the kitchen. He was starving. “Didn’t you drink those nasty pills you always make me drink when I get hungover?” Zoro (unnecessarily) shouted from the kitchen, laughing under his breath again when he heard Law groan. 

“I can’t find them...” Law replied, his voice barely a note above a whisper.

“What?” Zoro asked and poked his head out of the kitchen. “I didn’t hear that.”

“I said, I can’t find them...” Law replied a little louder and grimaced again when the sound resonated a million times louder in his head.

“Oh...” Zoro thought about it for a moment, “I think they might be in my room.” 

Law didn’t reply so Zoro added, “Want me to get them for you?”

Law nodded once, the action enough to warrant yet another wince of pain. Zoro couldn’t hold back another chuckle, the sight of the proud, confident, and all-knowing Doctor Trafalgar Law wincing with each word he said was _very_ amusing to Zoro- and went into his room for the small white bottle filled with painkillers. He found it on the side of his bed and grabbed it before heading out and popping three small blue pills onto his palm. 

Zoro went over to Law and took out one of his hands from underneath him. Zoro poured the three pills into Law’s palm and watched as the man drew his hand back and popped all three pills into his mouth and swallowed them dry.

Zoro couldn't help but grimace in disgust. He’s never understood how -or why- Law could take pills dry, especially the disgusting aqua-blue painkillers. He sends another look of disgust to the smaller man but his eyes are closed again and half his face is pressing into the couch. Zoro gets up and goes back into the kitchen, tossing the white bottle onto the counter as he passes, quickly resuming his mission of finding some food before his stomach began digesting itself. 

Law managed to sleep again while Zoro made his breakfast, the experience significantly better after taking the painkillers. Law woke up again when he smelt, rather than heard Zoro eating. Law’s stomach churned horribly, all the exotic spices mixing wonderfully in what would have been an appetizing meal but now just served as a hurl-inducer. Law barely managed to slap a hand over his mouth, effectively stopping the bitter vomit before it could pour all over the couch and carpet.

Law shot up and ran into the bathroom, throwing up the seat before sinking down to his knees and retching into the toilet bowl. Law vomits everything in his stomach until nothing but clear frothy saliva is left dripping from his lips. Law gathers enough strength to stand up and reaches for the handle, flushing away all traces of vomit and spit away before turning to the sink. 

Law observes his expression in the mirror and glares hatefully at it. He had bags the size of a wealthy continent and while that wasn't anything different from the usual, he felt like they were heavily pronounced now. Law could see how sunken his eyes had become and his face seemed to have lost even more of its usual lackluster energy which made him look at least four times worse than he actually felt. Law ignored the reflection for now and bent down to the sink and washes off his hands before gathering some water in cupped palms and rinsing out his mouth. Law did that a few more times until the taste of bile was thoroughly washed out and rinsed his hands before turning off the tap. He took his towel from behind the door and dried his hands and mouth before dragging himself to the living room.

Thankfully, Zoro had already finished eating and the smell of food was considerably weaker. Law sat down on the couch and lowered his body until his entire body was lying on the couch. The headache from before had lessened enough for Law to not contemplate suicide and in a twisted way, the vomiting actually made him feel better.

Zoro appeared from the kitchen, this time dressed in a pair of dark blue sweatpants with a random boat logo on the left thigh. He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw Law. “You really are a lightweight, you know.”

Law turned his head up and glared at Zoro. This only made Zoro laugh more.

“How much did you even drink? One glass? Two?”

“Shut up,” Law retorted, “Not everyone is born with a dam for a liver, like you.”

Zoro chortled. “It was just one glass, Law! That’s even weaker than Carrot!”

Law sent a harsher glare. “For your information, it was actually two glasses.”

Zoro sent Law an incredulous look, a laugh lingering on his lips. “Oh yeah, one extra glass is definitely a huge difference.” “What did you even drink? Wine? Cocktail?”

“It was a cocktail.” Law grudgingly admitted and his reply sent Zoro into another round of laughter.

“You’re such a lightweight. I can’t believe you have a hungover from two cocktails.” Zoro managed when he stopped laughing.

“Again,” Law bit out, through gritted teeth, “Not everyone has your inhumane tolerance.”

“Nami does,” Zoro retorted and Law glared at Zoro again. “Okay, okay,” Zoro raised his hands up and teased, “I’ll leave you and your baby liver alone.”

Zoro was about to walk away and go back into his room for a presumably long nap when Law spoke again. “Wait. I need a favor from you.”

Zoro turned to Law, an eyebrow raised. “What favor?”

“Could you go and get my car from the bar we went to last night?”

Zoro paused for a second and thought back to last night. He remembered he, Nami, and Law had arrived at the bar with Law’s car but they had returned with a taxi since none of them could drive while under the influence. A scowl soon formed on his face as the previous night’s events slowly flooded his memory.

“No way,” Zoro said and turned again, about to go into his room for the second time. “Get Nami to do it.”

“I can’t, Zoro-ya. You know she doesn’t have a driver’s license yet.” Law managed out after a short pause. “You’re the only person I can ask.”

“No, I’m not,” Zoro countered, “There’s Nami or Kid, ask one of them to do it.”

“I can’t ask Kid. He doesn’t even know where we were yesterday, how could he get the car back?”

“There’s this app in phones called 'Maps'. Tell him to use it.” Zoro said and turned again. Law kept quiet and Zoro began walking. He was halfway to his room when Law finally replied.

“I’ll pay your half of the rent this month.” 

Zoro swiveled on his heel and looked at Law, the incredulous look back on his face. He searched Law’s face for any signs of deceit but the man was as unreadable as ever, his face blank and impassive. 

“You’d really pay my half of the rent if I just go and get your car back?” Zoro asked after a moment. The incredulity of Law’s declaration had faded and was now replaced with suspicion. 

Law nodded once. “Yes, I will, Zoro-ya.”

However, Zoro’s suspicion didn’t let up. “Why can’t you do it?”

Law sent a deadpan look in Zoro’s direction.

Zoro rolled his eyes, “Obviously not now, but later. When you don’t look like you’re about to die.”

Law replied, “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to drive by then. And I’d like my car back as soon as possible, I don’t know if the bar has restrictions against cars that have stayed overnight.”

Zoro could sort of see Law’s point. There weren’t many clubs or bars that allowed overnight cars for yet another night. Zoro had even heard on one of his drinking escapades how a couple of bars would have a twelve-hour parking limit for their customers but would send the car to the impound if the owner didn’t come back for the vehicle. Law must have been trying to avoid that, then. 

Zoro didn't really believe a couple of dollars were that much on an inconvenience to Law that he would rather pay Zoro's half of the rent just to get the car back instead of just waiting a few more hours and heading out but having half of the rent paid for was something Zoro wasn't going to pass upon. 

Zoro observed Law for another moment before he sighed heavily and nodded. “Fine, I’ll go and get it. But you're going to owe me for this.”

“I think paying your share of the rent counts as enough, Zoro-ya.” Law mumbled out and winced in pain when his head began throbbing again.

“I’m adding this onto that,” Zoro replied and finally went into his room. He exited soon enough in only a pair of boxers and went into the bathroom. He took a quick shower and changed out of his boxers and into a pair of black jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt that just passed his waist and a mocha jacket. Zoro took his helmet from the side of his room and exited his bedroom. He went into the living room and found Law sitting up and on his phone. Zoro noticed the white bottle filled with painkillers sitting off to the side and assumed the man had taken another pill to ease the pain in his head.

“I’m going now,” Zoro said and went over to the door. “I’ll see ya when I get back.”

* * *

Law nodded once, barely acknowledging Zoro’s presence, and with another pat down to confirm if he had what he needed, Zoro exited the house and went down to the parking lot where his bike was. He was about to climb on and drive uptown to where he knew the bar was but a ringing sound prevented him from doing so. Zoro dug around in his pants pockets and pulled out his phone. He saw who was calling him and briefly considered ignoring it but knew it would only make things worse when they met. Zoro exhaled heavily and slid his thumb to the right, raising his hand up to his ear, he said, “What?”

“Is that really how you answer your calls? No wonder you have no friends.” Nami chastised and Zoro couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“I only talk like this to you, Nami.” Zoro replied, “What do you want? I’m about to go out.”

“I know.” A loud sound sounded from Nami’s side and Zoro winced slightly. “Law told me.”

“Why is Law telling you about me going out?” Zoro asked, confused.

“Because,” Nami began, “I’m going with you.”

It was silent for a moment or so. 

“Why?” Zoro asked, even more confused.

Nami sighed and said as if Zoro was stupid, “Because you have a horrible sense of direction. Do you even know where the bar is? Which part of the uptown is it at? Do you remember what the bar looks like on the outside? Or what its name is?”

Zoro kept silent. That was enough of an answer.

“I’ll meet you at the left entrance of the subway,” Nami added and was about to hang up when Zoro cut in.

“Wait. At the subway?” Zoro asked, “I can’t. I came out with my helmet.”

“Then, go back inside and put it away,” Nami said slowly like she was talking to a child.

Zoro clicked his tongue, annoyed. “Can’t we just meet up instead? I don’t feel like going back up there.”

Nami rolled her eyes, exasperated. “Then come with it, if it bothers you that much. We can’t meet up because your sense of direction is worse than a blind, old man.” Nami added, “Knowing you, you would end up in the next state and complain that the country is changing locations every time. And also, how will you ride your back?”

It was Zoro’s turn to roll his eyes. “You’re being dramatic." Zoro didn't answer the last question, but Nami already knew what his answer was going to be.

“Says the idiot that can’t even tell left from right,” Nami bit back and Zoro’s lips pulled back in a sneer. “Anyway, I’m not going to spend my Sunday trying to find you on another continent. Either you meet me at the subway, or you go back and explain to Law why you aren’t even going to do this one simple thing for him after getting him drunk.”

Zoro tried to say that he wasn’t the reason Law got piss-drunk last night, and he’s the one that actually offered but Nami had already hung up and left him to his choice. Zoro thought it over for a minute or so, and let out a small growl. He turned on his heel and went back up the stairs and into their apartment. Zoro ignored Law’s surprised look and flung his helmet on the couch before turning and exiting. He went down the stairs and made his way to the subway, his mood drastically different from how it was in the beginning.

* * *

“Are you sure this is the place?” Zoro asked and looked up at the building’s sign name. He saw no point in trying to recognize the name because he hadn’t really bothered looking the last time he was here and looked away.

Nami nodded and glanced at Zoro. “Pretty sure. Unlike you, I actually looked the place up before we got here.” 

Zoro curled his upper lip and bared his front row of teeth at her. Nami ignored him and looked back at the building, Zoro eventually following her lead as his gaze turned back and upwards at the building. It was a rather large building with two separate floors. The first floor had a large semi-translucent door on the outside that one could look into with some difficulty. The first floor appeared to be some sort of restaurant or cafe with a medium-sized display case to the left of the entrance and the seats were towards the right. Zoro could also see the vague outline of the kitchen but because the lights weren’t fully turned on, it was hard to see how the kitchen really looked. There was a small staircase to the far left of the store that Zoro remembered led upstairs to the bar he, Law, and Nami were at the previous day.

“This place is weird,” Zoro announced after observing and Nami looked around as well before nodding. “Yeah, it is.”

“Why is there a bar in a coffee shop?” Zoro asked and Nami glanced up at the top floor, casually observing the exterior of the place. 

“I don’t know.” Nami said with a shrug, “I guess he wanted more money? I mean I could see why…” Nami trailed off and began mumbling to herself. Zoro occasionally caught the words “profit” and “revenue” and chalked it up to another one of Nami’s money rants.

Zoro rolled his eyes and took a step forward. He got to the door and tried opening the door but his hand was quickly slapped off by Nami’s, seemingly out of her money-induced trance already.

“What the hell are you doing?” Nami hissed and forcibly pulled his hand away from the doorknob. 

“I’m trying to open the door.” Zoro said as if it were obvious, “What the hell does it look like I’m doing?” 

“Like you’re breaking and entering!!” Nami argued and pushed the larger man back, forcing him to take one step backward to maintain his balance and not stupidly sprawl over the steps. “The lights are not even on! Why the hell would you try to enter without knocking?”

“What are you talking about, can't you see the lights on in the back? Obviously someone is inside if the lights are on…That means I can go in.” Zoro replied slowly and Nami genuinely entertained the thought of throwing a shoe at him. Or a brick. Maybe both...

Nami shook her head, exasperated, and said, “Stay back, you idiot, before you get the cops called on us." She added as an afterthought, "Again.”

Zoro did so with surprisingly little resistance and dutifully stood behind Nami, already bored and watched as the orange-haired woman cleared her throat, flipped her hair over her shoulders, and fixed her before raising her hand up and sharply knocking on the door.

There was no response for a couple of breaths until the sound of feet scuffling on the floor could be vaguely made out as a person appeared from Zoro’s right side and came closer to the door. Zoro spotted the bright blonde hair before anything else and immediately felt his mood sour as if he’d taken a hearty bite of particularly sour lemon.

* * *

Nami quickly pulled on a smile and waved once to the blonde man as he neared the door. The man appeared to suspiciously regard the woman when he first saw her but as the recognition and realization of who she was settled into his brain, his suspicion quickly turned into delight.

“Nami-san!” The man cried out, joy apparent on his bright features. “It’s lovely to see you again!”

Nami widened her smile and casually flipped her hair, carefully watching Sanji’s expression and body language. “It’s nice to see you too, Sanji-kun.” Nami pushed out her lips into a small pout and tilted her head, feigning sadness as she said, “I didn’t know if you would be here or not, so I was a little worried…”

“Of course I would be here!” Sanji exclaimed, desperately trying to “cheer up” the other woman. _He really is an idiot._ “We’re usually not open on Sundays, but if you would come to see me like this every Sunday, I think we would be able to open every day!”

Zoro gagged slightly in his mouth but held himself from making any noise. It seemed the blonde had yet to notice the second person standing a couple of steps behind Nami. Zoro wondered how deep his obsession or infatuation (depending on how you looked at it) with women ran if he was capable of entirely canceling out another person’s existence.

“Really?” Nami suddenly cheered up and reached out for Sanji’s forearms. Zoro hadn’t noticed in the beginning when he’d opened the door but there were small white flakes on the blonde man’s arms and hands that Zoro assumed to be flour. A part of him, -a very, very small part- felt bad for interrupting the man when he was clearly busy but his mind generously reminded him of the previous night, and any feeling of contrition quickly dissipated. 

Sanji let out a small squeal of delight when Nami touched him but kept himself together, aside from his cheeks suddenly having a bright burst of color that spread all the way to the tips of his ears and down to a couple of inches past his neck. The sight was a little humorous considering how pale Sanji’s skin was from what had to be a severe aversion to any source of natural sunlight, further highlighting just how flustered he was from a single touch. 

Sanji cleared his throat and said, voice a little smaller than it was before. “Yeah, I mean, yes. Yes, we would open every day. Definitely.”

Nami offered Sanji another smile and let go of his arms to Sanji’s great disappointment and turned to Zoro. Zoro never thought he would see the day where Nami,-although one of his closest friends, she had a tendency to act like she had no relation to Zoro whenever he would do something stupid, or horridly irrational and was really into leaving him to suffer as a result of his actions- would pass of getting a free deal on a pretty nice place with semi-good beer just to talk to him.

“Did you hear that, Zoro? He said he’s gonna be open on Sundays!” Nami appeared to be genuinely happy about this sudden development but Zoro wouldn’t put it past her to still be acting.

Sanji finally turned his head to the left and his eyes landed on Zoro, who watched, slightly amused, as several expressions passed across the man’s face before settling on something Zoro could only describe as _strong_ displeasure.

“That’s great,” Zoro replied with as much sarcasm as he could muster. “But we came here for Law’s car, not to chat up the store owner, remember?”

Nami tutted and said, her tone annoyingly condescending. “Who said we couldn’t do both, dear Zoro?”

Zoro was _certain_ Nami had _never, ever,_ called him “dear” during the course of their friendship and immediately knew the woman was still at her own, self-purpose invented, ‘game’. Zoro suppressed a shudder from the nickname and instead rolled his eyes. “That’s fine but Law’s gonna be seriously pissed if we don’t come back with the car, so hurry up.”

Nami brushed off Zoro’s concerns and turned back to Sanji, smiling widely as she moved out of the way slightly, and fully showed the man standing behind her. “Sanji-kun, I hope you remember my friend from last night. His name is Zoro.”

The look on Sanji’s face changed and morphed into something that could be poorly described as displeased, or if one felt less eloquent, the way Zoro currently was, you could say he had bitten into the sourest lemon on the planet and then taken a straight shot of the strongest vodka after. Zoro snickered at how obvious the man was with his emotions and coughed once to hide the sound. He gave Sanji a small nod and turned to Nami, “Are we gonna get the car or what? I’m getting tired of standing out here.”

Nami’s smile somehow widened and Zoro knew he should have shut his mouth. She swiveled back to look at Sanji and fluttered her eyelashes at him, “Zoro’s right, Sanji-kun. We’ve been here for a while," It had barely been ten minutes since they arrived. "and I’m just so tired of standing,” Nami punctuated her words with an exaggerated quiver in her knees and held onto Sanji’s arm for balance, ignoring the second high pitched sound to come out of the man since she arrived. “Would it be okay if we came in and rested for a bit?”

Sanji’s response was predictable. Large, pink, nearly glittering hearts appeared in his eyes and he swooned, a wide grin pulling on his lips. He nodded readily and moved aside for Nami to walk in, his hands extended as he showed the orange-haired woman the way in. “Of course you can, Nami-san! It’s a little bit messy ‘cause I was in the middle of making something, but come right in!”

Zoro rolled his eyes once more, knowing the vicious woman was up to something that was bound to- no, was _guaranteed_ , to bring more problems and heartaches into his life. Zoro followed Nami in and ignored the scathing glare Sanji sent his way. The man clearly had his issues with him, and while Zoro had some of his own, he liked to believe he was above glaring at a complete stranger. Sometimes.

“Wow…” Nami whispered as she did a quick twirl, taking in the bottom half of the restaurant slash cafe slash bar. “It’s so pretty. Everything looks so nice, Sanji-kun!”

Sanji preened, his entire face pulling up into a weird smug smile that distorted his face in a rather unnerving and unappealing way. Zoro couldn’t help but gag and turn his head away from the sight. Unfortunately, Sanji caught him mid-gag and as soon as the weird expression was on his face, it disappeared just as fast and was replaced with a withering glare.

“Bastard,” Sanji called out, his voice sharp and icy. “You got something to say?” 

Zoro looked back at the man and shrugged his shoulders, his expression carefully blank and unreadable. “Not really.”

Sanji didn’t back off though. He came up to the man and stood about a foot or three away, shoulders squared and jaw set tightly. “Seemed like you did. Come on, then. Don’t be shy...Unless you’re a coward.” Sanji added and being as close as he was, he was able to notice the little twitch just above Zoro’s eyebrow. Sanji smirked lightly and cocked an eyebrow, daring the man to refute his statement.

“I ain’t no coward. I just don’t feel like watching you worship the ground that orange-haired witch walks on, that’s it.” Zoro said and shrugged his shoulders again. 

Sanji took a step forward until he was in Zoro’s physical space and sneered out, his blood boiling hot. “Call her a witch one more time and you’re done.”

Zoro was about to reply when Nami cut in and threw plastic forks at the two, hitting them squarely in the head. Zoro’s fork hit him on the side of the head while Sanji’s hit the top part of his head. The two men startled and raised a hand to rub at the offending spot while they looked down to see the offending objects that had been flung at them.

“Can you two stop fighting for a second?” Nami asked, already at the counter. “My plan can’t work well if you two can’t get your asses out of your head for a second and talk like normal adults do.”

“There’s nothing normal about a guy with moss-green hair, darling Nami-san,” Sanji said sweetly and bent down to pick up both forks, the animosity coursing through his body forgotten as he went back to what he was originally doing.

“That’s rich coming from a guy with curly eyebrows.” Zoro retorted and added, “Are those natural or do you spend time making them that curly?” Half of Zoro’s question came from genuine curiosity. He really did want to know if people could spend time curling their eyebrows or was this blonde, woman-obsessed asshole just _that_ unlucky? 

Sanji’s response was interrupted by Nami flinging another utensil at them but this time it was only at Zoro. “Stop it,” Nami said seriously. “Stop being an asshole and sit down.” 

Zoro considered going against Nami but the woman, in addition to being money-hungry, knew how to hold a fucking grudge and had an annoyingly good memory when it came to things like this. He grumbled under his breath the entire way there but did as Nami demanded and sat down on one of the chairs. Zoro didn't even bother pulling it out fully and just flopped down on the seat, his carelessness nearly making one of the utensils on the table tip and fall over. 

Sanji sent another glare at Zoro and was clearly about to chew him out for his lack of manners but was stopped by Nami, again. "But before we begin talking business," Zoro held back another snort, "Can I order some food, Sanji-kun? I haven't eaten all day." Nami punctuated her words with an exaggerated rub of her stomach and a slight pout on her lips again. 

And just like last time, the act worked perfectly on Sanji and he fell for it wholeheartedly, immediately bustling off to the kitchen with the perfect meal in mind even though Nami hadn't specified on what she was in the mood for. Zoro rolled his eyes again and spent the time the blonde was gone either observing the store or looking at his shoes, wholly and thoroughly unamused by the whole situation.

"Are you really gonna ask him about this again?" Zoro asked while Sanji cooked, the silence finally getting to him. "I thought we settled this yesterday. The answer is no."

Nami shook her head and tsked at him, a smirk already pulling on her lips. "That's because I was unprepared. Today, things will be different. I guarantee you."

Zoro held back a groan. Talking to Nami wasn't too different to talking to a brick wall when she decided on something. "I don't want your guarantees. I want to go home and sleep off this entire weekend. More than that, shouldn't you be getting ready to go to Vivi's already?"

Nami shrugged. "Christmas is in almost two weeks, Zoro. There's no point in going now since we're both still working." She added, "Also don't change the subject. This is happening, whether you like it or not."

"I don't like it. Not even one bit." 

Nami smiled. "Too bad. You're not spending another holiday cooped up in that apartment." Nami saw Zoro's mouth open, obviously about to refute Nami's statement and cut in before he could speak, "And no, going to the dojo doesn't count."

Zoro opened his mouth again.

"And neither does going to the gym."

He tried again. "B-"

"And neither does riding your bike, or going to visit Kid, or any of the things you do all-year-round." Nami casually flicked her hair again and observed her nails. "You're gonna go with Sanji to his family, and that's the end of it, Zoro."

Zoro stared at her, his mouth slightly open, either from shock on how well Nami knew him or fear from how repetitive his life apparently was, if it could be mapped down to less than five things in one minute. Zoro couldn't do much other than look at Nami in fearful awe or continue observing his shoes or the store. He chose the former and still had on the same expression when Sanji walked back in with two steaming plates of food and two glasses of a reddish-orange liquid. The plates were perfectly balanced on the crook of his elbow, and the drinks were held carefully in his hand. Zoro was mildly impressed at how the drinks didn't even seem to slosh around in the glass and remained near perfectly still. But he didn't say anything.

"For you, Nami-san," Sanji said and rested the first plate of food on the counter, and carefully placed the drink to her right. Zoro hadn't seen it when Sanji had walked in but there was a light pink straw inside that curved around in two full circles before disappearing into the colored liquid and out of sight. 

Nami smiled widely and clapped her hands together, a delighted sound coming out of her as she bent down and took a quick sniff of the food, moaning slightly when the delicious aromas hit her olfactory senses. "It smells so good!" 

Sanji let out a little laugh and turned around to serve Zoro his own food and drink. Zoro's food was placed with considerably less care than Nami was but Zoro couldn't see a single spill and chalked it up to another wonder of the universe (Law called it gravity or something to do with physics, but Zoro really couldn't be bothered to say all of that.)

"It's just fried rice with vegetables." Sanji held the tray in one hand and rubbed the back of his neck, a bit embarrassed. "I'm sorry I couldn't make you something better, Nami-san."

"Oh, no, don't worry about it!" Nami reassured and picked up the spoon placed to the side of the plate and dug in, carefully picking out a spoonful before raising it to her lips and taking a bite. A surprised moan came out of Nami as soon as the food landed on her tongue. She covered her mouth with one hand and turned to Sanji, eyes wide in what appeared to be a genuine surprise. "This is amazing!"

Sanji's mood considerably lifted at that and he asked, almost as if he didn't believe what Nami was saying, "Really? You think so?"

Zoro couldn't really tell if Sanji had low confidence in his skills or if he valued Nami's opinion on his food that much. Zoro assumed it had to be the latter considering the man was running a restaurant in one of the popular parts of town and didn't seem to have any sort of money or customer issues as far as Zoro could tell. Zoro scoffed and turned to his own food. There's no way it could be that good. For all Zoro knew, Nami could be playing another one of her tricks to get into the sandy-haired man's good books. It could taste like shit for all Nami cared but if she was as determined as she was now, she could easily lie about how it's the best food she's ever had in her life. Zoro knew she could. He had seen her do it.

Zoro picked up his own spoon and dug into the food, copying Nami's actions as he raised the spoon to his mouth and took a bite of the food. Zoro had to physically bite back a groan of pleasure as he chewed on what had to be the best vegetable fried rice he had ever had. Sanji's attention had now turned away from Nami and onto him, eyes carefully searching for any sign in case Zoro carelessly slipped up and let on to just how good the food actually was. 

Zoro fought to keep his expression blank and neutral as he chewed, all too aware of the piercing blue eyes fixed on him. He finished chewing and said, a bored expression carefully constructed on his face and voice. "Eh, it's not that good. I've had better."

_Liar. This is the best food I've ever eaten in my life._

Sanji bristled at that. "What do you mean you've had better? Where? Who made food better than mine?"

"Fuck if I remember who," Zoro replied with a shrug. "All I know is your food ain't all that. That dude made better-fried rice than you." _There is no dude. I've never had fried rice this good. Shit!_

Sanji was fuming. The tray was so tightly clenched in his hand, it was a wonder it hadn't snapped in half from how much strength Sanji was using. "The fuck do you mean he made better food than me?" Zoro's response was another lazy shrug but brought another mouthful to his lips, eagerly eating away at it but Sanji was too consumed in his rage to really notice.

"Are you saying my food tastes like shit, you asswipe?" Sanji hissed venomously. 

"I'm not saying it tastes like crap, you idiot," Zoro said after another bite. "But don't get a big head. There's better food out there other than yours." _He has all right to get a big ass head if this is the kind of food he can make. Plus, didn't he say he cooked this up in a few minutes...does that mean he can make better food than this?_

Sanji's temper hit the roof after that and he reached forward to grab Zoro's plate. "Then, give it back, you bastard! You can go and eat that motherfucker's food if you think he can make it better than me!"

Zoro was faster and pulled the plate away before Sanji's hands could touch it. He was almost halfway done but again, Sanji failed to notice. Sanji reached out, again and again, Zoro pulled away before he could get the plate. It went on like this for a full minute with each pulling away and pulling closer in an attempt to get to the plate until Nami got sick of watching it and stomped one foot on the ground, the sound loud enough to catch their attention and turn towards her. 

Nami considered telling them how compromising their current positions were -Zoro was still in his seat but now his chair was pushed back and his legs were spread wide and his feet were firmly planted on the ground. His hips were slightly raised from the seat and his hands were up in the air and behind him, almost as if he was stretching, the plate carefully held between his fingers. Sanji was in between Zoro's legs and was bent forward from his hips. Naturally, his upper body and crotch were dangerously close to Zoro's own as his hands reached out for the plate- but left it alone and cleared her throat. 

"As much fun as it is to watch Zoro lie, I came here with a much more urgent and pressing matter that I would like to discuss, that is, if you two are done with your lover's argument," Nami said and casually sipped on her drink, watching as the realization of their current positions dawned on both men and they simultaneously recoiled from each other. Zoro hastily dragged his seat further away while Sanji took several steps back from Zoro. 

"We're not having a lover's spat!" 

"Who would want to be lover's with this moss-brained idiot!?" 

The two said at the same time and Nami fought back a laugh. This was proving to be so much fun and they hadn't even begun 'dating' yet. 

"Wait, did you say lie? He's lying?" Sanji asked and turned to Nami and then Zoro. 

Nami nodded and took another sip of her drink. "Yep, that idiot only eats at two places and that's the burger station near his place or when Law, the tall guy with the tattoos from last night," Nami graciously filled in, "orders something. He's not had fried rice in nearly a decade." 

Sanji growled only this time he was more embarrassed than he was angry. "You fucking asshole! Why would you lie about my food being good!?"

Zoro shrugged again and let out a burp. Apparently, in the time Sanji had moved away from him and Nami had begun talking, he had already finished the food and was now leisurely slurping away at the drink Sanji had made. "Felt like it. Besides, who's the idiot here if you could believe me so easily?" Zoro asked with a snigger and Sanji's face flushed angrily. 

"Shut up!" Sanji yelled, face warm, but it just made Zoro laugh more. Nami decided to begin talking about her idea before the two got into another argument or began bickering over the smallest things. Again. She rested her drink back down on the counter, and swiveled around, fully facing the two men. She clapped her hands once to grab their attention and said with a small pull at the corner of her lips, "Thank you for the food, Sanji-kun, it was amazing." Nami said first, "That idiot will never say it but I'm pretty sure he liked it as well."

Sanji was really pleased with the compliment and beamed brightly, his lips pulling back in a genuine smile. "Thank you, Nami-san!" Nami rewarded him with another smile and ignored how he defied the laws of physics and shined even brighter. Nami could swear she saw him floating at one moment, but she thought it was a figment of her imagination. 

"Now that we've eaten and all," Nami continued, "I'd like to ask you to reconsider my offer from last time, Sanji-kun."

Sanji's stupefied expression changed into confusion before changing into realization and then worry. He walked to Zoro's table and placed the tray down before taking a chair out and sitting down, facing Nami, he said, "I'm sorry, Nami-san. I don't think I-"

Nami interrupted Sanji before he could finish talking. "I asked it too hastily last night, I know that, and I'm sorry. I know it sounds weird to take someone you just met to your family's house, but I think this could really work for both of you." 

"How?" Zoro chimed in and Sanji glanced at him and looked away. "Both of us don't want to spend time with each other, especially if I have to go to his parents. What if they're crazy people that like to invite unsuspecting victims to their house and then cook them or something?"

Sanji hated how he couldn't vouch for his family and say they would never do that. 

Instead, Nami did it for him. She shook her head, exasperated, and asked, "What kind of era do you think we live in? People stopped eating each other a long time ago, Zoro. Also, are you scared?" Nami's tone became amused, "Aren't you supposed to be strong as hell, what could a bunch of normal people do to you?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Of course I'm not scared, money-witch." "Just think about it for a second. I would be going to a complete stranger's family home, without knowing anything about them or what the do. It's not that hard to think something bad could happen while I'm there."

Nami rolled her eyes as well and turned to Sanji, "Are they that bad? Your family, I mean."

Sanji lightly bit into his bottom lip and thought of how to best describe his family. "I wouldn't say they're psychotic, senseless cannibals but they aren't the greatest people out there," Sanji said with some difficulty. 

"How bad are they? Can you give us an example or something?" Nami asked and Sanji's head tilted to the side, his teeth furiously pressing into the inner part of his bottom lip.

Nami asked for an example, but in Sanji's opinion, they were far too many to choose from. He didn't even know where to start. He could start with how violent his dad was towards him when he was a child, barely past half a decade old, or he could tell them how he drove his mother to near insanity by forcing thousands of tests on her while she was pregnant with his eldest siblings, or he could tell them how he was kicked out of the family for being a "failure" and "failing to live up the Vinsmoke name", or how his siblings continuously rebuke his behavior and occupation. Sanji could even tell them about the homophobic slurs his father and siblings had thrown at him and Ace when he first went back home with his best friend. There were so many things Sanji could tell them about how horrible his family sans his mother and sister really were but he didn't feel comfortable sharing that much detail to two people who were technically, still strangers to him, even though Sanji couldn't really consider Nami a stranger to him anymore.

Nami noticed the strain on Sanji's face and quickly said, "You don't have to if you don't want you." Zoro found this statement a bit funny, considering she was making them do something neither of them wanted to do but held his tongue.

But, Sanji shook his head. If Nami was insistent on going through with her plan then it was best she knew the kind of treatment she was about to subject her best friend too. "Did you hear what Ace and I were talking about in the club yesterday?"

Nami thought about it for a second and shook her head. "Not really. I only heard the part after, when you said you didn't want to go back home and a bit before Ace said he couldn't come with you."

"Well, the reason I didn't want to go starts from way back when I was a kid but a while back, my sister called me back home after our mom got really sick and I asked Ace to come with me. At that time, he was the only friend I had and was the only person I could trust." Sanji paused and took a deep breath. He ran a hand through his hair, briefly revealing his covered eye and proving Zoro's theory that both of his eyebrows really were coiled on opposite ends.

"When we got there, my dad and my two elder siblings and my younger brother were also there. I had never introduced any of my friends to my family before so when I came over with Ace, my siblings made the assumption that Ace and I were a couple. It didn't really help that Ace has narcolepsy and tends to fall asleep randomly, and I was usually the one to help him when that happened." Sanji said with a bit of smile but it was bitter and cold, nothing like the blindingly bright smile from before.

"Word got to my dad and then he called us both over into his study and said how, and pardon my language, 'how filthy faggots cannot carry the Vinsmoke name,' and how it would bring great dishonor and shame to the family if people knew I was a Vinsmoke and was in a relationship with a man." Sanji's expression was one of hatred and resentment as he recalled that humiliating day. "After that, I never really went home and avoided sharing any part of my life with my family again."

Sanji looked up at Nami and then Zoro and asked, voice uncharacteristically bland and flat. "Are you sure you still want to come to my family as my actual fake boyfriend now?"

Nami contemplated her idea once again, her lips drawn down in a solemn straight line. She had a suspicion Sanji's family was...not the most pleasing to be around but her expectations were clearly surpassed by a significant margin. She took into account how volatile Sanji's family's reaction was to someone Sanji wasn't even dating and was just a close friend with and wondered how much worse it would be if Sanji actually showed up with Zoro in tow as his actual boyfriend.

Nami's musings were interrupted by Zoro asking, attitude rather flippant and breezy considering the true nature of the people he might end up spending a fortnight at, "That's it?"

Sanji looked at him, indignation clearly simmering beneath his skin. "What the fuck do you mean, "That's it?"?"

Zoro, previously slouched low in his chair, pulled himself upright and sat properly. He propped his hand down on the table and pressed the side of his face against his knuckles, appearing lazy and unconcerned. "I mean, is that all that happened? They called you names and said you weren't worthy of being a Vinsmoke?"

Nami had forgotten it at the time, the rather cruel nature of the head of the Vinsmoke family overpowering the familiarity she felt after hearing the name "Vinsmoke." Nami bit her lip and tried her hardest to recall where she had heard that name before from...

Sanji, on the other hand, completely oblivious to Nami's thoughts, was enraged at the offhand attitude the moss-haired man had over something that was greatly frowned upon in most of the world. "They didn't just call me names, you fucking twat." Sanji said with a thin strip of self-control holding him back from flinging a chair at the bulkier man. "They humiliated me and made me feel less than simply because I had come with my best friend! Do you know what that feels like?"

Zoro gave him a deadpan look, "I'm a foreigner living in a mainly-white dominated country. You really think I don't know what that feels like?"

Sanji had thought Zoro was a foreigner when he first saw him but he had dismissed it, thinking the man was just really tan but apparently he was wrong. Very wrong. "Then, why the fuck are you treating it like it's no big fucking deal?" Sanji gritted out. He wondered how he was yet to fling any sort of object at the larger man and assumed it was because he was in the presence of a wonderful lady and he was still in his own store. If he damaged anything, he would have to pay for it.

"Because it's not." Zoro shrugged. "Is it your fault that your family thinks you're a failure? Is it your fault that your siblings are pieces of shit? Is it your fault that your dad is very homophobic and is quick to believe any rumors he hears about you?"

Sanji knew the answer to all of those questions. _No._ And, Zoro knew it too.

"So, why are you treating it as if it's your fault that it happened?" Zoro asked and moved back from his seat, fully leaning back into the dark mahogany wooden seat. "Why are you giving them a way out? Why are you running away from them?" 

Sanji was stunned silent, and so was Nami.

Zoro stood up from his seat and went to the door, saying as he went, "I'm not going to date someone who won't face their problems and keeps running away from them. It's fucking lame." Zoro opened the door and walked out, taking a turn and disappearing behind the corner and two pairs of brightly colored eyes followed him until he disappeared out of their sight.

Sanji was still left stunned and in shock in his chair. For years after it happened, Sanji had blamed himself for it happening. He was the one to ask Ace to come with him. He knew about the rumors his siblings were spreading but left them alone, thinking it wouldn't amount to much, after all, he was the least favorited sibling out of the five children, what would his dad care about some "squabbling between children," but they did amount to much, so much more than he ever thought would be possible. The guilt and shame really sunk in when he glanced over at Ace during his father's preaching of 'the holy name of the Vinsmoke's' and saw the _exhaustion_ and _resignation_ on the older man's face. It hit him like a slap in the face.

Ace must have gone through countless situations like this one, and Sanji, someone who he was supposed to trust, although not willingly or knowingly, had taken him to a place where he could be bombarded with endless insults about who he was. The shame he felt increased two-fold. Sanji furiously berated himself in his head, asking himself why he thought it would be different. This was the same man that had sought it fit to put his then-pregnant wife through rigorous testing and nearly killed her, all in the name of furthering the Vinsmoke name, and ensuring the children that inherited it would not bring it to shame. Why did he think the rumors wouldn't be taken seriously? Why hadn't he told Ace about them and gotten them out of there as soon as possible? Why had he not squashed out that flicker of hope inside him that desperately wished his family would be just that. A family. Not one that cared about status, or money but one that just cared for one another. Why had he kept quiet as his father continuously insulted him and his best friend, why had he let them get away with it?

Sanji felt ashamed that it had taken a complete stranger, someone he met less than 24 hours ago, to read through him and tell him what he had to hear after all this time. He hated how the tightly coiled ball of shame, anger, guilt and hate, so much hate, built up after decades of hating the Vinsmoke name and what it meant, slowly unfurled and released, after a couple of poorly phrased words from a man so boorish, and uncouth, Sanji had to laugh.

Nami was startled by a loud sound coming from her right. She turned and looked at Sanji, he was bent down, his face obscured by his hair as it fell forward with him, and his shoulders were shaking. One of his hands was around his midsection while the other was covering some part of his face. Nami feared the man was crying and leaped to her feet, rushing over to try and console the man only for him to throw his head back and laugh loudly, the sound clear and melodious as it echoed through the store.

Sanji laughed for a while. He laughed until his throat was sore and scratchy and his sides hurt. He reached up and wiped away the wetness around his eyes and looked at Nami for a while, a bewildered expression on her face as she waited for Sanji to stop laughing and talk to her. Sanji grinned widely and nodded once, "I'll do it. I'll take him with me to my family's house for the holidays."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think about this chapter in the comments below! i really love hearing your thoughts about it!! also dont take the layout of sanji's restaurant seriously it wont play a big part in the story


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jesus, is that how you react each time someone teases you?” The voice asked, the teasing tone replaced with something far annoying; glee. “I should do it more often then,” The man almost sounded thoughtful, “You have a more colorful vocabulary than I thought…”
> 
> “Why don’t you tell me who the fuck you are, asshole and I’ll show you just how fucking colorful my fucking vocabulary can fucking be?” Sanji growled out and a deep -almost as deep as his normal voice and just as hoarse- laugh ringed in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please focus on the road when you're driving! I thought it had been 3 weeks since my last update or something....Time really does fly by quickly now...But anyway, comments and kudos are much appreciated!! I wrote this in one sitting so please excuse any weird dialogue (i still haven't found any beta :[

After saying her goodbyes and thanking Sanji for the food, Nami left the restaurant and began her search for her green haired friend. The afternoon sun shined down brightly on her as she walked, casting her shadow behind her as she searched through the parking lot for her dear friend’s head. She didn’t have to look far, starting from the back of the restaurant where Law’s car was last parked. She spotted Law’s car and as she came closer, saw a tuft of green hair peeking up from the back of the driver’s seat and walked closer to the car.

Nami rapped her knuckles on the passenger window twice, immediately gaining the other man’s attention as he lifted his head, opened his eye, and turned to Nami. A small scowl appeared on his face but his hand reached out and unlocked the door, letting Nami in.

Nami opened the door and clambered into the seat, shutting the door gently but with enough force to close it. She turned to Zoro, one nicely trimmed eyebrow cocked, “Well? Let’s get this car back to Law before he thinks you disappeared with it, like last time.”

Zoro huffed and rolled his eyes but turned the key in the engine and started the car. Zoro smoothly pulled out of the parking lot and began driving back to his and Law’s apartment. The ride was mostly silent; except for Nami’s fingernails clicking away on her phone screen as she typed and the soft, barely noticeable, rumbling sound of the engine.

* * *

Zoro was stuck in his thoughts. One part was revisiting the conversation with the blonde in the restaurant, easily recalling how barbed and malicious each word had been as they came out of Sanji’s mouth, burning his tongue as they fumbled out, too wrapped up in years of suppression and hate to form an indifferent sentence. The other side was focusing on driving (he was reckless, but he wasn’t gonna purposefully endanger his or Nami’s life because he was being  _ extra  _ careless and not focusing on the road). It was because of this that he startled, nearly jumping out of his seat when Nami’s hand landed on his arm and gave it a slight shake.

Nami huffed and repeated her question, it seemed like she’d been trying to call out to him for some time. Zoro even noted she had kept her phone away and was now fully facing him. Nami repeated, exasperated, “I said, Congratulations, you have a date for the holidays!”

“Huh?” Zoro dumbly said and felt rather than saw the eyeroll Nami gave him.

“Your date, you know? Sanji? The good-looking blonde you called lame after eating his food for free? Remember him?”

It was Zoro’s turn to roll his eyes. “I know who you’re talking about, witch. I’m asking why he said yes, after all, I did call him lame and all.” Unless the arguments Law and Kid used to have that Zoro would accidentally overhear -it wasn’t his fault. The apartment wasn’t that big and it wasn’t soundproof either, so it wasn’t  _ really _ his fault if Law’s angered voice seeped through the walls into his room- were wrong, name calling wasn’t exactly, ‘ _ hey i’m the perfect person you should take to meet your family for the holidays!’ _

Nami shrugged. “He didn’t say. After you left, he broke down laughing and then said he would take you.” She turned away from Zoro and looked out the window, watching as people walked down the street with bags in their hands, some were from shopping, a variety of fruits and vegetables peeking out of their hand-held bags while others were coming back from work, bags carelessly slung over their shoulders, tired and weary, as they dragged themselves back home. 

“I think you broke him.” Nami commented and Zoro scoffed, “If he can be broken by something like that, then he’s even weaker than I thought.”

Nami turned back and smacked the larger man’s arm. Repeatedly. She ignored Zoro’s cries of pain as her palm repeatedly connected with his arm until her own palm was red and throbbing. “Stop calling him names! You should be grateful he even agreed to bring you along after all you said!”

“Stop hitting me, I’m driving!” Zoro cried and rolled his shoulders, trying to ease some of the pain. He looked at the road before turning to Nami, “Why should I be grateful? I never asked for any of this, Nami! It's all your doing! I was perfectly happy staying home, the way I’ve always done, but you couldn’t let me be!”

“Because it’s sad, Zoro!” Nami countered, “What kind of loser stays home, alone, while all of his friends went out to be with their family or their friends or their lovers during one of the most important holidays of the year?”

Zoro wanted to scream, “HIM!”, but that would mean admitting that he was, in fact, a loser. A loser with barely any friends. Or family. Or lovers. Zoro kept his mouth shut and Nami mistakenly took it as a cue to continue talking. “This is a good thing for you, Zoro! It might even be a good change of pace, you know, a change of scenery.” Nami pointed out to the window, “You could go out there and experience something new, maybe even get a boyfriend out of it when it’s all over.”

Zoro scoffed again. Nami was suspicious of his emotional range being limited but she was slowly getting convinced he was only capable of displaying a handful of emotions one of which was near constant scoffing. Briefly, Nami wondered if a person could die from scoffing too much, and if they were none, Zoro was bound to be the first if he kept it up. “Who would want to date a woman-obsessed freak like him with swirly eyebrows? Not to mention, he’s a complete asshole.”

“Maybe because of how awful his life has been?” Nami offered with another eyebrow raised. A pitiful expression crossed over her face as she recalled Sanji’s brief but vile description of his father and siblings. “I don’t think I would have been nice either if I went through that…”

“You’re not nice now.” Zoro dead-panned and Nami flipped him off. “But that’s still no excuse for how shitty his attitude is,” Zoro continued and Nami sighed and kept silent. “How he’s still in business with such a shitty attitude is what’s truly amazing here.”

“I don’t think he interacts with the customers regularly. Maybe his staff works most of the tables and he stays in the kitchen?” Nami asked and Zoro shrugged. “Anyway, I don’t want to date him, and I’m guessing the feeling’s mutual.”

Zoro looked over at Nami as he spoke and the woman shrugged, “He just said he’ll take you with him. I’m guessing this means the trial period is on but that’s gonna be up to you and him to discuss and sort it out.” Nami brightened considerably, “Which means you’ll have to go back and see him tomorrow!” 

Zoro barely suppressed a groan. “Why can’t he come instead? I don’t wanna go back to that restaurant! It’s fucking far!”

“Do you want him to come to the dojo and then begin explaining who he is to everyone there?” Nami’s eyebrow rose again and she looked at Zoro expectantly, waiting for the response she already knew was coming.

Zoro’s lips curled down into a petulant almost-pout. He was silent for a while before mumbling out a “Fine,” and kept silent for the rest of the drive. Nami smiled, her pearly white teeth covered by her beautifully shaped lips and leaned back in her seat, preferring to look outside the window as Zoro brought them closer and closer to his and Law’s shared apartment.

About a mile before they reached, Nami turned back to Zoro, a question already on her lips. “Hey, I’ve been curious for a while now, but what did Law say?”

“Hmm?” Zoro glanced at Nami and back at the road. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you weren’t exactly ecstatic to come here so what did Law say for you to agree?”

“He said he’d pay my half of the rent for the next month.” Zoro says and hears Nami's sharp intake of air. He could understand her surprise. Law wasn’t quite what one could describe as stingy or cheap with his money but he wasn’t exactly the most enthusiastic spender, preferring to keep his money close and using it as sparsely and carefully as he possibly could -however, that changed if his boyfriends were involved. Zoro had once seen him splurge a hefty amount of cash in one sitting for one of his previous lovers for a simple make-up kit Zoro knew he could find for over half the price elsewhere.- Therefore, hearing him offering to foot the full cost of their -not cheap- apartment could come as a surprise to anyone that knew him. 

“Why? Does this car really mean that much to him?” Nami asked, and looked around the car, taking note of the peeling paint on the hood of the car and the ratty, almost banged-up state of the inside. Some parts of the car were faulty and barely worked while the rest dangled from their hinges and nearly fell apart on the ratty carpet underneath her feet. It was a pretty old car -that was in need of a serious repair, if the insides were anything to go by-, and it didn’t look like it would cost much to sell either. Nami couldn’t understand why Law would keep it for as long as he did, let alone offer to pay money that could be better spent fixing the car instead to get it back.

“Well,” Zoro began as he took a left and pulled up into a long street that led to their apartment. “It was the first gift Kid ever gave him when they began dating. I think it was also Kid’s first solo project after he left his previous job with Franky. He made everything from the ground up,” Zoro did a quick scan of the car and felt his lip curl up in distaste, it always did when he drove the car.  _ Kid really had awful fucking taste _ . “ ‘S why the design is so mismatched.”

Nami looked around again, making sure to take note of the horrible color patterns and designs clashing against each other in the worst way. There were yellows mixed with bright, almost neon reds where they should not be and most of the pattern was animal-like - either a leopard or a cheetah, Nami couldn’t tell- and was rough and coarse to the touch. Nami could barely stand to look at them any longer let alone imagine someone as straight-laced as Law would drive it around for this long. 

“Yeah…” Nami says, “Law has a terrible taste in men. Or at least, their fashion sense,” Nami hastily added, “-or lack thereof.” 

“Yeah…” Zoro agreed with a chuckle and turned right, pulling into the parking lot. “Remember that guy with the ugly red outfit and the yellow sash on his hip? He had these weird headphones on his ears that never came off!”

Nami laughed as well. “I remember him!” She cried, delighted, “And that other guy with the leather pink pants with the tiger stripes? He always had on this tiny red sunglasses one and those ugly black loafers! I hated him so much!”

Zoro couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled out of him as he recalled Law’s exes  _ horrendous  _ taste in fashion. “Well,” Zoro turned the engine off and clambered out of the car, saying just before he shut the door, “It’s not like Law’s any better. Remember that bright yellow hoodie he always wore? The one with the white polar bear in the middle and those ugly spotted pants?”

Nami shuddered and climbed out of the car as well, shutting the door behind her as she walked around the car and came to stop beside Zoro. “I used to think he had them custom-made. I’ve never seen any clothing store with that kind of design…”

Zoro shuddered as well and walked beside Nami as they headed towards the apartment building in front of them, all of previous talk of Sanji forgotten in favor of continuous attacks towards Law and his former (and current) significant severe lack of taste.

* * *

After Nami left with the promise of talking to him later,  _ when you’re free we should go out for a cup of coffee! _ , she had said enthusiastically, winking at him before taking her leave. Sanji revisited the entire conversation once more before laughing quietly to himself, simultaneously at the audacity of the green haired man and the ridiculousness of the entire situation. Sanji had some second thoughts but knew he couldn’t back out now. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stand the thought of letting Nami down. The green-marimo’s voice eerily ringing in the back of his head, calling him a coward had  _ absolutely  _ nothing to do with it. It was just a coincidence. 

Sanji prayed if he repeated those words over and over again, they would stick and he’d actually begin believing them.

Sanji was drawn out of his thoughts when he heard a loud chirping sound from the locker rooms and quickly identified it to his cellphone ringtone. Sanji reminded himself to change it but he had been saying the same thing for nearly two months, and each time he kept leaving the ringtone alone when he finally remembered and actually opened his settings, ready to change it. He stood up and walked to the lockers, quickly entering inside as the ringtone began tapering off. Sanji dug around his pockets and pulled out his phone. He read the caller ID as unknown and wondered who the hell it could be. Other than his friends and family, and some of his co-workers, Sanji rarely gave his phone number out and wondered if this was some sort of prank call.

Sanji figured there was only one to know and slid his finger to the right and lifted the phone to his ear. Sanji thought if it was in fact a prank call, there was no need for any niceties, and bluntly asked, “Who is this?” 

There was a slight scoffing sound in the background and Sanji felt his annoyance rise. Whoever the fuck this, Sanji had to give them some credit, they had already managed to make him annoyed without even saying a single word! That was an incredible feat on it’s own! 

“That how you answer every phone call? No wonder you’re not popular…” The voice trailed off, taunting and teasing, and Sanji felt the hair on the back of his neck as he struggled to place the oddly familiar deep, hoarse sounding voice. 

“Fuck you, asshole!” Sanji argued, agitated. “What the fuck would you know about my popularity anyway? You haven’t even introduced yourself, rude fuck!”

“Jesus, is that how you react each time someone teases you?” The voice asked, the teasing tone replaced with something far annoying; glee. “I should do it more often then,” The man almost sounded thoughtful, “You have a more colorful vocabulary than I thought…”

“Why don’t you tell me who the fuck you are, asshole and I’ll show you just how fucking colorful my fucking vocabulary can fucking be?” Sanji growled out and a deep -almost as deep as his normal voice and just as hoarse- laugh ringed in his ear. 

The man took a moment to reply, Sanji presumed, to collect himself and gather his words together and finally said, “For someone who runs a restaurant, you’re quite dumb, you know?” The voice added quickly, catching onto the sound of Sanji’s growl, “It’s Zoro. Remember?” The teasing tone was back. “The dude who ate for free at your restaurant today with Nami?”

“Ah...You?” Sanji’s voice was the complete opposite of before. Whereas he had the spite -and the venom to match it- of a pit viper before, Sanji had mellowed out and sounded more exasperated and disgruntled, as if Zoro was a delivery package he had forgotten to have delivered and now had to refund the whole process again. 

“Nami already gave you my number?” Sanji asked and turned to his coat, digging around for the familiar white box and gold lighter. Sanji went around back and pulled out one cigarette and placed it between his lips, using his teeth to hold it steady as he turned on his lighter and placed it on the tip, inhaling deeply, Sanji let the bittersweet taste of tobacco mixed with cinnamon fill his lungs and felt the tension bleed out of him and onto the floor. 

“Duh,” Sanji heard some shuffling around and the sound of a door closing. There was more shuffling before Zoro’s voice spoke again, “She said I had to talk to you as soon as possible, so I did.”

Sanji doubted it was as easy as Zoro was making it out to be but bit his tongue and stayed quiet. The man seemed to be in a semi-decent mood considering he hadn’t insulted Sanji yet or called him any more names, and Sanji figured if this was the man he was going to have to pretend to date for a fortnight, he might as well act decent and try to get to know him better.

Sanji made a non-committal sound and blew out the smoke in his lungs, hissing softly as he took another drag and felt the tobacco burn his lungs and throat as it went down. Sanji held it in for another twenty seconds before exhaling softly through his nose, “So, what do you want to talk about?”

The line was silent for a moment. Sanji would’ve thought Zoro had hung up or - _ God, forbid-  _ dozed off but he had the uneven breathing through the speaker and knew the man was still awake and hadn’t cut the call off. It was silent for another beat, long enough for Sanji to take another puff and blow it out, creating small round patterns with his mouth as he waited, when he heard Zoro ask, “Are your eyebrows naturally that curly or not? You never answered my-”

Zoro barely managed to finish his question when he heard the tell-tale beeping sound in his ear, alerting him that the call had ended. He pulled his phone back from his ear and looked at it, and it really was true. Sanji had hung up on him. 

Zoro spent the rest of the day laughing in his room, ignoring the muted shouts of Law, still asleep on the couch -or at least attempting to be- screaming at him to, and quote,  _ shut the fuck up, i’m trying to sleep! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yes my zoro changes moods this quickly. hopefully the next part will be longer since they have their first "date!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is ridiculously long and overdue, im so sorry

Zoro contacted Sanji a few times after their first phone call and proper interaction. Most of their meetings tended to end with either him or Sanji angry or at least mildly irritated at the other which would _then_ end another attempt at learning about each other in a more catastrophic failure than the last.

Zoro could admit it was mostly his fault as he tended to pick on Sanji any chance he got, whether it was about his weirdly styled eyebrows, or about his cooking (which was sublime but Zoro would jump into a tank filled with live sharks first before he ever told him that) or about his oddly formal outfits. In Sanji's defense, the last one wasn't as bad and was quite flattering to Sanji's lithe, toned form but it also tended to attract more attention whenever they ate outside. It also didn't help that Sanji gave as good as he got and picked on Zoro almost as much as he did. This led to their fourth and most recent attempt at a "date" ending in complete and utter failure after Zoro's frequent name-calling towards Nami, and as if on cue, Sanji's annoying, persistent defense towards her. 

Had it been a normal 'blind date', Zoro wouldn't have cared so much let alone bothered to show up after the first time. However, this time the situation was… quite different from a standard date and his comfortable and peaceful life was at stake. Nami would never let him hear the end of it if the next two weeks passed with him ignoring Sanji, or if their time together was wasted arguing over mundane things like _what was considered proper attire for a date in a partially rundown restaurant_. There was the possibility of avoiding Nami and by default Sanji, but Nami was a vital part of his admittedly small group of friends and it would be quite difficult to avoid her if they had mutual friends as well as knowing where he worked and lived. Zoro would never admit it to anyone but another reason he couldn’t really find it in him to ignore Nami for that long was that while she did annoy the living hell out of him, and tended to butt her nose in things that weren’t her business, he did care about her and he couldn't really see a peaceful life without her, even though a good chunk of his problems were created by her.

This spurred Zoro into attempting to set up another date with the blonde only this time, he vowed to try and keep the teasing to a minimum and try to actually talk and get to know the man. Christmas was drawing ever closer and Zoro doubted Sanji's family would believe they were an actual couple if they spent the entire time at each other's throats. With a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart, Zoro pulled out his phone and quickly typed out a text, and sent it.

' _hey. wanna have dinner with me?'_

Zoro gazed down at his phone screen, waiting for it to light up with an alert of a new message but it never came. Zoro rolled his eyes and sighed again. He tossed his phone on the other side of the couch and decided to ignore it. If Sanji saw it he would reply if he wanted to and if he didn't then... Either way, Zoro wasn't about to spend hours nitpicking on his phone, waiting for a reply as if he was a love-struck teenager.

He sighed again and reached for the remote and turned on the television, switching to a random show that was airing, Zoro tuned out the rest of the world and forced himself to pay attention to the screen, fixating his gaze on one of the characters chattering passionately about something Zoro really couldn’t be bothered to figure out. Unbeknownst to him, a few minutes after he tossed the device, his phone vibrated once on the other side of the couch and vibrated once more and the screen darkened once more.

Sanji was on his designated lunch break when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pants pocket. He shifted the cigarette to his left hand and pulled out his phone with his right, swiftly moving his fingers across the screen, Sanji unlocked the device and clicked on the flashing message icon on the screen. He waited as the screen whitened out and reappeared with the message read out in front of him.

Sanji clicked his tongue and reflexively returned the cigarette stick back into his mouth and took a puff. He read the message again and briefly considered it. Sanji turned his gaze away from his screen and lightly bit into the cigarette, stabilizing it there with his teeth. He looked back at his phone and typed out: ' _no, i'm busy.'_

Sanji returned his phone into his pocket and finished the small bit of the cigarette with a few quick puffs before crushing the faint orange, smoky tip into the wall behind him and flinging the bud into the trash bin. Sanji went back inside, locking the backdoor as he went, and began setting up the lower half of his restaurant slash cafe. Usually, this part was done by his staff but because Christmas was less than a fortnight away, Sanji had given them an early holiday leave and was left alone other than a few temps he hired for the next few days.

Sanji went into the kitchen and came back with a cloth and began wiping down the tables, slightly desperate for a distraction. He cleaned the entire restaurant twice over, checked, and re-checked the food at least three times, and then did one more sweep of the store before reluctantly admitting that he had nothing to do. For his entire life, Sanji always had something to do, whether it was learning how to cook, cleaning, or just being with his adopted father; there was always something to do.

Free time wasn't a necessity in his life, it was a privilege, and something he indulged in when he was with Ace or when he felt like relaxing and unwinding at home. But this was different. The store's regulars had drastically reduced due to the close proximity to the holidays which meant less than half of the usual customers were bound to come until the holidays ended and the New Year began which also meant that Sanji was just wasting his time, continuously opening the store every day.

But Sanji couldn't stop. What was he supposed to do if he did? Stay home for the next two weeks and ignore his sister’s calls? He couldn't call up Ace and hang out with him either. Ace had called him the day and told him he wasn't going to be around for a little while which meant Sanji was unbelievably bored and was aimlessly walking up and down the store, trying to find something to do and was sorely missing the company of the one person he genuinely enjoyed being around.

Sanji sighed and glanced at the door. The sign was flipped around and the cursive ' _We are closed. Thank you_ ,' text faced him, staring back at him, almost taunting him, and daring him to flip it over and close the store before anyone walked in. Sanji stared at it for a long moment, deliberating the pros and cons of doing just that, turning the sign around and closing up the store before the first customer walked in. He hesitated for a second. It wasn't like him, _this_ -entertaining the idea of not opening shop. Sanji couldn't remember the last time he had failed to open up shop (if there was ever a time that is). But now, as he sat there, Sanji stood up and did something he _never_ thought he'd do. 

He walked to the door and grabbed the sign and flipped it over, hurriedly closing the door before anyone strolled over. Sanji locked the door and closed the windows back down, the bright light previously filtering into the store now shut out courtesy of the thickness of the blinds. Sanji went into the kitchen and worriedly looked at the rows of food he'd made for lunch and breakfast. Normally, Sanji would have distributed half of it into Ace's hands and distributed the other half later with his staff but Ace wasn't home and neither were his staff and Sanji didn't know anyone else he could call up and convince to help him eat at least half of the food. 

* * *

Well, that wasn't entirely true. There was one person but Sanji's lip curled at the mere thought of being in debt to such a vile, boorish man with no sense of delicacy or gratitude but as Sanji's distressed gaze filtered from one dish to another, he couldn't deny he was in need of help. Even if he went around and distributed the food to the less fortunate, there would still be a considerable size of food left and Sanji knew his body almost as well as he knew food, it was laced in his fingertips, in his blood, it was practically in his DNA, and Sanji knew he was not capable of finishing even a quarter of the food before him.

Sanji chewed on his bottom lip and tossed around different scenarios and possibilities in his mind but they all amounted to the same answer. He needed help and there _was_ a willing participant, potentially with a (hopefully) reliable number of people in his contacts. Surely one of them should be able to help him finish all of the food, or at least help chip away at the small mound before it went bad. Sanji let go of his bottom lip and with a sigh and a resigned roll of his eyes, reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone.

Sanji wasn't particularly happy at the idea of asking Zoro for help but the indescribable hate he felt towards wasting food far outweighed any dislike he had towards the man at the moment. Sanji clicked his tongue in distaste and quickly typed out a reply, sending it before he could have a chance to second guess himself and take the offer back. Sanji hurriedly pocketed his phone and tried to busy himself with packing the food up, storing the ones that needed refrigerating inside the fridge, and keeping the rest in a dry and cool place. 

Sanji futilely tried to ignore how erratic his heart was beating or the burning hole in his pant pocket that seemed to grow bigger with every passing second without a reply but he had to admit he found it rather difficult the second to last time after he accidentally stored one of the peach and pumpkin drinks into the freezer, glass and all. He huffed out a breath and took deep breaths to recollect himself.

Sanji couldn't understand why he was so nervous about the other man's response. It wasn't like he could refuse; after all, he was the one who offered. Sanji couldn't imagine the bull-headed man being the type to ask for something he didn't really want to do, so by that logic, there was a part of Zoro that did want to have dinner with Sanji but this was also the same man that had gone out of his way to be an annoying, petty bastard and nitpick everything Sanji did or said. Looking back at all these reasons, Sanji was convinced there was no reason for him to be as nervous as he was but it did nothing for his steadily unsettled heartbeat and jittery, clammy palms.

Sanji's internal dilemma was drawn to a halt by two vibrations on his right ass cheek. He startled and let out a shameful sound before exhaling and tapping his ass for his phone and pulling out and checking it. It was from Zoro. 

_'Alright, see you at 7.'_ Sanji let out a sigh of relief and chided himself for it. He shook his head, trying to clear his head of the conflicting waging war in his head, and turned his gaze back to his screen. Immediately after, there was the second vibration which meant Zoro had added something. 

_'Wear something pretty for me, love-cook.'_ As if it wasn’t infuriating enough, the green-haired man had the gall, the _nerve_ to add a smiley wink emoticon after. 

"That fucking-bastard," Sanji spat out and grasped his phone in a tight grip, the metal worryingly bending slightly at the ends, the faint sound of glass creaking and bending under pressure filling the kitchen. "I'll fucking kill him!"

"Are you actually going on a date?" Law asked from his perch by the doorway. Nami rolled around and looked at the tall man but her vision was a bit skewered by her upside-down position on Zoro's bed, flaming orange hair dramatically fanned out around her in ironic imitation of a halo, albeit an orange one.

"Hey, Law," Nami greeted with a wave, the action shifted her shirt out of place and rode up a few inches, exposing the pale, milky skin on her stomach.

Law replied to Nami's greeting with a nod and a slight rise and fall of his thick, full eyebrows, "Hey there, Nami," he said, and turned back to Zoro, crossing his hands over his chest as he did, small creases forming around the elbows and shoulder of his black and grey panda hoodie. Law cocked one brow, the faint markings of a smirk pulling on the older man's lips as he asked, "So, are you going on a date?"

Zoro grunted from inside the closet and reappeared with an olive-colored hoodie and a pair of dark blue jeans on. Nami audibly gagged and frantically waved her hand, motioning for Zoro to take that off immediately. Zoro rolled his eyes and huffed but did as the young woman wanted and went back into his closet and continued digging.

Figuring that was as much confirmation as he was going to get, Law turned his sharp gaze onto Nami, wordlessly asking her to explain the sudden and unprompted burrowing of Zoro's closet.

Nami nodded –well, as much as she could with her head upside down- and said, "Yeah, it's a date! Remember that dude from the bar last time? Nami explained further when she saw the confusion flitter through Law's dark eyes. “That place where Zoro went to get your car?"

"Well," Nami grunted and used all of her core strength to pull herself up into an upright position, flicking her hair out of her face and shoulders. "There was a bit of a discussion,” Nami continued with something that could easily be mistaken as embarrassment on her face but Law knew her better than that and knew it was actually a smug look. “And I managed to convince him to take Zoro along to his parents for Christmas but on the condition that they get to know each other before then."

"So that's why he's trying to dress up?" Law asked, realization slowly filtering into his dark grey eyes. 

"Yeah," Nami replied and both of them turned to look at Zoro as he re-emerged with a tan-colored shirt and a faded pair of jeans. Nami shook her head, despondent, and rubbed at the bridge of her nose while Law's nose scrunched up in disgust. "It's obviously not going well." 

Zoro snapped at that. "Why the hell are you judging me?" He directed his next question to Law. "You have just as bad fashion taste as I do."

"Yeah but I have a boyfriend who dresses even worse." Law countered with an easy shrug. 

"That's-! How is that better?" Zoro asked, almost hysterically.

Law shrugged and Zoro barely managed to restrain from pulling his hair out in frustration. Zoro cared about his friends, _really he did_ , but sometimes he couldn't stand them. It didn't help that both of them were more stubborn than a mule and just as headstrong as he was, if not more.

"Take those off, Zoro. We need to find something for you to wear, it's time for you to go," Nami cut in, pulling herself out of bed with swift and graceful movements and walking over to Zoro and pushing him aside with her hip. She stuck out one hand out and beckoned Law over, "Come over here Law. I need your opinion on some of these outfits."

Law pushed himself off the doorway and went over to Nami. Zoro scoffed and took a seat on his bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress, and fell onto his back, spreading his arms eagle wide. "You're gonna take fashion advice from the dude with seven pairs of spotted pants and nothing but panda hoodies?" Zoro taunted, question sharp and biting but his tone was the complete opposite; amicable and teasing.

Law kicked Zoro's leg with his own, making sure to knock his sharper and bonier ankle against Zoro's and smirking to himself when he heard the sharp hiss of pain that followed. 

"Shut up," Nami replied easily without lifting her head. "And why do you have so many green and brown clothes?" Nami asked, a bit appalled at the growing sea of green and brown that was slowly eating away at her legs.

"Don't know," Zoro replied with a careless shrug. "They're easy to wear and hide stains pretty well." 

Nami's nose scrunched up further and tossed all the green clothes to the side with her leg, giving it an extra kick just to be sure before turning back to the closet and digging through what was left. 

"So, how attractive is this dude, Law asked as he pulled out a nice pair of rugged, dark jeans. “, if Zoro's willingly trying on outfits?” He tapped Nami on the shoulder and waited for her approval before tossing the jean onto the bed and continuing his search. "I've never actually seen you wear any of these clothes..." Law mumbled but Zoro and Nami ignored it.

"Eh," Zoro mustered enough energy for a shrug and continued observing the near-invisible cracks and tears on the ceiling. The paint was slightly peeling on the right corner side above his head and there were a number of suspiciously dark spots on the opposite side near the door but Zoro shrugged it off and continued counting the small cracks on the ceiling, forming an imaginary and unknown pattern as he joined one crack to another. "He's alright, I guess."

Nami rolled her eyes and reached for her phone, swiftly unlocking it and digging through it for a minute before finding what she was looking, and showing it to Law. Law's eyebrows raised and he let out a low whistle. 

"He looks nice," Law said and took the phone from Nami's hands, bringing it closer to his face and observing the blonde man's face and physique, thumb flipping through the variety of photos posted on the man’s social media page.

"Looks even better in person," Nami muttered next to him and Law nodded appreciatively and handed the phone back. 

"How did _you_ manage to score a date with him? I mean obviously, Nami’s behind it but how did you get him to agree to it?" Law questioned and bent back down to continue digging. "No offense, Zoro, but you're an asshole and he seems rather high class."

It was Zoro’s turn to roll his eyes, "Thank you for the vote of confidence, Law. I feel so much better knowing how much you believe in me."

Law’s leg reached out and kicked Zoro's shin again. "You know what I mean. You’re not the friendliest person around and you have an attitude strong enough to rival Kid, so how'd you do it?"

"He didn't," Nami cut in and stood up tall, elbow bent at ninety degrees and three different pairs of jeans and shirts nestled comfortably in the crook of her elbow. "I did." She walked over to the bed and dropped the clothes on the side Zoro wasn't resting on. "I managed to convince Sanji to not only take this moss-idiot with him for the holidays but also go on dates with him while they waited."

"How?" Law moved back from the closet and went around to the opposite side of Zoro's bed and sat down. "I can't imagine anyone agreeing to take a complete and total stranger with them anywhere, let alone to a family event." "Did you bribe him or something?"

"Yes," Zoro and Nami said simultaneously, "No."

"He told us a story of his dad and brothers and his best friend," Nami started with a sigh, "-they thought Sanji and his best friend were a couple and were rather homophobic about it and humiliated Sanji. Ever since then, he hasn't gone home but now he has to and he doesn't want to and I thought what better option than to take a man, as-built and beautiful as Zoro," Nami smacked her hand down on Zoro's thigh, resulting in a sharp sound of skin against skin, "along as his boyfriend for revenge and tell his father to stick it where the sun never shines."

Law took a moment to process the information and in that time Nami nudged Zoro's leg with her own and made him stand and begin changing. Nami assessing each outfit with a critical eye, handheld against her chin as she watched her best friend's image transform with each change of clothes. She finally settled on a pair of nicely ripped black jeans that gripped his legs firmly and left little to nothing to the imagination and a nice faded shirt paired up with some dark combat boots and a dark brown leather jacket. Zoro sighed in relief when he was finally allowed to sit down in peace without having to stand up and change into a new, different look every four seconds. 

"And he agreed?" Law's voice cut into the short-lived peace and Zoro turned to him. "Just like that? No conditions or anything? He didn’t even try to extort you guys or something?"

"Nah, it took a bit more convincing but yeah, eventually he agreed, and now we've been stuck doing these stupid dates," Zoro replied and quickly pulled his legs out of the strike zone of Nami's hand as she tried to swat him. “It doesn’t help that the cook is a complete dumbass for women and hangs onto every word Nami says,”

"They're not stupid, you idiot. They're necessary! You need to know more about each other!" Nami argued, "What will you do if his dad decided to question your relationship and you can't even say Sanji's middle name right!"

"Worst that could happen is we'd get sold out for being fakes and the erotic-cook will be publicly humiliated in front of his family again," Zoro replied with a shrug and unfortunately wasn't fast enough to pull his leg away before Nami's hand could make any contact.

"Yes!" Nami hissed and repeatedly smacked Zoro's thigh, "And I know you haven't been taking this seriously as you should, don't think that I didn't notice you snickering to yourself every time your phone vibrated." Nami warned a perfectly manicured nail pointed eerily close to his eyeballs and nose.

"So, this isn't your first date together?" Law asked and Nami and Zoro shook their heads simultaneously.

"It's our fourth..." Zoro said and Nami's hand came back down on his leg. "Ow!" He let out a yelp and rubbed at the undoubtedly red spot on his thigh.

"This idiot here ruined the other three with his big mouth so now, I'm going to be supervising him until the day they leave," Nami said and Zoro barely managed to resist rolling his eyes. He wasn't a three-year-old child going on a playdate with the neighbor's child that needed supervision, he was a grown man and he could handle going on a date with another man, regardless of how unbearable the urge to tease and prod at the other man got, Zoro believed he could hold it back and try to be a decent date to his future fake boyfriend.

"Where are you guys going?" Law asked instead and Zoro swiped his phone from the nightstand behind Nami's leg. 

"He said he had a lot of food at his restaurant so I'm guessing we're eating there." Zoro unlocked his phone and went through his and Sanji's messages and read the message out loud for his friends to hear. 

"Oh yeah, do you guys know anyone else who has a voracious appetite and can eat some food?" Zoro asked and locked his phone before carelessly flinging it onto the bed. "There's Luffy, and Franky but I don't know if that'll be enough."

"Kid as well," Law chimed in and Zoro nodded once. "Okay,"

"Are you sure you want Luffy here with food?" Nami asked and bent down to gather the small mountain of clothes on the floor and toss them back into the closet, hurriedly shutting it before the fabrics could collapse on each other and fall out of the closet. "Remember the last time we brought food and he was here? The kind of mess he made..."

"We were cleaning pieces of chicken from the floor and ceiling for days after," Law muttered, a dark cloud coming over his face, voice sharp and gaze even sharper.

Zoro winced at the memory; it was Nami's birthday and the group agreed to gather a few close friends together over at Law's and Zoro's –they were the only apartment big enough to house more than three people at a time and they came with the additional freedom of volume at any hour- for a small party which naturally escalated into a slightly bigger party with an enormous amount of food courtesy of Franky, Zoro, and Kid. Zoro remembered how quickly he saw the food disappear right in front of his eyes and before he knew it, the plates were cleaned thoroughly, barely even a scrap left behind, and Zoro hadn’t even tasted any of it.

"I'll ask if I can take Luffy along next time then," Zoro replied and nodded once. It was a plan. Zoro just hoped Sanji had more food than he let on to satisfy Luffy's abnormally voracious appetite. Zoro already knew Luffy would like Sanji's food, it was practically guaranteed, the young man ate anything as long as it was edible, and Zoro couldn’t whole-heartedly guarantee that edibility posed any sort of concern to the young man. And also, if Luffy liked Sanji's food (it wasn’t a question anymore, Zoro already knew Luffy would become obsessed with the blonde man’s cooking skills) he was bound to appear around Sanji's store which meant one valuable customer that devoured anything placed in front of him. Zoro couldn't see the arrangement as anything other than a win-win situation for either man.

"Shouldn't you get going soon?" Law glanced down at his wristwatch and up at Zoro, expression characteristically neutral and blank. He flipped his hand over and showed the time to Zoro and Nami, who cursed softly and began tugging on Zoro's arm, valiantly trying to pull him off the bed and out of the house, muttering soft curses under her breath as she did.

"Get up, Zoro! You need to get going now!" Nami asked and planted her feet onto the ground, bending her knees; she used her abdominal strength and what little arm strength she possessed to tug Zoro forcefully of the bed. "You'll be late if you don't leave now."

"What are you talking about?" Zoro asked, confused. Admittedly the distance between Sanji's restaurant and his apartment was quite some distance but Zoro doubted he needed an hour's length head start. "The cook's place is a thirty-minute drive, less if I drive past the speed limit. I don't need to leave right now."

Zoro let Nami pulling him from the bed and entertained her as she pushed and shoved him on his back, pushing him closer and closer to his bedroom door with each huff and shove. Nami was actively panting now, a thin sheen of sweat covering her forehead and Zoro felt a little bad. He weighed well over double her current weight and Nami was trying to defy all logic by pushing an unwilling man, well over twice her weight and close to a head taller out the door. It didn't help that Zoro wasn't being the most cooperative person in the room so he decided to move his legs a little and watched the strain on Nami lessen considerably.

"You're...terrible...with....directions," Nami panted and managed to shove Zoro close enough to the door for her to reach around his waist and grab onto the doorknob, twisting it open and pulling, waiting for it to open before shoving Zoro out with Law following closely behind the duo. "You need to leave at least an hour early before you end up in another state like last time."

"That only happened thrice!" Zoro said defensively and was rewarded with a dry look from Nami, although he couldn't really see it. 

"You've already ruined the other dates and now you have less than two weeks before Christmas! You two need to get along ASAP or this entire plan will be a failure and Sanji-kun will be humiliated in front of his family. Again," Nami countered, "The last thing you need to be is late, so yes, you need to leave right now, and hopefully, maybe you'll get there in time for the date."

Nami had managed to push Zoro until he was at the front door and turned around, ready to grab Zoro's helmet and wallet only to be greeted by two slender arms, extended out towards her. All the items she was looking for were already gathered in two slim dark hands, covered in even darker tattoos and Nami lifted her head up to thank Law with a grateful smile before taking the items out of his hands and pushing them into Zoro's.

"Here. Your keys, wallet, phone, and helmet," Nami started and held out each item. "Please, _please_ don't be a dick today, Zoro."

Zoro rolled his eyes but took the items out of Nami's hands and began pocketing the ones that needed to be pocketed and then dangled the helmet precariously on his two right-hand fingers, carelessly swinging it back and forth as he said, "I got it, Nami. You don't have to remind me." Zoro did an exaggerated bow, mocking the blonde's weird obsession with bows, and said, "I promise to be on my best behavior on this date for my fake boyfriend to take me to meet his homophobic parents because you don't want me to stay home alone on Christmas."

Nami beamed. "You're finally starting to get it,"

Law sighed, tired of their antics, and reached in between the bickering duo and unlocked the door and opened it, "Get going, Zoro." Law said and Zoro turned to him, "Drive safe and don't be an asshole, yeah?"

Zoro's nose twitched but he nodded and walked out of the room, waving once over his shoulder before descending the steps and heading outside. Zoro couldn't really say he was nervous, it wasn't the first time he'd been on a date nor was it the first time he'd gone out with the blonde but he felt a bit strange, a bit off. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was that was making him feel so weird but Zoro could tell this time was going to be different. No, he knew it would be different. It had to be. Zoro would make sure it was.

Zoro went around to where his bike was parked and climbed on, fastening the helmet on as he did, he bent down and inserted the keys into the ignition before grabbing the handlebars and revving the engine a few times, testing to see if it was still working or not, and then pulled out of the parking spot and drove past their apartment building and into the road, speeding down the streets as he went.

* * *

If he was being honest, Zoro didn't really care about Sanji's circumstances. He could admit that it wasn't the best of situations and his family sounded quite foul but he didn't really care enough to be bothered with going out of his way to pretend to be someone's fake boyfriend just to anger said, foul family. It wasn't really his style, he preferred to not get in between other people’s families, learning the hard way just how that usually ended, but there was something undeniably attractive about the blonde that had Zoro yearning for more even though the chef did nothing but anger him and get under his skin.

Zoro assumed he was some sort of masochist because he found that particular trait to be as attractive as it was insufferable. Zoro liked that Sanji fought back, that he wasn't a wimp or a weak-willed cook with a particularly blessed pair of hands. Zoro liked that the man had a backbone, that he gave as good as he got, that he didn't back down. It was so fucking _hot._

Zoro shook his head slightly and tried to focus on the road, ignoring the slight tightening of his trousers in the middle. Zoro enjoyed driving recklessly, the thrill and rush of accelerating too fast on a turn or chasing after a car, or whooshing in between vehicles burned his blood brighter than any drug ever could but he doubted driving with a hard-on was exactly the kind of recklessness he was looking for. He tried to clear his mind as he drove and keep it that way for the entirety of the ride even though a part of him pondered over what kind of form-fitting suit the blonde would have on today.

"Oh fuck," Zoro mumbled to himself and tried to ignore how his body temperature heightened, or the heat slowly pooling in his gut at the image currently being mass-produced by his brain. It had nothing to do with Sanji. It was just because the weather was still a bit warm and Zoro was dressed rather heavily. That's what happened; definitely... It had absolutely nothing to do with Sanji or his nice suits. Zoro tried to convince himself throughout the entire ride but was about as successful as one could be if they tried to clean a sewer with a spoon.

* * *

Sanji was busy in the back, busying himself with the stacking and rechecking of boxes and making sure all the ingredients were stored properly when Zoro arrived. Sanji, knee-deep in a box filled with sugar and dry toppings, didn't hear the first two knocks on the door nor did he hear the frustrated growl that left Zoro. Sanji was pulled out of his mental calculations when he felt the strong vibration of his phone against his thigh. Startling a little, a small shriek left Sanji's lips and he paused for a second to rest a hand against his heart, feeling the strong rhythmic thumps against his hand before he reached into his pocket and took out his phone.

He looked at the Caller ID and cursed softly, the curse strengthening when he lifted his eyes up and saw the time. Sanji's finger slid to the right and brought up the phone to his ear. He hiked up his shoulder and pressed the phone against his ear, securely holding it in place before turning back to the box and closing it up, and putting it back. He would come back and finish it when he could, for now, he had slightly more important matters to attend to.

"You're here?" Sanji asked after Zoro gruffly explained where he was. Sanji left the room, making sure to lock it behind him, and went around to the front of the store, and true to his word, the green-haired man was actually there, phone held against his ear, mouth pulled down into a tight frown and eyes narrowed, shrinking even further when his eyes landed on the blonde male.

Sanji took his phone off his ear and canceled the call. He reached forward and grabbed the lock and turned it, a soft click sounding as the door unlocked and was pulled back and open for Zoro to enter. 

"Sorry, got distracted _,_ and lost track of time." Sanji started as Zoro walked past him, reaching back again to close and lock the door. He turned around and looked at Zoro, "How long were you standing there?"

Zoro's response took quite a while but he eventually said, "...Not that long. Arrived a couple of minutes ago. I knocked but you didn't respond." 

Sanji winced slightly. Although he wasn't particularly proud or happy of his upbringing and history, Sanji was raised to be a kind and perfect gentleman (another difference he shared with his siblings, Sanji thought bitterly. Their father wasn't a fan of niceties ever since he was young and believed they were rather unnecessary and made one akin to a doormat, thus his elder siblings and their youngest sibling grew up to be a whirlwind of insults and arrogance served up with a disturbing kink of deliberately hurting innocent, weaker bystanders unfortunate enough to be in their line of sight.) and keeping someone waiting, regardless of gender, was quite ungentlemanly and was downright rude. Furthermore, since he was the one who invited Zoro over, albeit unwillingly.

"Sorry," Sanji apologized again and went back into the kitchen, beckoning Zoro closer with his hand, he said, "I made the food earlier on and went to clean up the back. I completely forgot you were coming, sorry for that." Sanji turned to Zoro before turning back and pulling out the perfectly sealed food from the fridge and placing it down on an empty counter. 

"Take a seat wherever you want," Sanji added and pulled out two more platters of different foods. Zoro could see through the clear wrapping paper that this one was a different color from the other two already on the counter. This one was more vibrant and had a splash of red and orange all around and something brownish - _chicken? Is that chicken?_ \- rested in between the splash of colors. The second platter was flatter than the rest and had a considerably less amount of color. Zoro guessed it was spaghetti of some sort based on the long stringy pieces he could see on the plate. Zoro looked at all the food -four full platters worth- and turned back to Sanji, a bit disconcerted. 

"You made all this food for the store? By yourself?" 

Sanji pulled out one jug from the fridge, also perfectly sealed at the top with more wrapping paper, and placed it on the counter next to Zoro. Zoro briefly glanced at it and realized it was orange juice. _Probably hand-squeezed or something._ Sanji looked at the platters of food and then back to Zoro, a bit confused. 

"No, this isn't for the store." Sanji replied, "That one's still in the fridge."

"Huh?" Zoro furrowed his brows. He wasn't always confident in his memory especially when it came to remembering small, trifling details but Zoro was pretty sure Sanji had made too much food _at breakfast._ Zoro glanced at the foods again and wondered if people came to eat spaghetti for breakfast nowadays. Maybe it was a new trend and Zoro just didn't know about it. Regardless of the new trends and customs in the twenty-first century, Zoro knew it was weird to come and eat spaghetti and chicken for breakfast. In fact, the only breakfast like thing around them at the moment was the jar of probably hand-squeezed orange juice.

"I thought you made too much food for breakfast...Why is it in the fridge? I thought that's the one you wanted help with?" Zoro asked, befuddled beyond words.

Sanji let out a laugh that was more of a huff through his nose rather than an actual laugh. "I couldn't serve breakfast for dinner, could I? Even to an annoying customer such as yourself, I do have my pride as a cook, you know."

"So, you made more food...when you already had food in the fridge?" Zoro said slowly, trying to piece the story together and possibly get on the same wavelength as Sanji to try and understand how this made sense to him.

Sanji shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal. If it remains, I'll just take some of it down to the homeless centers around town." Sanji's fingers twitched idly and Sanji caught himself trying to reach for the breast-pocket where his cigarettes were but held himself back before he could. 

Zoro stared at Sanji for a while, trying to figure out...well, anything about the man. So far, Zoro had found out the man had quite a mouth on him and cursed enough to make a well-trained sailor blush to the tips of his ears. He could cook like no one else Zoro had ever met, and his food was fucking fantastic. He had a severe addiction to nicotine -if the subtle twitch of finger was anything to go by- and could easily spout out such things without even flinching. 

Sanji turned back to Zoro, "Aren't you gonna sit down? I have to warm the food up, it's a bit cold now." Sanji's lip curled up in distaste as he felt the temperature of the food with the back of his palm. Zoro hesitated for a second before opting to sit at the barstools next to the counter. Sanji looked at the food, saying, "I hope you don't mind microwaved food," The blond looked at Zoro, expression a bit apologetic. "I would warm it up with the stove but it'd take a bit of time to finish."

Zoro shrugged. "That's fine. I don't really care anyway."

Sanji hummed in response and focused on making sure each food was warmed up to perfection. Zoro watched him move around, movements swift and graceful, each step, each lift of the hand impeccably used to its maximum ability. Zoro could tell Sanji was perfectly in his element when he was in the kitchen, not only by his movements but by his expression. The blonde was murmuring something to himself but the corners of his mouth were curved upwards, a small barely noticeable smile on his lips as he moved around with the various foods, pulling out plates and glasses and cutlery as Zoro watched, slightly entranced.

"You really like cooking," It wasn't a question, nor was it a statement, it was just a sentence, akin to saying Sanji's hair was blonde. It was obvious to anyone with eyes; the blonde was quite in love with the art of cooking. 

Sanji was startled by the words and turned to face Zoro, one eye widened, startling blue eyes staring back at Zoro, flabbergasted. "Huh? Where did that come from?"

Zoro shrugged. "Nowhere, just thought about it." Zoro made little circular motions with his right pointer finger and said, "Just then, when you were warming up the food, it looked like you were dancing. You were even smiling a little bit,"

Sanji wasn't one to get easily embarrassed, day after day of public declarations of adoration and love towards women he would only see once trained any sort of shame and humility out of him but he felt blood rushing to his face and knew his face was undeniably a shade darker than normal. "W-what?"

Zoro shrugged again. "It's nothing to be embarrassed by, cook. It looks nice on you, smiling."

Sanji's face flushed several shades darker and he turned around, back facing Zoro, eyes widened as he tried to process what just happened. According to Sanji's admittedly biased and probably broken love-o-meter, Zoro had, entirely unprovoked, willingly and honestly just complimented Sanji. Sanji cleared his throat and tried to regain some of his composure. It wasn't like this was the first time Sanji had been complemented by a man or anyone really, but it was definitely the first time someone said it so casually, and it rattled Sanji. Not because it was a man, an infuriatingly attractive one at that, but because of how much Sanji liked it.

"Shut up." Sanji replied, "You need to eat something, you've already begun talking nonsense."

Zoro snorted. "Just say you're flustered cook, your cheeks are as red as a baboon's ass."

Sanji gaped at Zoro, completely aghast at the man's choice of words. "That's the only analogy you could think of? A baboon's ass?"

Zoro shrugged. "It's accurate."

Sanji opened his mouth and closed it several times, each response seeming less and less proper than the last but Sanji couldn't figure out a way to be proper while talking about a baboon's ass. Sanji took note of how ridiculous the entire situation was and snorted lightly to himself. All of the dates Sanji had ever gone to and this was the first one that was the most memorable and they hadn't even begun eating yet.

"You're unbelievable," Sanji said and turned to pull out two plates and two tall wine glasses for either male. Sanji looked at Zoro sitting very comfortably by the counter, eyes trained on Sanji's every movement. "You wanna keep sitting there like you're at a bar, or will you sit down on the tables like a normal person?"

Zoro looked between his current seat and the offered tables and chairs to his right for a couple of seconds, deliberating whether the second option was worth leaving the first one for as he had already become rather comfortable here and found it was an incredible spot to sit and check Sanji's tight arse out. But it was obvious the blonde wanted to sit down at the tables so, with a dejected sigh, Zoro stood up and went over to the dining tables and sat down on the closest one he was standing too.

Sanji moved around in the kitchen and grabbed some cutlery, some of them were basic cutlery such as knives, and spoons, and forks but there were a couple of curved knives and really long spoons that Zoro had never seen before. Sanji pulled out more, larger plates and began serving up the now warmed up dishes. Sanji added some additional touches to the food and once he was satisfied, grabbed all four plates and carried them over to Zoro, somehow managing to balance each dish in the crook of his elbows and top of the palms perfectly.

Sanji extended one of his legs out and grabbed the side of one of the tables next to Zoro and effortlessly pulled it closer to Zoro's table. Sanji placed each dish down without spilling even a drop and went back for the plates and glasses and the remaining pieces of cutlery he had left behind. Zoro wondered if he should try and ask if the blonde needed help but Zoro soon realized he would simply be in the way and would be doing more harm than good if he tried getting in the way now. After all, only one of them was a cook and knew their way around their own kitchen.

Sanji returned with the plates, glasses, and cutlery in his hands and Zoro had to marvel at the man's skill. Zoro didn't know how the man could balance holding two long wine glasses in the same hand he held three different rolled up parts of cutlery and hold two plates on the other hand. Sanji, oblivious to Zoro's awe, placed the plates down and placed the glasses and cutlery down.

Sanji turned to Zoro, "Could you wait a bit longer? I want to change out of this sweaty suit," Sanji pinched his dress shirt in distaste, nose wrinkles slightly in disgust. "I went back home and showered after I finished talking to you but my other suit is in the back."

"Sure. I'm in no hurry." Zoro replied and Sanji nodded once and went back into the kitchen and fiddled around for a little bit before exiting and going into the back. Zoro soon heard a door open and close and used the brief opportunity alone to get a closer look at the food. Zoro didn't really care about how the food looked like, after all, it was all going into his stomach in the end, what did it matter how it looked like, as long as it was edible, Zoro thought that was enough. That was why he could never understand Nami's obsession with making her food look pretty before anyone had a chance to eat it. It wasn't like the stomach had eyes inside there and would take a second to appreciate the attention to detail on this specific sausage before it began digesting it, but he couldn't deny Sanji's food had tickled his curiosity. 

Zoro knew he wouldn't understand or know any of the ingredients or spices Sanji had used but that realization didn't dissuade him and he leaned closer. Sanji had carefully placed each dish in a specific pattern. The lighter dishes and also the smaller portion-sized dishes were at the front and the heavier foods were at the back. Zoro took a careful look at the first and tried to identify just what it was. The meal was bright orange-reddish in color and was cut into perfect cubes. It looked to Zoro as if Sanji had carefully cut up chicken into perfect little cubes and then cooked them with a vibrant spicy sauce but upon closer observation, Zoro realized the pieces of chicken looked a bit too crunchy to be crunchy. 

Zoro moved on to the second dish and was glad to be able to realize something on the plate. Zoro thought the first dish was plenty colorful but in comparison to this second dish, the first dish paled considerably. While the first one was plenty vibrant, the color scheme remained in the same range while the second one had a splash of color ranging from red to green to brown. Unlike the first dish, the second dish had visible pieces of meat that were undeniably chicken and small, baby tomatoes carelessly strewn all over. There were small diced white things all around but Zoro couldn't really identify what it was. He thought it was that crunchy vegetables Nami liked talking about whenever she bribed him into shopping with her but he couldn't really be sure. There was also a bit of coriander sprinkled around the plate.

The third dish was the most basic one of the four and was a simple salad. Zoro could see some tomatoes and avocadoes littered around the bowl and quickly moved to the next one, his interest quickly fading when he realized he knew every ingredient in the bowl. Zoro got to the last plate and the one that interested him the most mainly because he could tell instantly what the ingredients used were but also because he wondered what kind of special twist the blonde cook had used for spaghetti. The last dish was a bit more basic than the others and appeared to a simple spaghetti and meat meal with spiced spaghetti and diced pieces of chicken and small, baby tomatoes cut straight down in the middle. 

Zoro was drawn out of his observations by his phone vibrating twice in his pocket. Zoro's brows furrowed and pulled out of his phone and unlocked it. The frown eased up when he saw who it was and Zoro huffed, already exasperated from a simple text. 

' _Zoro! how's the date going? I hope you haven't said anything stupid to our darling Sanji...'_

_'also if he's around you right now, don't bother replying!!' you'll just look rude,"_

Zoro typed out a quick reply, ' _not bad, we haven't tried killing each other yet.'_ Zoro added _, 'he's in the back, changing,'_

Zoro considered telling Nami about how civil they had managed to be with each other so far but knew if he did, Nami would never let it go and would pester the details out of him. Zoro didn't want to admit it but a small, very small, almost minuscule part of him enjoyed how the night had gone so far and didn't want to risk jinxing it. He had not only managed to maintain a comfortable albeit strange conversation with Sanji for well over ten minutes and had even managed to make the blonde blush and laugh slightly. Zoro counted this improvement as significant progress and feared if he brought Sanji's attention to it; it would all begin crumbling down on them faster than he could even finish talking.

_'that's good, keep doing whatever you're doing.'_ Nami replied, _'why is he changing, Zoro, did you two get up to something fun?'_ The text was punctuated with several suggestive emojis and Zoro rolled his eyes. 

' _no, you pervert. he said he sweated in his suit so he's going to change into another one,'_

His phone buzzed again. ' _he came to work with another suit just to change in for your date?'_

_'when you say it like that it sounds weird,'_ Zoro started, _'he just got sweaty, Nami.'_

His phone vibrated less than a second later. _'you know you two are supposed to be faking dating right? there's no need to act like a virgin, Zoro.'_

Zoro was about to type out a very coarse and wordy reply when he heard the door opening from the back and cursed softly. Zoro pocketed his phone quickly and tried to make himself look as innocent and patient as possible and as if he wasn't about to curse out the object for the majority of their arguments. Zoro's acting was very short-lived for the second Sanji re-emerged from the back, his eyes widened and his jaw almost fell open at the sight of the blond. 

There wasn't anything special or spectacular about Sanji's suit. It wasn't flashily designed or pattened with several patterns or different types of silk and was rather simple. It had to be one of the simpler outfits Zoro had ever seen the blonde in but _jesus fucking christ._ Sanji's suit was a simple dark jungle green color with a similar albeit lighter shade of pants and a plain white top with the two buttons at the collar open. The suit, like every other one of his suits, was form-fitting and held Sanji's body in a flattering manner, accentuating his slim curves and an even slimmer waist. 

Realistically, Zoro knew Sanji's outfit lacked a significant wow factor to amaze him like so, but there was something about the blonde, maybe it was the way he carried himself with confidence, every step, every move already calculated and thought out, or maybe it was how amazing he was, even if he didn't see it. Whatever it was, Sanji had something inside him that could change the most basic outfit into a red-carpet-worthy look.

Zoro tried to regain some of his composure before Sanji noticed him ogling, but was a second too late.

"Like what you see, marimo?" Sanji asked but there was a tilt to his voice. The man was smirking at him, glee apparent on his face and voice. His eyes were even shining, the blue orbs twinkling in the light reflecting the mirth and liveliness inside it. Zoro thought he spotted a hint of pride inside Sanji's eyes, but it could have been a trick of the light.

Zoro cleared his throat and turned away from Sanji. He didn't say anything and kept his eyes firmly on the vast amount of food before him. Zoro wasn't going to deny what the blonde saw, he was very obviously and very unashamedly checking the man out but he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of admitting it either. 

Sanji chuckled to himself and came close to the table and retook his seat. "Don't worry, marimo," Sanji quickly sized up Zoro and nodded his head, bottom lip slightly jutting out, "You clean up pretty well yourself."

Zoro looked down at himself and tugged on his shirt slightly, "Nami forced me into this, I was just gonna come in some jeans and a shirt." 

"Figures, always knew you weren't a man of taste."

Zoro snorted slightly, "You're the one on a date with me, cook."

Sanji's eyebrow twitched in response but he held his tongue and Zoro counted that as a win.

"Can we eat now, I'm starving," Zoro said and Sanji almost immediately switched to chef-mode and began explaining what each dish was and what kind of ingredients were in it as well as the inspiration for the meal. Most of it flew past Zoro's head, but he made sure to make an affirmative sound here and there as Sanji talked. Sanji finished his explanation and grabbed a plate and began serving Zoro first. Zoro wanted to say he was plenty capable of serving his own food but he saw how swift and smooth Sanji's movements were as he dribbled sauce around the plate in a seemingly careless but controlled manner.

Sanji handed Zoro the plate and started on his own. Zoro waited until the blonde was done serving up his own plate before picking up his fork and knife and digging into the meal. Zoro barely managed to hold back a moan of pleasure as the most exquisite flavor burst on his tongue and flooded his taste buds. Like before, Sanji caught onto the man's blissed expression before he could control himself and Sanji smirked, cutting a piece of the chicken and placing it in his mouth, he asked,

"So, when will you admit my food is pretty good?"

Zoro swallowed and cleared his throat, controlling his expression, he said with a shrug, "It's alright, I guess,"

Sanji snorted good-naturedly and took a sip of his drink, "You're such a liar and a bad one at that."

Zoro shrugged again but didn’t deny it. He tried to control himself and not immediately devour the food before him and slowly cut up another piece and kept it in his mouth, expression carefully blanks as he chewed on it and acted as if he was eating the takeout food from the Chinese store four blocks down from his house.

“Ah,” Sanji started and stood up, pushing his chair back, he moved away from the table and looked at Zoro, “I forgot to bring out the wine. Do you want some?”

Zoro paused for a second and thought to himself. If the food in front of him was hands down the best food Zoro had ever tasted, what were the chances his alcohol was just as good if not better? The thought made the corner of Zoro’s lips twitch slightly and he looked up at Sanji and nodded once.

Sanji turned and went back into the kitchen and dug around in the cabinets for the wine glasses before placing them on the counter. He went around into the store and went to the very back and stopped at a short stack of boxes that came up to his waist. Sanji removed the topmost box and popped open the lid of the one underneath it. He dug through the copious amount of straw before his fingers brushed against something that was undoubtedly glass. Sanji felt around until his fingers touched the long slender head of the bottle and pulled it up. He looked at it in the store light, the ruby-like color swishing softly as he moved the bottle around.

Sanji recovered the box and returned the other one on top before exiting the store, bottle in hand. Sanji passed through the kitchen and took the two wine glasses and a wine cork before returning to his seat. Sanji placed the glasses down on either side and took the corkscrew and inserted it before turning it twice and pulling it off. He poured a decent amount for himself and reached around to pour the same in Zoro’s glass.

Zoro managed to remove his face from his plate and watched as Sanji poured a child’s amount of wine into his glass. He stared disapprovingly at the little amount, barely an inch above the glass’s bottom, and looked at Sanji, arching one brow; he gave Sanji a look and turned his gaze back to his glass, smiling happily as the dark red liquid increased significantly.

Sanji placed the bottle down, its weight significantly lighter now, and looked at Zoro, or more specifically, watched as the green-haired man took a hearty gulp of the wine, a mixture of emotions swirling inside Sanji. He was horrified to watch the green-haired man chug back his favorite wine as if it was some cheap store-bought vodka, barely having enough time to taste it, to truly savor the bittersweet taste of the grapes on his tongue.

“That’s the strongest alcohol you have?” Zoro asked after another gulp. Sanji winced, but Zoro paid no mind to it.

“No, but maybe if you weren’t chugging it back as you’re drinking a keg, you would be able to really enjoy it,” Sanji spat out bitterly and glared at Zoro who shrugged.

“Taking my time won’t make it taste better anyway,” Zoro replied and picked up the glass, the liquid sloshing dangerously close to the edge as he brought it up to his lips and took a final chug, swallowing the wine in one large gulp. “Pricey shit like this never tastes good. I don’t know why so many people keep buying it,”

Sanji almost gaped. “Wine tastes good! You’re just too much of an alcoholic to tell the difference!”

Zoro shrugged, “Maybe but I’ve had better keg than this,”

Sanji scoffed, “I know you’re a terrible liar but that’s too much even for you,”

“It’s the truth. Just because something’s expensive doesn’t mean it’s better.” Zoro replied and turned back to his food, “Next time, I’ll handle the alcohol and you stick to the food.”

Sanji couldn’t help his surprise. “Next time?”

Zoro’s eyes lifted. “What? You don’t want to?”

Sanji leaned back in his chair, “I didn’t say that but what makes you so sure I’d agree to another time. So far, you’ve done nothing but lie to me and now, you think my alcohol tastes like shit.” Sanji placed his forefinger and thumb on his chin and pretended to think, “I’d have to say you’ve been a pretty terrible date so far,”

Zoro didn’t pick up on Sanji’s teasing voice and paused, seriously believing Sanji’s words. “Shit,” The green-haired man finally said, “You’re right.”

Sanji found himself surprised for the second time this night. Sanji’s impression of Zoro was a bull-headed, mannerless, and rude man with little to no tact and a foul mouth capable of rivaling his own. Nowhere in his impression did he think the man was capable of admitting his wrongs, and even have the decency to look guilty about it. Sanji wondered how many other surprises the other man had inside himself and felt a bit determined to debunk the admittedly horrible image he had built of him in his mind.

“I promised Nami and Law I wouldn’t be a dick during this,” Zoro continued and Sanji tuned back in. Zoro looked at Sanji and paused for another second before leaning back in his chair and resting his hands on his thighs. “Okay, what do you want to know?”

Sanji was puzzled. “Huh?”

“You said I’ve been a terrible date and I’ve done nothing but lie, so now, I’m giving you the option of asking me whatever you want, and I promise to not lie.”

Sanji let out a nervous chuckle. “What– like twenty questions?”

Zoro nodded. “Exactly like twenty questions. And I won’t ask you anything either.”

Sanji’s brows furrowed. “That doesn’t sound fair. I get to ask you, so you should ask me as well.”

Zoro shrugged. “Fine. You’re starting though.”

Sanji fumbled a bit, trying to rack his brain for anything, a question, something that he wanted to know about the man in front of him. Looking back on it, Sanji sort of regretted teasing the other man. Had he known it would have led to an impromptu game of twenty questions, he would have kept his mouth shut and just ate his food.

“Uh…then…what do you do for work?” Sanji figured it was a pretty neutral question and was a bit surprised he didn’t already know the answer.

“I work at a dojo,” Zoro answered casually and Sanji’s eyes widened.

“A dojo? Are you some sort of samurai? Do you have swords? Do you guys practice with swords in the dojo?” Sanji rambled on excitedly, eyes twinkling as his imagination ran wild with the image of Zoro in a dojo, all dressed up and sword in hand.

Zoro snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, a dojo, and no, I’m not a samurai. Yes, we do have swords but no we don’t practice with them, only the trainers and a few students are allowed to use them and only if we’re there to supervise.”

Sanji’s eyes were now comically wide. “Holy shit, that’s so cool…” He breathed out and Zoro resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The blonde was acting like one of his students at the dojo when they sneakily looked at the swords lined up in one of the practice rooms. He almost found it hard to believe the blonde was the same age as him, were it not for the neatly groomed beard growing on his chin and the skin above his lips.

Zoro reached into his pants and pulled out his phone. He dug through the photos for a moment before clicking on one and flipping his phone around and showing the screen to the blonde. “The violet one is _Enma_. The dark red one is _Sandai Kitestsu_ and the white one is _Wado Ichimonji_.”

Sanji openly gaped and took the phone from Zoro’s hands, awe shining brightly in his eyes as he zoomed in and took a closer at each sword. The violet one, _Enma_ , was a katana with a violet and gold color scheme. It was embellished with simple, golden, five-petal flower motifs on each side. Three pieces of cord were present on the sword; one on the very end of the handle. Another on the scabbard a bit below its mouth with two hanging, tufted ends and yet another cord further below on the scabbard.

The red one, _Sandai Kitestsu_ , was in the middle and had a small golden piece of metal just at the scabbard and was shaped like a rounded cross pattée; the hilt was wrapped reddish-brown, with a golden clasp around its middle and a golden pommel. The sheath of the sword was deep red and followed the design of the hilt. It also had two golden clasps in short succession around its middle.

The pure white one, and the prettiest one in Sanji’s opinion, _Wado Ichimonji_ , had a pure-white hilt with a circular hand-guard. The sheath was a mesmerizing white and had a traditional yet still stunning pure-white wrapped around a gray skin covering the hilt, leaving a diamond-shaped pattern. It was hands down, the best-looking sword Sanji had ever seen.

Sanji handed the sword back and tried to not look too disappointed about it. “How long have you had them?”

“Almost four years now.”

Sanji’s eyes widened again. “That means you’ve been practicing since seventeen?” He tried to not sound too shocked about the revelation but was rather unsuccessful.

“Hmm,” Zoro also seemed a bit taken aback by the statement, even though he was the one who said it and lived through it. “It’s been that long already…”

Sanji decided to move on from the topic before he became enamored with the swords but vowed to one day see the green-haired man in action. Sanji thought belatedly the swordsmanship explained the large muscles seemingly trying to burst out of the older man’s shirt.

“Okay, um,” Sanji took a sip of alcohol and moistened his throat before asking, “What’s your favorite food?”

Zoro’s eyebrow rose and Sanji cringed inwardly. Yeah, it was a lame question but Sanji defended it with a defiant raise of his own eyebrows, daring the swordsman to deny answering it. Zoro rolled his eyes but answered, “I don’t know. Anything’s fine,”

Sanji almost pouted and cursed his poor alcohol tolerance. He hadn’t even finished his first glass and somehow Zoro had served himself another glass and was well past half. “Come on,” Sanji prodded, “There has to be something you like,”

Zoro thought about it and said, “Rice balls.”

Sanji snorted which proved to be a large enormous mistake as the wine he was in the midst of drinking almost went down and out the wrong pipe. He coughed a few times and took one of the tissues and lightly dabbed his nose with it before saying, “Really, rice balls? And what, you eat it with store-bought vodka?”

Zoro’s hands uncrossed and his mouth falls open, eyes wide in shock. “How did you know?”

Sanji slowly looked at Zoro, fear, and disgust, and worry flashing across his face, “You can’t be serious…”

Zoro scoffed, “No, you idiot. I like rice balls because they’re easy to make and you can’t really fuck it up.” Zoro added as an afterthought, “Unless you’re Law…”

Following the conversation, Sanji found his third question of the night and asked, “Who’s Law? You’ve mentioned him twice now,” Sanji took another sip, “Is he your boyfriend or something…?”

Had he been drinking Zoro would have probably spat it all out but fortunately, his mouth was devoid of any liquid which meant he was left staring at Sanji, eyes widened and mildly horrified.

“No!” Zoro’s response was vehement. “First of all, gross, and no, he’s not my boyfriend. He already has one, and is somehow more annoying than him.” Zoro continued, “He’s one of my close friends and roommate. We met during college and became friends and we’ve been stuck with each other since.”

Zoro’s brows furrowed, “You’ve met him though, don’t you remember?”

Sanji tried recalling meeting someone called Law, and came up short. “I don’t remember him. When did I meet him?”

“The same time I met you, he was there with us. Remember, the dark-haired drunk with a weak liver? He was sitting beside me and Nami,”

Sanji tried even harder to remember but found it impossible. Or to be more specific, he found it impossible because all his memories of that night were swiftly overpowered by his conversation with Nami. It didn’t help that Sanji remembered Zoro being an ass during that time, which meant all of the men there sans Ace were easily categorized as assholes and not worth remembering either. However, Sanji thought saying all of that wouldn’t be taken quite as well and pretended to play dumb, at least to an extent.

Sanji nodded and pretended he knew exactly who Zoro was talking about and hurried to change the conversation again, but this time, for an entirely different reason.

“Any siblings?” Sanji asked and took the final gulp of wine. Sanji exhaled softly through his mouth and felt his cheeks flush, or perhaps it was his entire face, everything did feel a degree warmer for no reason. Sanji tugged at his shirt and unbuttoned his shirt, and used the edge to lightly fan himself.

“Nope, only child,” Zoro replied and Sanji nodded.

“You obviously know how many siblings I have so,” Sanji replied and said, “

Okay; I’ve run out of questions to ask.”

“So far, you’re an alcoholic swordsman with a fancy for rice balls and you have no siblings and Nami and Law are you’re only friends,” Sanji counted each fact on his fingers, and raised four fingers up at the green-haired man, “Oh, and you also like to be in pretend relationships during the holidays for a complete stranger,”

Zoro rolled his eyes, “I don’t like it, and I’m being forced to, remember?”

Sanji laughed, though it was more of a breathy exhale through his nose rather than a laugh. “Liar, you could have not come. If Nami was really forcing you to come to these dates, you could have driven around town for a while until it got late and then went back home and said you were here with me. Nami wouldn’t have ever known, but you didn’t, you dressed up,” Sanji gave the man a once over and pretended a part of him didn’t like what he saw, “and came here and played this childish game with me.”

Sanji rested his elbows on the table and leaned closer, and at this distance, Zoro could see just how stunningly blue Sanji’s eyes were and saw just how many colors were subtly mixed in with the blue; the edges were a lighter shade of blue, so light it was almost white, and the closer he got to the pupil, the darker his eyes became, as if he was standing at the shallow end of the ocean and with each second, he was walking closer and closer to the deeper ends.

“So, my last and final question is why? Why are you doing all this?”

Had it not been for the reddish color on the blonde’s cheeks and ears, Zoro would have thought the man was wholly and completely sober and was a bit stunned to hear such coherent words come out of the clearly drunk blonde.

Zoro licked his lips and weighed his options. He had quite a few but two of them would have him act in a shameful, cowardly manner and the other two meant he would have to be disgustingly honest with himself and Sanji and while that wasn’t as bad, maybe things would work out for him and Sanji wouldn’t remember anything he said, but he doubted that would happen. This meant he was left with one option, and with a heavy sigh, Zoro said, “Maybe I like you?”

This clearly wasn’t the answer Sanji was expecting. The blonde blinked dumbly for a few moments and looked at the space behind Zoro, as if expecting a clown to burst out from his chair and scream that this was all a prank. When it didn’t happen, the confusion became more apparent on Sanji’s face and he looked at Zoro, head cocked to the side, and a dumb expression on his face.

“Huh?”

Zoro snorted at the look and reached out to flick the blonde on his exposed forehead. “You’re not that bad of a guy, Sanji, maybe I like you.” A smirk filtered onto Zoro’s lips, “Or maybe, I’ve had a crush on you since the very beginning, and I’m using this as an opportunity to spend time with you.”

Pain flickered on Sanji’s face before it was replaced with his hand, reaching up to rub at the offending spot. Sanji removed his hand and blinked again at Zoro, his alcohol-induced brain failing to understand what Zoro was saying.

“You like me?” Sanji managed out and Zoro barely resisted rolling his eyes.

“Why not, I mean, you make amazing food, you run a business on your own, and you’re hot,” Zoro said with a shrug, “It’d be a bit hard to not like you. Even though, you can be an asshole.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you,” Sanji retorted with a scowl and Zoro chuckled.

Sanji’s scowl remained as he said, “But really, why are you doing all this? You can refuse, I mean maybe Nami will be a bit angry but you don’t have to do this,”

The scowl fell away to reveal a concerned look. Sanji was grateful for Nami, and he really appreciated what she was trying to do, but Sanji couldn’t forget that Zoro was being forced into this. Technically so was he, but Sanji didn’t mind following Nami’s orders, Zoro on the other hand, was completely different.

He didn’t want to do this, and Sanji couldn’t really make himself drag someone to his family business if they didn’t want to be there. It wasn’t right and made him feel disgustingly similar to his siblings.

Zoro sighed, exasperated, and tired from the conversation. Drunken Sanji was fun and was way talkative as opposed to the sober version of him but he was also somewhat exhausting. Zoro reached out and ruffled Sanji’s head, messing up those beautiful, perfectly styled locks that remained fluffy and soft even though the man was busy at work the entire day.

“You giant idiot,” Zoro started and oh, the scowl was back, “Do you really think I’m the type of person to do something I don’t want to?”

“Nami can be annoying,” Zoro continued and ignored the glare Sanji sent his way, “but she can’t force me to do something I don’t want to do. So before you begin imagining strange things on your own, love cook, remember that, alright?”

Sanji nodded the dumb expression back on his face again. Zoro sighed one more time and stood up. He turned back to Sanji, an expectant look on his face, “What are you waiting for? Get up.”

“Huh?” Sanji dumbly replied and Zoro gave him a deadpan look. “There’s no way you’re going home like this on your own, so get up. I’m taking you home.”

Sanji blinked furiously and looked around the store. Other than their own table, the store was pretty clean and was already organized, the tables were wiped down and the chairs were hung up on the tables. If he ignored their table, Sanji was actually good to go. But he looked down at their table, at the food still left on the plates, and the food still in the store and fridge and back up at Zoro.

“I can’t leave yet. I haven’t cleaned up these dishes or packed up the rest of this food.” Sanji pointed to the plates and glasses in front of him and Zoro reached out and grabbed his and Sanji’s empty plates in one hand and the glasses in another and headed in the direction of the kitchen.

“Hurry up, cook, this is your job, not mine,” Zoro called out and Sanji startled into motion. He took the remaining food and went with it to the kitchen. The two made quick work and soon the last plate of food was being wrapped and placed into the fridge and Zoro was drying his hands in the corner. Sanji double-checked everything; or rather he sat down and let Zoro do it under his instructions after the fourth time he walked into the kitchen wall in search of the light switch.

They left together with Zoro in the back and Sanji in the lead, pausing for a minute to let Sanji fumble with his keys as he tried to lock up and continuing to walk towards the parking lot. Sanji kept quiet, letting the cool December weather hit him and help sober him up. He enjoyed the feeling of the chilly wind cutting through the holes in his suits and cooling him down, his skin oddly heated from the alcohol. Sanji was too caught up in the feeling of the wind against his skin to realize where he was being led to but after the fourth consecutive corner, he lifted his head and looked at where he was going.

Sanji paused in his steps, his head turning to the sides and trying to identify exactly where they were. “Uh, marimo,” Sanji began and Zoro also paused and turned to him, an annoyed look on his face, “Where are we going?”

“What do you mean where are we going?” Zoro asked, the annoyed look worsening. “To my bike, of course, how else am I supposed to get you home?”

“I get that,” Sanji continued and walked to where Zoro was and did another turn, his eyes catching the flashing lights of the club across the street from his restaurant only it was more than a handful of blocks from where they were. “But where the hell did you park?”

“What are you talking about? I parked in your parking lot.”

“Yeah,” Sanji looked at Zoro, “But my parking lot is more than ten blocks away,”

Zoro had a puzzled look on his face, and looked around, “No, it’s not. It was right around the corner,”

“Which corner?” Sanji asked, “Because we’ve passed at least four of them in the last ten minutes,”

Zoro was dumbfounded. He did another turn and could vaguely recognize some of the buildings but it was as Sanji said, they were roughly ten blocks away from where they currently stood. Zoro looked at Sanji and they stared at each other, blinking dumbly at each other before a ‘pfft’ sound came from Sanji and the blonde man burst out laughing.

Sanji clutched his sides as he laughed, nearly collapsing to the floor in tears as he laughed. “I…can’t believe you got lost on a straight path,” Sanji wheezed, “Oh my god, this is too funny,”

“Shut up,” Zoro muttered and turned away, “It wasn’t a straight path, and there was a corner,”

“It was only one,” Sanji broke down laughing again, “You got lost on a mostly straight path with only one corner,”

Zoro clicked his tongue, “It’s not my fault things look so confusing here, and besides who knows, and maybe you moved the buildings around when I wasn’t looking,”

“I’m drunk!” Sanji wheezed and collapsed in another fit of laughter, “And what kind of superhuman powers do you think I have? How could I reconstruct the entire area when I was drinking with you?”

“Shut up!” Zoro snapped, hoping to shut up the blonde but it only made him laugh harder.

“Come on,” Sanji said and gathered himself, wiping the dirt off his hands when he fell down laughing, “I’ll take us back before you lead us into the next state by mistake,”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Zoro tried to defend himself but Sanji moved past him, small chuckles escaping him as he passed.

“I can’t trust that, marimo,” Sanji called out and Zoro’s lip twitched at the nickname but followed behind anyway.

The walk back was brief but was one of the most agonizing few minutes of Zoro’s life. Sanji refused to let Zoro’s slight mishap go and proceeded to tease him about it throughout the entire walk, teasing and cracking a joke each time they passed a block. It didn’t help that Zoro got a bit confused and wandered off the path a few times, causing Sanji to break down laughing each time he went back and got Zoro. Overall, the walk back was filled with a healthy amount of embarrassing moments Zoro knew he was never going to be allowed to live down or forget.

After a while, they rounded another corner and walked straight for a while before turning right again and they stopped in front of Sanji’s restaurant. Sanji snorted, definitely thinking about Zoro getting lost at a blatantly obvious location, and went around back to where Zoro parked his bike with the owner in tow, a displeased scowl on his face.

Sanji stopped in front of Zoro’s bike and bounced back on his heels, waiting for Zoro to come over and get on the bike. Zoro did so and climbed on and waited for Sanji to do the same before reaching out and taking his helmet from the handlebars and handing it over to Sanji.

Sanji took the helmet without any comment but spoke up when he realized Zoro didn’t have another helmet. “Wait, where’s your helmet?”

Zoro shrugged, his jacket bunching up at the corners then releasing, “Don’t have one,”

“Why not?”

Zoro shrugged again and inserted his key and turned the bike on, a steady low thrumming coursing through the engine and into their bodies. “Wasn’t necessary, no one ever rides on it other than me anyway,”

Sanji hummed and shrugged as well and wore the helmet. He should probably try to say something about road safety and all that but Zoro was a big boy, if he wanted to only carry around one helmet, then that was his problem, and Sanji had nothing to do with it.

Zoro slowly pulled out of the parking lot, using his legs as a stabilizer as he directed the bike out of its parking space. He paused and changed his position, saying over his back as he slowly drove out the parking lot, “You might want to hold on,”

Sanji did as Zoro suggested and held onto the metal bar behind him but came to realize that was a bad idea. Now, Sanji had been in a number of vehicles, although a motorbike was a bit of a rarity, and he had experienced a handful of driving styles, but Zoro’s had to be, hands down, the worst one. Not only did he driveway past the speed limit, but he also had no sense for traffic lights and continuously ran through them, and came close to driving them into a pick-up on more than one occasion. Throughout the drive, Sanji felt like he had more than one near-death experience and the position he was in wasn’t really helping as he had to be bent weirdly to hold onto the bars, meaning his back was arched high and most of his weight was in legs to keep him in place but it wasn’t as helpful as Sanji thought it would be after he almost slid off when Zoro made a sharp turn, the bike tipping dangerously to the side. Sanji soon switched from holding the back of the bike and brought his hands forward, clasping tightly onto Zoro’s jacket for dear life as the man drove recklessly through the night.

With Sanji’s directions, the two soon arrived safely at Sanji’s apartment complex. Sanji had moved from holding Zoro’s jacket to wrapping his arms around his waist, his grip firm and unmoving. Zoro stopped the bike, using one of his legs to steady himself before kicking out the stander, the steady rumbling of the engine slowing down to a halt.

Zoro sat there for a moment, a bit dumbfounded. He wanted to tell Sanji they had arrived at his place but the grip on his waist was stronger than he thought it would be and judging from how he felt his body firmly planted to the seat, he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, at least without the man releasing his grip.

“Cook,” Zoro tried, “Cook, we’re here, you can let go now.”

There was no response, so Zoro decided to change tactics. He shook the man’s hands as hard as he could and repeated himself, adding on when Sanji reacted a little, “I know I have a good body, but you don’t have to cling to it like that, you’re gonna make me blush,”

Almost as if he was burnt, Sanji pulled his hands off and moved back, immediately putting distance between their bodies. Sanji dismounted the bike and took off the helmet, handing it back to Zoro, he snorted and said, “Don’t get a big head, marimo, you’re passable at best.”

They both knew Sanji was lying but it was almost midnight and Sanji was still a little drunk. The truth didn’t really matter.

Zoro snorted and took the helmet back from Sanji’s hand. “Sure, sure, that’s why you held onto me throughout it all,”

“I held onto you because you’re a maniac and you almost killed us,” Sanji huffed and lifted his nose up, sniffing haughtily. “That’s the last time I’m getting on that demonic machinery with you driving.”

Zoro had to laugh at that, “Demonic? Come on, cook, it’s just a bike, and there’s no way you’d die with me.” Zoro puffed his chest slightly proud, “I’ve had this baby for years and I’ve yet to kill anyone or be killed,”

Sanji gave him a deadpan look and pointedly stared at the wound across Zoro’s eye, “Mm, that explains the lack of vision in one of your eyes,”

Zoro reached up and traced the scar over his eye, “That was from a fight, it has nothing to do with my bike.”

Sanji crossed his hands over his chest and asked, “A sword? Did you get it from a sword?”

Zoro shook his head and remained silent. It was clear that was the last thing Sanji was going to get about the topic and he shrugged. It was his business after all, whether he wanted to tell Sanji about the undoubtedly massive amount of scars he had to have all over his body, but Sanji couldn’t deny his curiosity was definitely peaked.

“Anyway,” Sanji started after an awkward pause, “Thanks for the drive, even though you almost killed me.”

Zoro rolled his eyes and wore the helmet, flipping up the visor so he could still see Sanji as he said, “Drama queen,”

“You ran through three traffic lights and almost collided with a truck twice!” Sanji defended and Zoro shrugged, “I knew what I was doing,”

Sanji floundered for words and snorted again and rolled his eyes, “Whatever, thanks, anyway.”

Zoro nodded and was about to flip his visor down when Sanji turned back to him, “Oh right, you didn’t take any of the food…”

“That’s fine,” Zoro replied, “I can come and get it tomorrow, assuming you’ll be at the store?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Sanji ran a hand through his face, worry blatantly obvious on his features as he thought of the food slowly rotting in his fridge. He looked at Zoro again, “It’s a lot of food though, and you think you’ll be able to finish it? I don’t want to give you if you’re not gonna finish it,”

“I won’t be able to,” Zoro started and the worry in Sanji’s eyes was swiftly replaced with anger and irritation, “But my friend can. He’s voracious, and eats everything.”

The irritated look in Sanji’s eyes withered away and now curiosity lay inside those large blue orbs. “Who? Law?”

“Nah,” Zoro shook his head, “He’s called Luffy, and you’ve never met him. At least, not yet,”

Sanji nodded slowly and let go of his bottom lip, momentarily wondering when it even went inside his mouth, and waved at Zoro, making a dismissive motion with his hands, “Okay then, I’ll text you when to come.”

“Got it,” Zoro said and flipped the visor down. “I’ll see you tomorrow, love cook,”

Sanji rolled his eyes at the nickname, “Go away, marimo,”

Zoro snorted softly and kicked the stander off. He turned the bike around and was about to drive off when Sanji made another comment.

“And don’t drive home drunk! You’re a danger to society,”

Zoro outright laughed, and started his bike, revving the engine slightly, he said, “A bit too late for that, cook,” and drove off. Sanji watched Zoro drive off until he could no longer see the bright red lights from his bike and went into the apartment complex and up to his room, exhaustion hitting him like a freight train as he went into his room and collapsed on the bed, immediately falling asleep without even changing out of his suit.

**Author's Note:**

> would really appreciate some feedback (good or otherwise) on the story!


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